If you become suicidal from being an atheist I suggest you stay a Christian.
Well in high school I had a depressing romantic life but looked forward to heaven.... (and didn't know that Jesus says that there is no marriage in heaven) Then as an atheist I believed that all I had was my life on earth - without an invisible friend. A few years ago when I was suicidal I tried hard to believe in hell but I had trouble doing that.
No, offence but if you have a tendency towards psychosis you know you can't trust yourself.
I think part of the cause were books by Ken Keyes - I learnt to stop having negative emotions...
https://lifesplayer.com/happiness.php
I learnt to be detached but I think the lack of negative emotions caused me to seek excitement including risky situations. Also when I'm psychotic (manic) it involves a night or two of little or no sleep - now I always make sure I take sleeping tablets if I am up too late - until I fall asleep....
Here is an email I sent to my employers (for a PHP programming job) in the morning of my 2019 hospitalization....
Hi S***,
I have resigned without warning....
....
I have done a subject at university that taught me about how to start a business. They said that normally entrepreneurs fail the first two times before they succeed.
Well these two projects:
.....
were a failure - I didn't make any money.
But I've learnt from my mistakes.
By [My] new project combines the Bible with fat loss (without any muscle loss). Apparently the weight loss industry is worth tens of billions of dollars per year and Christian authors like Joyce Meyer make millions of dollars. Perhaps combining the two plus making a unique cheap and easy diet would less [sell] more than a million copies....
...
Check mate.
That was based on purely my own reasoning without any feedback..... but now I can instantly see if my websites are actually getting any visits, etc, but I still can get a little hubris with small wins. Before that email I had already registered a company (Cheap Easy Fat Loss Dot Diet Pty Ltd), got a custom drawing done and made the site live - within a few hours.... (in the early hours of the morning)