Who do you cast?

[Keith&Co.]

Dwayne Johnson, 'The Rock', Gonzo's cleric
Margot Robbie, Pepe's rogue
Ian McKellen, The Swedish Chef's magic user
Kermit DMs, obviously. Poor sod...


Sir Ian: Heindend heevuhn whooshity.
Kermit: Right, (die roll) the fireball takes out the orc war band, but Pepe was sneaking up behind the band. Make your save.
Margot: I'm okay, okay? I have the Orb of Fire Dragon, see, so flames do not hurt me, okay?
Kermit: ONCE AGAIN, it's inside your bag of holding, you DO NOT GET THE BENEFITS if it's essentially IN A POCKET UNIVERSE!
Margot: It is a HOly RELic, OKAY!
Jason: It's a red dragon's testicle, not the holy grail.
Margot: You can shut your barbarian pie hole, okay?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Man, stealing Jumanji's plot and trying to make it their own. Sad! Regardless:

Vin Diesel as Scooter
Elijah Woods as Kermit
Ronda Rousey as Miss Piggy
Tina Fey as Fozzie Bear
Kevin Bacon as Janice
Michael Caine as Animal
Steve Buscemi as Gonzo
Zach Galifianakis as the Swedish Chef

 

[ideologyhunter]

My mistake... I thought this might be about Make My Muppets Come, on Juice DVD.

 

[hyzer]

Man, stealing Jumanji's plot and trying to make it their own. Sad! Regardless:

Vin Diesel as Scooter
Elijah Woods as Kermit
Ronda Rousey as Miss Piggy
Tina Fey as Fozzie Bear
Kevin Bacon as Janice
Michael Caine as Animal
Steve Buscemi as Gonzo
Zach Galifianakis as the Swedish Chef

I'd go with

Terry Jones as Statler
John Cleese as Waldorf

 

[hyzer]

Man, stealing Jumanji's plot and trying to make it their own. Sad! Regardless:

Vin Diesel as Scooter
Elijah Woods as Kermit
Ronda Rousey as Miss Piggy
Tina Fey as Fozzie Bear
Kevin Bacon as Janice
Michael Caine as Animal
Steve Buscemi as Gonzo
Zach Galifianakis as the Swedish Chef

Julia Roberts as Janice surely . . .

 

[ZiprHead]

Man, stealing Jumanji's plot and trying to make it their own. Sad! Regardless:

Vin Diesel as Scooter
Elijah Woods as Kermit
Ronda Rousey as Miss Piggy
Tina Fey as Fozzie Bear
Kevin Bacon as Janice
Michael Caine as Animal
Steve Buscemi as Gonzo
Zach Galifianakis as the Swedish Chef

Julia Roberts as Janice surely . . .

Admittedly Sesame Street is a little after my childhood. So who the hell is Janice?

 

[Keith&Co.]

Julia Roberts as Janice surely . . .

Admittedly Sesame Street is a little after my childhood. So who the hell is Janice?

Muppet Show, not Sesame Street.
She played bass for Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Man, stealing Jumanji's plot and trying to make it their own. Sad! Regardless:

Vin Diesel as Scooter
Elijah Woods as Kermit
Ronda Rousey as Miss Piggy
Tina Fey as Fozzie Bear
Kevin Bacon as Janice
Michael Caine as Animal
Steve Buscemi as Gonzo
Zach Galifianakis as the Swedish Chef

Julia Roberts as Janice surely . . .

Admittedly Sesame Street is a little after my childhood. So who the hell is Janice?

Bass player.

 

[Gospel]

Dave Chappelle as Scooter
Richard Prior as Kermit
Shirley Hemphill as Miss Piggy
Tracy Morgan as Fozzie Bear
Meagan Good as Janice
Bobcat Goldthwait as Animal
Nicolas Cage as Gonzo
Marlon Brando as the Swedish Chef

 

[Patooka]

Not sure if everyone read the rules properly.

Red Dragon Disciple played by Doug Jones voiced by Animal
Champion of Torm played by Peter Dinklage voiced by The Swedish Chef
Chaotic evil Monk played by D J Qualls voiced by Kermit.
EDIT: Gnome sorcerer played by Millie Bobby Brown voiced by Miss Piggy.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Paula Abdul as Dr. Teeth's Bard.

Teeth: Is it a boy cyclops or a girl cyclops ?
Kermit: What difference does... No. No-no-no-no!
Teeth: Answer the question.
Kermit: ::Sigh:: (die roll) It's a girl.
Teeth: I seduce the cyclops.
Kermit: Of course you do.
Teeth: But first...(fumbles with phone)
(On screen, Paula starts to dance to swelling music. "Knocked Out" starts to play. Cyclops raises her club menacingly.)
McKellan: Nin Da Hemphip Kablooey! Nin Kablooey!
(Music stops. Paula stumbles back.)
Teeth: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
("Opposites Attract" starts to play, Paula dances again. Cyclops watches, fascinated)
Kermit: Will you roll for it?
Teeth: Come on, math rocks! (Rolls) 20! A nat 20! Bwahahahaha!
Rock: The cleric wonders if he sees this heresy?
Margot: She's seducing a 30 foot tall lover, okay? EVERYONE is seeing this heresy, see?
Kermit: ::groan:: Okay, she puts the club down and kneels before you...
McKellan: Runder Vay Kos! Runder Vay Kos!
Margot: I'm with the wizard, okay? Running away.

 

[Patooka]

Seeing as the rules didn't specify living or dead actors Richard Kiel playing a half-orc wizard voiced by Sam Eagle. Kinda like Xanos Messarmos

 

[Keith&Co.]

Well, there are no 'rules' exactly. It's just for fun.
I mean, I try for characters that will look the weirdest with specific voices coming out of their mouths, but if you want to get the closest actor possible to the muppet, or some other rationale, it's all good.

Ideally, a few lines of game play to set the scene, but again, not necessary.

Kermit as DM
Animal as a Paladin, played by David Duchovny
Zoot as a Bard, played by Gillian Anderson
Bip Bippadotta as a Cleric, played by Kelsey Grammer
Beeker as a thief, played by Vin Diesel

DM: Okay, roll to unlock the doors.
Diesel: Meeps ( sneakily )
DM: And the doors swing wide.
Anderson: (Strums her lute: Sound of triumphant sax toot )
Duchovny: FORWARD!
DM: You find yourselves in a ballroom. Unlike the rest of the castle, it's still in good repair. In fact, it seems recently decorated in anticipation of a party. Paper streamers appear crisp, the candles are fresh, and unlit, there are clean plates and goblets on tables, but no food or drink on the buffets.
Anderson: (Strums her lute: Sound of tinkling wind chimes )
Grammer: Mah Na Mah Na
DM: Yes, you detect evil.
Anderson: (Strums her lute: Sound of car brakes screeching )
Grammer: Mah Na Mah Na
DM: The spell has no effect.
Diesel: Meeps ( fearfully )
Duchovny: SMITE EVIL!
DM: Behind you, the doors start to swing shut again.
Anderson: (Strums her lute: Sound of diving klaxon: AAOOOOGAH!! )
Grammer: Mah Na Mah Na
Diesel: Meeps ( urgently )
Duchovny: Doors?
DM: None of you make it before the doors shut. You now hear music playing from the balcony above the dance floor.
Anderson: (Strums her lute: Sound of bass guitar )
Grammer: Mah Na Mah Na
DM: No! Classical music! Classical Elven Music. You realize it's a show tune from a 3rd Dynasty Elvenhome Opera.
Duchovny: BOOOOORing!
DM: No it isn't!
Diesel: I Am Groot!
DM: NO YOU'RE NOT!

 

[Keith&Co.]

Fozzie Bear's Necromancer, played by Brian Blessed
Link Hogthrob's Paladin, played by Richard O'Brien
Crazy Harry's Wizard, played by Timothy Dalton
Bunsen Honeydew's cleric, played by Melody Anderson
Janice's fighter, played by Max von Sydow


DM: You enter the meadow where the invading army set up their camp. You notice rather quickly that the entire army is laying on the ground, sprawled out, dead.
Crazy/Timothy: FIREBALL!
Bunsen/Melody: No, no, no, they're already dead!
Janice/Max: Like, wow, so we get paid for stopping the invasion just for like showing up, huh?
Link/Richard: Can we tell what killed them?
DM: There are no obvious wounds visible from where you're standing.
Fozzie/Brian: So, you're saying their bodies are intact, is that it? I have a suggestion.
Bunsen/Melody: Back at Muppet Cloister, we determined that animating The Dead is ultimately an act of evil.
Link/Richard: I cannot tolerate someone being evil in the vicinity of my heroism.
Janice/Max: That depends on what you consider, you know, evil, right?
Fozzie/Brian: Look, I don't wanna do anything EVIL with an undead army, I just want to act out the French Mistake scene in Blazing Saddles. I need about 40 tap-dancers.
Janice/Max: (giggles) WROOOOOOOOONG!
DM: Is anyone examining the corpses? Anyone?
Fozzie/Brian: The corpses? You mean my corpses.
Link/Richard: He most certainly does NOT!
Crazy/Timothy: FIREBALL!
Fozzie/Brian: No! Not my corpses! (pause) Although, if they're burnt down to skeletons, the bones'll click on the abbey stairs. I won't need to buy tap shoes.
Bunsen/Melody: Or castanets!
Fozzie/Brian: Exactly!
Link/Richard: There are no castanets in that scene!
DM: Seriously, is anyone going to make a perception check near one of the dead bodies?
Fozzie/Brian: Come on, you guys love my re-creations.
Link/Richard: You couldn't get the Dead Parrot sketch to work, and one of your actors WAS A DEAD PARROT!
Janice/Max: But, like, you laughed, man.
Bunsen/Melody: We laughed when the set caught on fire, not at the comedic dialogue. Not the same thing.
DM: Or the meadow? Anyone looking at the grass, here? The tents? The general conditions of the environment that contains all these dead bodies?
Fozzie/Brian: The fire wasn't my fault!
(Everyone turns to look at Harry)
Crazy/Timothy: Delayed Blast Fireball.
Fozzie/Brian: I KNEW IT!
DM: Okay, time's up. Everybody make save against lightning.
Fozzie/Brian: What? With no warning?
Crazy/Timothy: Killer DM, man.