# ID the Thug

#### Malintent

Stormy Daniels' lawyer released a police sketch of the person that physically threatened his client about 7 years ago. They are offering $100,000 for information leading to the identification of this person. Details to come at IDtheThug.com (still under construction). #### Jimmy Higgins ##### Contributor It's Ryan Seacrest! #### Angry Floof ##### Tricksy Leftits Staff member I hope this isn't another Unabomber type of sketch where he'll turn out to be not nearly as good looking as that. #### Malintent ##### Veteran Member There is an actor this reminds me of that for the life of me I can't put my finger on.... He played Slavic / Russian thugs in movies... Die Hard, maybe? I can totally hear his voice in my head... thickly. He was always the character that wouldn't even flinch after getting punched in the face, and then gorilla-smashes the protagonist. #### Jimmy Higgins ##### Contributor I hope this isn't another Unabomber type of sketch where he'll turn out to be not nearly as good looking as that. Are you planning on sleeping with him? #### Angry Floof ##### Tricksy Leftits Staff member I hope this isn't another Unabomber type of sketch where he'll turn out to be not nearly as good looking as that. Are you planning on sleeping with him? Is that relevant? #### Jayjay ##### Contributor Stormy Daniels' lawyer released a police sketch of the person that physically threatened his client about 7 years ago. They are offering$100,000 for information leading to the identification of this person. Details to come at IDtheThug.com (still under construction).

View attachment 15417

It's the former WWE wrestler, Edge:

#### Tom Sawyer

##### Super Moderator
Staff member
No, Edge has a beard. The guy in the picture only has stubble, so they're different people.

Also, their clothes aren't at all identical.

#### Jimmy Higgins

##### Contributor
No, Edge has a beard. The guy in the picture only has stubble, so they're different people.

Also, their clothes aren't at all identical.
Edge retired from wrestling 7 years ago, almost to the day. So his beard would have just been started.

#### Tom Sawyer

##### Super Moderator
Staff member
Edge retired from wrestling 7 years ago, almost to the day. So his beard would have just been started.

What was his job after retirement? If his LinkedIn profile lists "Thug for corrupt lawyer", that's a little bit suspicious.

#### starwater

##### Veteran Member
Edge retired from wrestling 7 years ago, almost to the day. So his beard would have just been started.

What was his job after retirement? If his LinkedIn profile lists "Thug for corrupt lawyer", that's a little bit suspicious.

Who also works for the orange wonder.

Staff member

#### Opoponax

##### Veteran Member
Stormy Daniels' lawyer released a police sketch of the person that physically threatened his client about 7 years ago. They are offering \$100,000 for information leading to the identification of this person. Details to come at IDtheThug.com (still under construction).

View attachment 15417

Young Arnold Schwarzenegger. Did he tell her, "If you tawk abouwt thiss, Ah'll be baock"?

#### Jayjay

##### Contributor
Stormy's lawyer says that they have "narrowed it down to a handful of people" they think he might be. And Trump is calling it a con job. This is fun to watch.

#### Jimmy Higgins

##### Contributor
Stormy's lawyer says that they have "narrowed it down to a handful of people" they think he might be. And Trump is calling it a con job. This is fun to watch.
This is quite a circus. Seems appropriate for the douche in the White House.

Stormy: Here is a hand sketch of a guy that assaulted me some 7 years ago.
Trump: Con job! Fake new media! *add another insult*

To just Trump this up a bit more, we need them to actually ID the guy and then he admits to doing it, and it is a former guard of Trump or something. Because that is how these things go with Trump, to the level of WTF?!

#### Opoponax

##### Veteran Member
Stormy's lawyer says that they have "narrowed it down to a handful of people" they think he might be. And Trump is calling it a con job. This is fun to watch.

And I think "con job" means that someone came to the conclusion they hadn't been projecting enough lately. So they dusted off the good old Accuse Them of What We're Actually Doing thing, and voila, "con" is shat from the mouth of the orange powdered fuckstick.

#### Horatio Parker

##### Veteran Member
How about a reality show where Stormy Daniels chooses her ideal thug from a gaggle of hunky candidates?

Thugprentice?

#### ElectEngr

##### Member
How about a reality show where Stormy Daniels chooses her ideal thug from a gaggle of hunky candidates?

Thugprentice?

Maybe on "The Playboy Channel"

Later,
ElectEngr

#### Keith&Co.

##### Contributor
Thugprentice?
Well, for an apprentice thug, we'd have convicted thugs guiding amateurs through an attempted intimidation. A montage of training in body language and voice effects, then film the intimidation of a model or hopeful actress, critique afterwards.
At the end of the season, the surviving candidates intimidate actual porn stars.

#### Horatio Parker

##### Veteran Member
Thugprentice?
Well, for an apprentice thug, we'd have convicted thugs guiding amateurs through an attempted intimidation. A montage of training in body language and voice effects, then film the intimidation of a model or hopeful actress, critique afterwards.
At the end of the season, the surviving candidates intimidate actual porn stars.

"Jamie(or whatever dunno thug names), you got the looks, you walk the walk, but when I have sex with you, "thug" is the last thing I think of. For your own sake, don't threaten anyone. You're fired".

#### Tom Sawyer

##### Super Moderator
Staff member
I dunno about the reality show bit. By the time the tenth one of them bashes her in the legs with a bat to demonstrate how good they are at backing up their threats, she's going to be so bruised and in pain already that she won't be able to properly evaluate their technique and that skews the whole result. Then someone's kicked off who didn't deserve it and you end up with a bunch of fanboys flaming all over Twitter with their nerd rage. Causes more trouble than it's worth, if you ask me.

#### Malintent

##### Veteran Member
It like being a judge in a shit eating contest. By the time its the last contestants' turn, you have had about enough.