Donald Trump Greeting Card Company

[Jimmy Higgins]

Well, Trump the poet gave us his incredible all cap writeup for a Holocaust Memorial. It was HONOR AND AMAZING, he did All Caps in a hand written note.

So I thought after Trump resigns, he can fulfill his true promise, Greeting Cards! Just some rough drafts.

Happy Birthday

Trump just wants to tell you, have a happy birthday. I hope its beautiful. You are an awesome, amazing person, the greatest.

Loss

I just want to say how sorry I am, truly sorry. I have never been so sorry in my life. No really. It pains me so much.

First Communion

First communions are the greatest. I Hope you enjoy all of your future communions as well. They really are great things.

Bar Mitvah

Congratulations for becoming a man. I have a lot of Jew friends and they say this is the greatest thing ever. Enjoy the Bris.

Valentines Day

You know what you have in common with KFC? My heart. Truly, KFC and you. Believe me!

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Cinco de Mayo

*blank card*


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Keith&Co.]

Loss

I just want to say how sorry I am, truly sorry. I have never been so sorry in my life. No really. It pains me so much.

I think you miss the central essence of the Trump expression of feelings.
YOU'VE SUFFERED A LOSS. NO ONE KNOWS MORE THAN I DO ABOUT LOSS. YOU'LL GET OVER YOUR LOSS BECAUSE I HAVE SUFFERED FAR GREATER LOSS AND I GOT OVER MINE.
HANG IN THERE, FRIEND. AND REMEMBER, THE PERSON YOU LOST IS THE LOSER, NOT YOU.

 

[snoiduspoitus]

Life

Didn't have the courage to inherit millions? Loser. Total loser.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Enjoy the Bris.

Involuntarily crosses legs.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

First Communion

I met the Pope. He is a great, beautiful man. If there is one thing that I think is great, it is Communion. Free food, free wine, I love free! I hope you enjoy your First communion, as much as I would, and all of your future communions as well. I really think they are great things.


Loss

I just want to say how sorry I am, truly sorry. I honestly feel that I can say that I have never been so sorry in my life. No really, it pains me so much. So much. I can only hope that given time, I can overcome this.

Retirement

I remember this one time I met with a Contractor who built the foyer in one of my beautiful casinos. Oh, so beautiful. Successful too! And I had my lawyers with me, and believe me... these are the best lawyers money can buy. We talked to the contractor that did the work and informed him that we weren't going to be able to make the final four payments we had already agreed to because of some wonderful gorgeous reason my lawyers had concocted to help me save money. So I offered him something much less, and he looked angry, but I honestly thought he wanted to cry... so sad! So sad! Anyway, my accountants were able to deduct his loss in my underpayment to him from my taxes. And I bet you feel almost as great as I did that day with your retirement. Lawyers and accountants are the best!

Bar Mitvah

Jews are the best! I hear getting circumcised is tough, but you get a great payoff. Snip Snip! Just kidding. I love the Jews!

 

[Elixir]

Fathers Day

Dear Dad,
Thank you for taking me to that AMAZING party. I had a TREMENDOUS time dancing with all those GREAT people - they were the best people, trust me. I only wish I knew who they were so I could thank them, but they all looked alike, what with those awesome sheets and hoodies they were wearing. If you know who they were, please thank them for me!
Your Son,
Donsky Trumpovich

PS next time can I roast some marshmallows on that big X fire?

 

[snoiduspoitus]

Misunderstood Day...

Yes, I'm an orange-haired misunderstood dork-face, but I don't mean well.

I'm a dick.

You know I'm a dick and you love me.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Father's Day

My son loves me. He loves me more than any kid has loved their father. And I'm honored, because he is the best son. I love Barrom loves me so much. You can only hope that your child loves you half as much as my son loves me.