I was a TYPICAL TOURIST on Jan 6th, got back to my car at the commuter station, where someohe had defaced my TRUMP flags and flattened my tires. You were the AAA tow truck that came to my rescue and i've been hiding in your basement ever since.
You asked the room, "If we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?"
I stood up and asked, "Are you trying to sound smart or stupid?"
You said, "Trump is still the President!"
And I've been calling you my little idiot ever since.
I remember trying to get the bagel out of the toaster.
Next thing i know, I hear you say, "He's gone, I'm calling it."
I sat up on the gurney and asked, "Who's gone?"
When you stopped screaming i asked for your name.
You were mopping the hallway, with big DO NOT FUCKING ENTER signs at both ends. I had to get into the supplies closet for a pen.
I slipped, you caught me, it was love at first sight right after you remopped the floor.