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Caption Contest

I am going to be tied up the next few days.

I abdicate in favor of the next in line.
 
It was a happy marriage until the day she found redwood splinters on his penis.
 
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Oh hey, look at the guest list in here. It says "President Clinton". That's me ... just me. You don't get called that.
 
Here we go (I don't know how to edit the size):

kim-jong-un-person-of-year-2017-time-magazine1.jpg
 
Whyyy does anyone think I have two chins? Sigh, I was going to give up all nuclear weapons until I saw that coin.
 
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