I have been a fan of drinking for a long time because I like to enjoy life and howl at the moon sometimes, but lately my wife has been telling me that I drink too much. People throw around the word alcoholic like they understand the complex nature of the brain and how neurotransmitters work on dopamine receptors in the brain, but I'm trying to actually understand if I have a real problem. I'm looking at the criteria in the DSM 5 for what they call Alcohol Use Disorder and I have a few disagreements and questions. These are the question psychologists ask to diagnose somebody who has a drinking problem:
DSM 5 Alcohol Use Disorder
1. Had times when you ended up drinking more, or longer, than you intended?
Who actually plans out ahead of time before you get to a party exactly how much you are going to drink, or how long you will stay? And even if you do that, should it not be allowed to have a few more drinks if it is a good party and with fun people?
2. More than once wanted to cut down or stop drinking, or tried to, but couldn’t?
Everybody knows that drinking is not good for you, except for maybe one glass of wine or beer per day to help relax. Drinking water is good for you, but if you drink too much it will kill you. If you drink water or alcohol in moderation, then maybe you will be ok.
3. Spent a lot of time drinking? Or being sick or getting over other aftereffects?
This is two different questions. How much is a lot of time? If you're drunk every day or every other day then yeah it's probably a problem. But who gets to decide how often you should drink? If you are young and in shape and your liver can process the alcohol then maybe you are fine to drink as much as you want?
4. Wanted a drink so badly you couldn’t think of anything else?
**This is new to DSM–5**
Yeah it's probably bad if you can't think of anything else besides wanting a drink, unless somebody you love just died or you are going through serious trauma like a divorce or something. Having a drink and contemplating the meaning of life or having a serious soul searching session is maybe better than hurting other people or yourself.
5. Found that drinking—or being sick from drinking—often interfered with taking care of your home or family? Or caused job troubles? Or school problems?
Hangovers are a part of drinking and yes they will keep you from being at 100% efficiency, but maybe your mind needs a release every once in a while. If you drink too much so that your children go hungry then yeah you have a problem. If you drink too much and can't mow the grass the next day, then fuck it who gives a shit. The grass is just a stupid plant that doesn't really effect anything except the HOA rules.
6. Continued to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends?
If your real friends are telling you to stop drinking then yeah you should probably consider what they are saying. If your family and friends are a bunch of idiots who don't understand how the brain works, but are quick to judge you, then why should you listen to them.
7. Given up or cut back on activities that were important or interesting to you, or gave you pleasure, in order to drink?
That's probably another good rule. If alcohol keeps you from doing things that you enjoy then maybe it's a problem.
8. More than once gotten into situations while or after drinking that increased your chances of getting hurt (such as driving, swimming, using machinery, walking in a dangerous area, or having unsafe sex)?
Life is a mystery. If you want to live inside a protective bubble to keep all the bad things from hurting you, then don't ever drink or do anything that might lead to danger. But if I go to a party and have a few drink, and then end up diving into a swimming pool with new people I just met, I don't think this should be considered a drinking problem. Perhaps the psychologists who made this rule are not very interesting at parties and don't understand how to have fun.
9. Continued to drink even though it was making you feel depressed or anxious or adding to another health problem? Or after having had a memory blackout?
This is one of the rules that I agree with. If somebody is drinking so much that they are experiencing black outs or depression then it's probably time to take a break. This is true of all mind altering substances and not just alcohol.
10. Had to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want? Or found that your usual number of drinks had much less effect than before?
I am descended from Vikings who used to drink from the skulls of their enemies. Just because I have a higher alcohol tolerance level than most people doesn't mean I have a drinking problem Sometime I think people are jealous when I can drink more than them and jump to conclusions
11. Found that when the effects of alcohol were wearing off, you had withdrawal symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, nausea, sweating, a racing heart, or a seizure? Or sensed things that were not there?
This is one of the harsh effects of being a drinker. The withdrawal symptoms are terrible, but at least when I get drunk and smoke some weed and listen to some music, or enjoy a movie, then I can finally sleep. Alcohol lets me relax, and for somebody who suffers from anxiety that's a blessing. I know it's not good for me but neither is sugar or thinking about the people you hate. I know alcohol kills a lot of people every year, much more than drugs do, but if the US tries to outlaw alcohol again then I will be out there in the streets protesting with a bottle of whiskey
DSM 5 Alcohol Use Disorder
1. Had times when you ended up drinking more, or longer, than you intended?
Who actually plans out ahead of time before you get to a party exactly how much you are going to drink, or how long you will stay? And even if you do that, should it not be allowed to have a few more drinks if it is a good party and with fun people?
2. More than once wanted to cut down or stop drinking, or tried to, but couldn’t?
Everybody knows that drinking is not good for you, except for maybe one glass of wine or beer per day to help relax. Drinking water is good for you, but if you drink too much it will kill you. If you drink water or alcohol in moderation, then maybe you will be ok.
3. Spent a lot of time drinking? Or being sick or getting over other aftereffects?
This is two different questions. How much is a lot of time? If you're drunk every day or every other day then yeah it's probably a problem. But who gets to decide how often you should drink? If you are young and in shape and your liver can process the alcohol then maybe you are fine to drink as much as you want?
4. Wanted a drink so badly you couldn’t think of anything else?
**This is new to DSM–5**
Yeah it's probably bad if you can't think of anything else besides wanting a drink, unless somebody you love just died or you are going through serious trauma like a divorce or something. Having a drink and contemplating the meaning of life or having a serious soul searching session is maybe better than hurting other people or yourself.
5. Found that drinking—or being sick from drinking—often interfered with taking care of your home or family? Or caused job troubles? Or school problems?
Hangovers are a part of drinking and yes they will keep you from being at 100% efficiency, but maybe your mind needs a release every once in a while. If you drink too much so that your children go hungry then yeah you have a problem. If you drink too much and can't mow the grass the next day, then fuck it who gives a shit. The grass is just a stupid plant that doesn't really effect anything except the HOA rules.
6. Continued to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends?
If your real friends are telling you to stop drinking then yeah you should probably consider what they are saying. If your family and friends are a bunch of idiots who don't understand how the brain works, but are quick to judge you, then why should you listen to them.
7. Given up or cut back on activities that were important or interesting to you, or gave you pleasure, in order to drink?
That's probably another good rule. If alcohol keeps you from doing things that you enjoy then maybe it's a problem.
8. More than once gotten into situations while or after drinking that increased your chances of getting hurt (such as driving, swimming, using machinery, walking in a dangerous area, or having unsafe sex)?
Life is a mystery. If you want to live inside a protective bubble to keep all the bad things from hurting you, then don't ever drink or do anything that might lead to danger. But if I go to a party and have a few drink, and then end up diving into a swimming pool with new people I just met, I don't think this should be considered a drinking problem. Perhaps the psychologists who made this rule are not very interesting at parties and don't understand how to have fun.
9. Continued to drink even though it was making you feel depressed or anxious or adding to another health problem? Or after having had a memory blackout?
This is one of the rules that I agree with. If somebody is drinking so much that they are experiencing black outs or depression then it's probably time to take a break. This is true of all mind altering substances and not just alcohol.
10. Had to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want? Or found that your usual number of drinks had much less effect than before?
I am descended from Vikings who used to drink from the skulls of their enemies. Just because I have a higher alcohol tolerance level than most people doesn't mean I have a drinking problem Sometime I think people are jealous when I can drink more than them and jump to conclusions
11. Found that when the effects of alcohol were wearing off, you had withdrawal symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, nausea, sweating, a racing heart, or a seizure? Or sensed things that were not there?
This is one of the harsh effects of being a drinker. The withdrawal symptoms are terrible, but at least when I get drunk and smoke some weed and listen to some music, or enjoy a movie, then I can finally sleep. Alcohol lets me relax, and for somebody who suffers from anxiety that's a blessing. I know it's not good for me but neither is sugar or thinking about the people you hate. I know alcohol kills a lot of people every year, much more than drugs do, but if the US tries to outlaw alcohol again then I will be out there in the streets protesting with a bottle of whiskey