Grindr says no to "No fatties, no femmes, no Asians": when gay sex apps go woke.

[dismal]

So "no asians" is the sort of sexual preference that should be kept in the closet because it makes some people uncomfortable?

more accurately, "no asians" in this context is the sort of sexual preference that publicly announces that a given ethnic group has no value as human beings whatsoever - assuming that a particular trait carries over from straight male behavior to gay male behavior.

little diversion here to explain this:
it is a fact is that in the culture of humans, a woman's value *as a human being* is partly or largely based on how much men want to fuck her.
(this is an equality problem, because it's fine for your value as someone they others want to be fuck is based on whether others want to fuck you, but your value as an independent thinking entity being based on whether others want to fuck you is another thing entirely).
and the reality is that while women may not experience that from everyone they meet every day of their life, most of their existence is spent acutely feeling the fact that their worth as a fellow member of the species is judged solely on whether or not the men in the room want to stick their dick in her.
this is why there are a lot of issues with the sexualization of women and how things that might technically seem innocuous can be a major issue with regards to how women interact with society on a day to day basis.

i was curious about whether this was some gender dynamic thing between men and women, but after asking around to some gay folks i know and those adjacent to the gay community, the feedback i got is that this happens with gay men as well.
the interesting thing is how this causes a kind of self-perpetuating feedback loop, where gay men are both judging the value of other men's existence solely on if they want to fuck them, while also having the merits of their existence judged on whether others want to fuck them.

so in a cultural context where "how much i want to fuck you determines your worth as a human being" is a prominent factor, that can make "no asians" a subtextually broader statement than simply a qualifier for sexual preference.

Your post reminded me of something.

I played CounterStrike for over 15 years. Some of the maps in that game are hostage rescue missions, and one of the hostages looks Asian. About 6-7 years ago, people started making comments about the Asian hostage like he was of lesser value than the white ones, or that they wanted him to die, and occasionally making "jokes" about Asian character traits. At the time I thought it was a CounterStrike thing but now I wonder if hating on Asians was/is trending in internet culture. The servers I played on didn't allow players to use the N-word or call people fags, or say something bad is 'ghey'. But anti-Asian talk was allowed unless a Asian player objected.

I wonder if online anti-Asian bigotry has been getting a free pass because no one took it seriously.

No one is saying it's not possible to be racist against asians.

What they are saying is it's bigoted to assume someone with a "no asians" sexual preference is a racist or a psycho.

There could be asians with a "no asians" sexual preference. People like what they like.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

It's not racist. People like who they like. I do the same thing when we invite friends of my son when he has a birthday party. I put it right on the invitations he takes to school: "No fatties. No Asians." It's just a birthday invitation preference.

 

[Politesse]

What about Grindr's preferences? If I were a business owner with a platform, I would definitely prefer that the main screen not be filled with insults lobbied at other customers every time they log in. If your personal sexual preferences are important, that's fine, but I don't see why my priorities as a business aren't equally if not more important. Partly because you can accomplish your goals (finding someone to sleep with you aren't racist against) without hindering mine. Just don't accept any hookups with fat Asian femmes when they pop up on your screen, and both of our needs are met.

But the same is not true in reverse. If I lose business because of something you posted, that money is just gone, there's no way to get it back. If the behavior is prevalent, and I get a general reputation for being whites-only, the damage from that probably can't be undone, period. Or if it can be undone, it would have to be through a big public campaign like this one. Why the hell should I sacrifice my entire business just to give you a thin illusion of free speech? You won't be hooking up with anyone at all if my site goes under because of your activities. I doubt that a gay app catering exclusively to white supremacists would be financially viable on its own.

 

[dismal]

What about Grindr's preferences? If I were a business owner with a platform, I would definitely prefer that the main screen not be filled with insults lobbied at other customers every time they log in. If your personal sexual preferences are important, that's fine, but I don't see why my priorities as a business aren't equally if not more important. Partly because you can accomplish your goals (finding someone to sleep with you aren't racist against) without hindering mine. Just don't accept any hookups with fat Asian femmes when they pop up on your screen, and both of our needs are met.

But the same is not true in reverse. If I lose business because of something you posted, that money is just gone, there's no way to get it back. If the behavior is prevalent, and I get a general reputation for being whites-only, the damage from that probably can't be undone, period. Or if it can be undone, it would have to be through a big public campaign like this one. Why the hell should I sacrifice my entire business just to give you a thin illusion of free speech? You won't be hooking up with anyone at all if my site goes under because of your activities. I doubt that a gay app catering exclusively to white supremacists would be financially viable on its own.

We're 11 pages into this and I don't believe anyone has yet argued grindr can't do what they want to do. IIRC the OP said this specifically.

I have long supported a businesses right not to accept messages it does not want to accept, like for example on wedding cakes. I welcome your support for a businesses right to reject messages they don’t like.

That has no bearing one way or the other on whether people who have a "no asians" sexual preference are racist.

 

[Arctish]

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me, and escape.
( no Asians)

 

[dismal]

It's not racist. People like who they like. I do the same thing when we invite friends of my son when he has a birthday party. I put it right on the invitations he takes to school: "No fatties. No Asians." It's just a birthday invitation preference.

Look, if you’re inviting your son’s friends to parties to have sex with them you’ve got bigger problems than Grindr.

 

[Politesse]

What about Grindr's preferences? If I were a business owner with a platform, I would definitely prefer that the main screen not be filled with insults lobbied at other customers every time they log in. If your personal sexual preferences are important, that's fine, but I don't see why my priorities as a business aren't equally if not more important. Partly because you can accomplish your goals (finding someone to sleep with you aren't racist against) without hindering mine. Just don't accept any hookups with fat Asian femmes when they pop up on your screen, and both of our needs are met.

But the same is not true in reverse. If I lose business because of something you posted, that money is just gone, there's no way to get it back. If the behavior is prevalent, and I get a general reputation for being whites-only, the damage from that probably can't be undone, period. Or if it can be undone, it would have to be through a big public campaign like this one. Why the hell should I sacrifice my entire business just to give you a thin illusion of free speech? You won't be hooking up with anyone at all if my site goes under because of your activities. I doubt that a gay app catering exclusively to white supremacists would be financially viable on its own.

We're 11 pages into this and I don't believe anyone has yet argued grindr can't do what they want to do. IIRC the OP said this specifically.

I have long supported a businesses right not to accept messages it does not want to accept, like for example on wedding cakes. I welcome your support for a businesses right to reject messages they don’t like.

That has no bearing one way or the other on whether people who have a "no asians" sexual preference are racist.

That question has a plainly obvious answer, as many have remarked. Unless you're making classic racist assumptions about what people of a certain "race" are like, having sexual preferences based on race (or height, or weight, or whatever) is logically incoherent. But if you just want to be privately deluded about whether you are a racist, that seems like a fact which is relevant to no one but yourself. I mean, go ahead, right? Plenty of people have sexual preferences which would strike someone else as rude if they were said out loud. But that really is no one else's business, provided you keep it to yourself and don't act overtly abusive toward others. I mean, I wouldn't probably date someone who was significantly taller than me, unemployed for more than a year, a Nazi, a straight boy, or a chain smoker, and I bet some people would be offended if they knew one or more of those things. But no one really complains about any of those criteria, because they don't know about them in the first place. I'm fine with you having whatever racist thoughts you like, in the privacy of your own mind. In fact, if you'd really rather not sleep with white guys, or socialists, or people who like to orgasm to the rhapsodic crescendo of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I certainly hope you don't push through your biases and try to Grind me anyway. What good could come of that, aside from a very awkward and ultimately frustrating dinner date? By all means, please politely avoid bringing me to bed. Your thoughts and discretion are your own, as long as they are in fact your own.

Unless you're trying to interfere with or complain about what Grindr is doing. Or for that matter, post rude-ass racist want ads in the first place. Then it becomes everyone else's business. You made it everyone else's business by bleating about it.

 

[Metaphor]

It's not racist. People like who they like. I do the same thing when we invite friends of my son when he has a birthday party. I put it right on the invitations he takes to school: "No fatties. No Asians." It's just a birthday invitation preference.

Giving the femmes a free pass I see.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

It's not racist. People like who they like. I do the same thing when we invite friends of my son when he has a birthday party. I put it right on the invitations he takes to school: "No fatties. No Asians." It's just a birthday invitation preference.

Look, if you’re inviting your son’s friends to parties to have sex with them you’ve got bigger problems than Grindr.

How dare you accuse me of being a libertarian!

 

[dismal]

What about Grindr's preferences? If I were a business owner with a platform, I would definitely prefer that the main screen not be filled with insults lobbied at other customers every time they log in. If your personal sexual preferences are important, that's fine, but I don't see why my priorities as a business aren't equally if not more important. Partly because you can accomplish your goals (finding someone to sleep with you aren't racist against) without hindering mine. Just don't accept any hookups with fat Asian femmes when they pop up on your screen, and both of our needs are met.

But the same is not true in reverse. If I lose business because of something you posted, that money is just gone, there's no way to get it back. If the behavior is prevalent, and I get a general reputation for being whites-only, the damage from that probably can't be undone, period. Or if it can be undone, it would have to be through a big public campaign like this one. Why the hell should I sacrifice my entire business just to give you a thin illusion of free speech? You won't be hooking up with anyone at all if my site goes under because of your activities. I doubt that a gay app catering exclusively to white supremacists would be financially viable on its own.

We're 11 pages into this and I don't believe anyone has yet argued grindr can't do what they want to do. IIRC the OP said this specifically.

I have long supported a businesses right not to accept messages it does not want to accept, like for example on wedding cakes. I welcome your support for a businesses right to reject messages they don’t like.

That has no bearing one way or the other on whether people who have a "no asians" sexual preference are racist.

That question has a plainly obvious answer, as many have remarked. Unless you're making classic racist assumptions about what people of a certain "race" are like, having sexual preferences based on race (or height, or weight, or whatever) is logically incoherent. But if you just want to be privately deluded about whether you are a racist, that seems like a fact which is relevant to no one but yourself. I mean, go ahead, right? Plenty of people have sexual preferences which would strike someone else as rude if they were said out loud. But that really is no one else's business, provided you keep it to yourself and don't act overtly abusive toward others. I mean, I wouldn't probably date someone who was significantly taller than me, unemployed for more than a year, a Nazi, a straight boy, or a chain smoker, and I bet some people would be offended if they knew one or more of those things. But no one really complains about any of those criteria, because they don't know about them in the first place. I'm fine with you having whatever racist thoughts you like, in the privacy of your own mind. In fact, if you'd really rather not sleep with white guys, or socialists, or people who like to orgasm to the rhapsodic crescendo of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I certainly hope you don't push through your biases and try to Grind me anyway. What good could come of that, aside from a very awkward and ultimately frustrating dinner date? By all means, please politely avoid bringing me to bed. Your thoughts and discretion are your own, as long as they are in fact your own.

Unless you're trying to interfere with or complain about what Grindr is doing. Or for that matter, post rude-ass racist want ads in the first place. Then it becomes everyone else's business. You made it everyone else's business by bleating about it.

But, what if you're not around to lecture me on who I am supposed to be attracted to for politically correct reasons?

I may slide back into being attracted to people I'm actually attracted to.

More fatties for the rest of you I guess. I do like Asians. But just the hot ones.

Thank goodness there are enough hot asians to keep me from being racist against them.

It's Eskimos i'm worried about. I can't recall every being attracted to one.

 

[Politesse]

That question has a plainly obvious answer, as many have remarked. Unless you're making classic racist assumptions about what people of a certain "race" are like, having sexual preferences based on race (or height, or weight, or whatever) is logically incoherent. But if you just want to be privately deluded about whether you are a racist, that seems like a fact which is relevant to no one but yourself. I mean, go ahead, right? Plenty of people have sexual preferences which would strike someone else as rude if they were said out loud. But that really is no one else's business, provided you keep it to yourself and don't act overtly abusive toward others. I mean, I wouldn't probably date someone who was significantly taller than me, unemployed for more than a year, a Nazi, a straight boy, or a chain smoker, and I bet some people would be offended if they knew one or more of those things. But no one really complains about any of those criteria, because they don't know about them in the first place. I'm fine with you having whatever racist thoughts you like, in the privacy of your own mind. In fact, if you'd really rather not sleep with white guys, or socialists, or people who like to orgasm to the rhapsodic crescendo of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I certainly hope you don't push through your biases and try to Grind me anyway. What good could come of that, aside from a very awkward and ultimately frustrating dinner date? By all means, please politely avoid bringing me to bed. Your thoughts and discretion are your own, as long as they are in fact your own.

Unless you're trying to interfere with or complain about what Grindr is doing. Or for that matter, post rude-ass racist want ads in the first place. Then it becomes everyone else's business. You made it everyone else's business by bleating about it.

But, what if you're not around to lecture me on who I am supposed to be attracted to for politically correct reasons?

I may slide back into being attracted to people I'm actually attracted to.

More fatties for the rest of you I guess. I do like Asians. But just the hot ones.

Thank goodness there are enough hot asians to keep me from being racist against them.

It's Eskimos i'm worried about. I can't recall every being attracted to one.

How does your post have anything whatsoever to do with mine? Did you quote the wrong post?

 

[dismal]

That question has a plainly obvious answer, as many have remarked. Unless you're making classic racist assumptions about what people of a certain "race" are like, having sexual preferences based on race (or height, or weight, or whatever) is logically incoherent. But if you just want to be privately deluded about whether you are a racist, that seems like a fact which is relevant to no one but yourself. I mean, go ahead, right? Plenty of people have sexual preferences which would strike someone else as rude if they were said out loud. But that really is no one else's business, provided you keep it to yourself and don't act overtly abusive toward others. I mean, I wouldn't probably date someone who was significantly taller than me, unemployed for more than a year, a Nazi, a straight boy, or a chain smoker, and I bet some people would be offended if they knew one or more of those things. But no one really complains about any of those criteria, because they don't know about them in the first place. I'm fine with you having whatever racist thoughts you like, in the privacy of your own mind. In fact, if you'd really rather not sleep with white guys, or socialists, or people who like to orgasm to the rhapsodic crescendo of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I certainly hope you don't push through your biases and try to Grind me anyway. What good could come of that, aside from a very awkward and ultimately frustrating dinner date? By all means, please politely avoid bringing me to bed. Your thoughts and discretion are your own, as long as they are in fact your own.

Unless you're trying to interfere with or complain about what Grindr is doing. Or for that matter, post rude-ass racist want ads in the first place. Then it becomes everyone else's business. You made it everyone else's business by bleating about it.

But, what if you're not around to lecture me on who I am supposed to be attracted to for politically correct reasons?

I may slide back into being attracted to people I'm actually attracted to.

More fatties for the rest of you I guess. I do like Asians. But just the hot ones.

Thank goodness there are enough hot asians to keep me from being racist against them.

It's Eskimos i'm worried about. I can't recall every being attracted to one.

How does your post have anything whatsoever to do with mine? Did you quote the wrong post?

I was hoping you could elaborate more on whether I am logically coherent in my sexual attractions. What filters should I be applying?

No just me of course, someone as gifted as you at telling people who they should be attracted to should share their gift with the world.

 

[Politesse]

How does your post have anything whatsoever to do with mine? Did you quote the wrong post?

I was hoping you could elaborate more on whether I am logically coherent in my sexual attractions. What filters should I be applying?

No just me of course, someone as gifted as you at telling people who they should be attracted to should share their gift with the world.

I didn't tell you "who you should be attracted to", I said quite the opposite of that. Your attitudes are obviously racist, but that's your business and yours alone as long as you aren't making a public issue of it. No one has a right to define anyone else's sexual appetites. I said as much. Maybe you should learn to read before flying off the handle.

 

[dismal]

How does your post have anything whatsoever to do with mine? Did you quote the wrong post?

I was hoping you could elaborate more on whether I am logically coherent in my sexual attractions. What filters should I be applying?

No just me of course, someone as gifted as you at telling people who they should be attracted to should share their gift with the world.

I didn't tell you "who you should be attracted to", I said quite the opposite of that. Your attitudes are obviously racist, but that's your business and yours alone as long as you aren't making a public issue of it. No one has a right to define anyone else's sexual appetites. I said as much. Maybe you should learn to read before flying off the handle.

I'm attracted to women of other races so you got that wrong.

Though as I mentioned earlier I can't recall ever seeing an Eskimo I found attractive, so by your logic at most I'm guilty of being an Eskimophobe.

Though I'm open to the possibility they'd be really hot under all those clothes. Maybe if they laid off the blubber a bit anyway.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

It's Eskimos i'm worried about. I can't recall every being attracted to one.

Well, they certainly aren't hot!

 

[Politesse]

I didn't tell you "who you should be attracted to", I said quite the opposite of that. Your attitudes are obviously racist, but that's your business and yours alone as long as you aren't making a public issue of it. No one has a right to define anyone else's sexual appetites. I said as much. Maybe you should learn to read before flying off the handle.

I'm attracted to women of other races so you got that wrong.

Though as I mentioned earlier I can't recall ever seeing an Eskimo I found attractive, so by your logic at most I'm guilty of being an Eskimophobe.

Though I'm open to the possibility they'd be really hot under all those clothes. Maybe if they laid off the blubber a bit anyway.

It's like you can't read but think you can. Fascinating.

 

[dismal]

I didn't tell you "who you should be attracted to", I said quite the opposite of that. Your attitudes are obviously racist, but that's your business and yours alone as long as you aren't making a public issue of it. No one has a right to define anyone else's sexual appetites. I said as much. Maybe you should learn to read before flying off the handle.

I'm attracted to women of other races so you got that wrong.

Though as I mentioned earlier I can't recall ever seeing an Eskimo I found attractive, so by your logic at most I'm guilty of being an Eskimophobe.

Though I'm open to the possibility they'd be really hot under all those clothes. Maybe if they laid off the blubber a bit anyway.

It's like you can't read but think you can. Fascinating.

Well, lashing out with personal attacks is just how I'd expect someone who displays attitudes of intolerance and bigotry to respond.