• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Jimmy Higgins Election Day Guide

Jimmy Higgins

Contributor
Joined
Jan 31, 2001
Messages
47,061
Basic Beliefs
Calvinistic Atheist
Congratulations! You have survived another unbearable shitty 15 month long General Election slog that we can't apparently escape.. Technically, there are a couple days left, but give yourself a pat on the shoulder for surviving this completely arbitrarily insanely long process that seems to endanger our democracy more than actually progress it.

Due to the overbearing nature of everything that is politics in America, especially these days, it is easy for people to forget how this will go down on Tuesday. So I thought I'd present a short helpful guide.

What you'll need
A web browser with 12 open tabs to CNN, NY Times, and the state BoE of AZ, NC, FL, GA, PA, MI, WI, NH, ME, and IIDB.

Alcohol, a lot of it. Stocking up early is important. If you have a preference depending on your mood, I recommend having stashes for relieved jubilation and resigned depression. If you are a psychopath and you just like watching shit burn, I recommend both as well. If there is a clear winner early, you might get sad, unless Trump is the winner.

Chips, wings, mozzarella sticks, marinara sauce

Timelines of the Canaries
So for some reason, we have polls close at all times of the evening so, with each passing hour, there will be a release of new information. While we wish we could get this done by 7 PM, it isn't that simple. Fuck you the rest of the world saying you can just wait... fuck off. Try having a potential re-election of Trump hanging over your country. And yeah, we have nukes, so you have as much to lose too!

Is there a cheat code when polls close? Short answer is yes. They are called Exit Polls, which are generally very reliable. It is pretty simple. The difference for men weighted by the percent of their votes to women weighted by their percentage, and bam. You know pretty quickly is a state is a real Toss Up, close, or you can stick a fork in it. Usually a +3 is pretty safe.

6:00 to 7:00 PM
The first polls close in who the fuck cares states. These reliable red states haven't voted for a Democrat to be President since the 14th Century*.
* - Okay, Indiana voted for Obama in 2008, but who cares. They have voted for that bloated carcass twice and will likely do it one more time. If Kentucky exit polls imply Trump lost, break out the bourbon, put some steaks on the grill. It is time to party like it is 2008. But keep the steaks chilled, as that isn't particularly likely.

7:00 PM
Virginia, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida are done. Virginia should be blue. South Carolina red. Florida is expected to be reddish purple. Georgia is our first real reliable test. Granted, if Virginia is close, then getting the stone to sharpen the razors wouldn't be too premature. Florida could provide an idea on how much Dobbs is weighing on the election, both in the Referendum and Senate race with Rick "I defrauded Medicare" Scott. Additionally, Trump coat-tails or differentials. How are the Exit Polls for Trump verses Scott?

Georgia is on my list of barely red purple. If exit polls hopefully give us an idea as to which polls got it right.

7:30 PM
Yeah, why not close polls at an odd time. West Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina all close at this time. West Virginia is redder than Chairman Mao, and they'd represent Massachusetts in 1972 if there was a catastrophic blue wave. Ohio is reddish purple these days as the GOP has successfully gerrymandered the state into an Alabama-Lite reddish purple state. If Ohio Exit Polls were +10 Trump, then start getting those depressed drinks going. If you want Trump to win... well... there are rules on this forum I need to abide by. Otherwise, I don't think Ohio helps us. North Carolina will provide additional tea leaves. The polls up to now are +2, +3 to -2, -3. This could help provide us a view of which way the polls should have been interpreted. Obviously, if Harris looks good in the Exit Polls here, optimism will be justified. Of course, the state could have an asterisk of reduced Trump turnout due to the catastrophic hurricane making that DNC $125 billion weather laser worth every penny.

8:00 PM
This will be the huge one. Most of America closes here. Most of the states will be automatic winners for both candidates. The battleground states, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and kind of New Hampshire. Additionally, maybe some help with ME-2. At this point, the Exit Polls will provide us a clear or muddied understanding of what the polls were saying. We might be able to start pounding the alcohol in joy or catatonic depression.

8:30 PM
Who cares!

9:00 PM
At this point, we should be having a great idea of where things stand. Wisconsin and Arizona close. Iowa closes as well. Ann Selzer has been showing Iowa is a tight race and whether this is the last year she is a pollster will be determined at this point. One thing to note with Selzer's polls is the massive disparity between men and women. Again, we'll have a lot of data before Iowa to see if this is actually panning out in the voting booth.

11:00 PM
All that is left are the actual projections by the networks. There are a couple options here. News agencies are declaring winners or not. If they are, we'll know whether we'll be barfing into the toilet with joy or with an uncomfortably high amount of barbiturate.
 
At some point during Tuesday, Trump will declare victory. He won't wait for the polls to close, he's only waiting for numbers to look at least a little favorable to him. When they do he'll announce to his MAGAts that he won so that, if he doesn't continue to an actual win, they're going to scream "but we were winning! The democrats changed the numbers!"
 
I laugh not out of meanness or mockery at anyone here but during this past election cycle I saw a lot of atheists and agnostics here making posts about Trump and the supposed antichrist. And I agree. Trump has many of the characteristics of the biblical antichrist.

Somebody needs to make a movie about this. The antichrist comes as a Trump like figure and only the people don't believe the Bible know the Bible well enough to recognize such a figure as he is because the Christians have become so bat shit insane and shallow.😂

In all seriousness the last 10 years have told me and you a whole lot about the American public. It is dumb but as vicious and callous as it is dumb. It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
 
Last edited:
It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
Not into this whole idea. Trump would deserve whatever he gets, however.
There are times in history where a nations population have to collectively suffer consequences for its choices to avoid making bad ones in the future. I don't want people hurt. I really don't. But sometimes you have to let the little toddler touch the fire on the stove and get a weee burned so as to not touch a bigger fire and get hurt worse.
 
It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
Not into this whole idea. Trump would deserve whatever he gets, however.
There are times in history where a nations population have to collectively suffer consequences for its choices to avoid making bad ones in the future.
That'll sure work out well if Trump ends the democratic process in this country. Good idea.
 
Well, on the brighter side, Harris is one percentage point ahead in Georgia in the most recent poll. There is hope! About 4 million people have already voted in Georgia, more women than men. There is hope!
 
It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
Not into this whole idea. Trump would deserve whatever he gets, however.
There are times in history where a nations population have to collectively suffer consequences for its choices to avoid making bad ones in the future.
That'll sure work out well if Trump ends the democratic process in this country. Good idea.
At worst I doubt he will---at least permanently. Pinochet comes to mind. He did some bad stuff but eventually had to step down. The left learns don't piss the people off on the right or scare people on the right enough off to seek out a Pinochet as a protection racket. The right gets burned in it's own way by the Pinochet figure enough they make sure when he leaves that the country is run well enough for all people the left can't elect and won't want to elect any extremist from their side.

Things are what they are.

And in a way it really was a farce and facade to begin with.
 
Last edited:
Congratulations! You have survived another unbearable shitty 15 month long General Election slog that we can't apparently escape.. Technically, there are a couple days left, but give yourself a pat on the shoulder for surviving this completely arbitrarily insanely long process that seems to endanger our democracy more than actually progress it.
We, the rest of the world thank you for not drowning us in the torrent in the foolishness nonsense that passes as your electoral system. 2020 was bad enough but we have still not fully recovered from 2016.
Please do not do that again. Or we will be forced to keep you all within your porous borders and stew in the pot of your own making.
Due to the overbearing nature of everything that is politics in America, especially these days, it is easy for people to forget how this will go down on Tuesday. So I thought I'd present a short helpful guide.

What you'll need
A web browser with 12 open tabs to CNN, NY Times, and the state BoE of AZ, NC, FL, GA, PA, MI, WI, NH, ME, and IIDB.

Alcohol, a lot of it. Stocking up early is important. If you have a preference depending on your mood, I recommend having stashes for relieved jubilation and resigned depression. If you are a psychopath and you just like watching shit burn, I recommend both as well. If there is a clear winner early, you might get sad, unless Trump is the winner.

Chips, wings, mozzarella sticks, marinara sauce

Timelines of the Canaries
So for some reason, we have polls close at all times of the evening so, with each passing hour, there will be a release of new information. While we wish we could get this done by 7 PM, it isn't that simple. Fuck you the rest of the world saying you can just wait... fuck off. Try having a potential re-election of Trump hanging over your country. And yeah, we have nukes, so you have as much to lose too!
Yes that is puzzling. Have you not heard of GMT?
Is there a cheat code when polls close? Short answer is yes. They are called Exit Polls, which are generally very reliable. It is pretty simple. The difference for men weighted by the percent of their votes to women weighted by their percentage, and bam. You know pretty quickly is a state is a real Toss Up, close, or you can stick a fork in it. Usually a +3 is pretty safe.

6:00 to 7:00 PM
The first polls close in who the fuck cares states. These reliable red states haven't voted for a Democrat to be President since the 14th Century*.
* - Okay, Indiana voted for Obama in 2008, but who cares. They have voted for that bloated carcass twice and will likely do it one more time. If Kentucky exit polls imply Trump lost, break out the bourbon, put some steaks on the grill. It is time to party like it is 2008. But keep the steaks chilled, as that isn't particularly likely.

7:00 PM
Virginia, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida are done. Virginia should be blue. South Carolina red. Florida is expected to be reddish purple. Georgia is our first real reliable test. Granted, if Virginia is close, then getting the stone to sharpen the razors wouldn't be too premature. Florida could provide an idea on how much Dobbs is weighing on the election, both in the Referendum and Senate race with Rick "I defrauded Medicare" Scott. Additionally, Trump coat-tails or differentials. How are the Exit Polls for Trump verses Scott?

Georgia is on my list of barely red purple. If exit polls hopefully give us an idea as to which polls got it right.

7:30 PM
Yeah, why not close polls at an odd time. West Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina all close at this time. West Virginia is redder than Chairman Mao, and they'd represent Massachusetts in 1972 if there was a catastrophic blue wave. Ohio is reddish purple these days as the GOP has successfully gerrymandered the state into an Alabama-Lite reddish purple state. If Ohio Exit Polls were +10 Trump, then start getting those depressed drinks going. If you want Trump to win... well... there are rules on this forum I need to abide by. Otherwise, I don't think Ohio helps us. North Carolina will provide additional tea leaves. The polls up to now are +2, +3 to -2, -3. This could help provide us a view of which way the polls should have been interpreted. Obviously, if Harris looks good in the Exit Polls here, optimism will be justified. Of course, the state could have an asterisk of reduced Trump turnout due to the catastrophic hurricane making that DNC $125 billion weather laser worth every penny.

8:00 PM
This will be the huge one. Most of America closes here. Most of the states will be automatic winners for both candidates. The battleground states, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and kind of New Hampshire. Additionally, maybe some help with ME-2. At this point, the Exit Polls will provide us a clear or muddied understanding of what the polls were saying. We might be able to start pounding the alcohol in joy or catatonic depression.

8:30 PM
Who cares!

9:00 PM
At this point, we should be having a great idea of where things stand. Wisconsin and Arizona close. Iowa closes as well. Ann Selzer has been showing Iowa is a tight race and whether this is the last year she is a pollster will be determined at this point. One thing to note with Selzer's polls is the massive disparity between men and women. Again, we'll have a lot of data before Iowa to see if this is actually panning out in the voting booth.

11:00 PM
All that is left are the actual projections by the networks. There are a couple options here. News agencies are declaring winners or not. If they are, we'll know whether we'll be barfing into the toilet with joy or with an uncomfortably high amount of barbiturate.
Please remember that the sun will still rise in the east, your mum's will still love you.

If you do elect Trump - breathe deeply and slowly and do not do anything rash. And do not call us, we will call you (eventually).
 
I laugh not out of meanness or mockery at anyone here but during this past election cycle I saw a lot of atheists and agnostics here making posts about Trump and the supposed antichrist. And I agree. Trump has many of the characteristics of the biblical antichrist.

Somebody needs to make a movie about this. The antichrist comes as a Trump like figure and only the people don't believe the Bible know the Bible well enough to recognize such a figure as he is because the Christians have become so bat shit insane and shallow.😂

In all seriousness the last 10 years have told me and you a whole lot about the American public. It is dumb but as vicious and callous as it is dumb. It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
The Revelations reference holds in that many of the devoted are also devoted to him, one of the least moral folks on most fronts.
 
I laugh not out of meanness or mockery at anyone here but during this past election cycle I saw a lot of atheists and agnostics here making posts about Trump and the supposed antichrist. And I agree. Trump has many of the characteristics of the biblical antichrist.

Somebody needs to make a movie about this. The antichrist comes as a Trump like figure and only the people don't believe the Bible know the Bible well enough to recognize such a figure as he is because the Christians have become so bat shit insane and shallow.😂

In all seriousness the last 10 years have told me and you a whole lot about the American public. It is dumb but as vicious and callous as it is dumb. It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
The Revelations reference holds in that many of the devoted are also devoted to him, one of the least moral folks on most fronts.
I have friends who keep sending me links to you tube videoes about 'prophets' who claim that Trump is God-fearing and sent by God. I have had to tell them so many times that these videoes are mucking up my mental state. Another reason to avoid YouTube and 'prophets'
 
I prophecy that your mental state will be mucked up 2 times, a time, and a half time to borrow language from Daniel in the Bible. :ROFLMAO:

It will be alright. Be a panmillenialist. It all pans out in the end buddy.
 
For those of you yanks who have not yet voted - how do you choose?
1. Dart board?
2. Spin a wheel?
3. Ouija board?
I will vote in person on Tuesday. I do not anticipate long lines or difficulties in getting to vote. Usually am in/out in under 15 minutes. Actually under 10 but I don’t like to brag. As a bonus, I can see my polling place from my front door, so if there is a line, I’ll just wait at home.
 
I laugh not out of meanness or mockery at anyone here but during this past election cycle I saw a lot of atheists and agnostics here making posts about Trump and the supposed antichrist. And I agree. Trump has many of the characteristics of the biblical antichrist.

Somebody needs to make a movie about this. The antichrist comes as a Trump like figure and only the people don't believe the Bible know the Bible well enough to recognize such a figure as he is because the Christians have become so bat shit insane and shallow.😂

In all seriousness the last 10 years have told me and you a whole lot about the American public. It is dumb but as vicious and callous as it is dumb. It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
The Revelations reference holds in that many of the devoted are also devoted to him, one of the least moral folks on most fronts.
I have friends who keep sending me links to you tube videoes about 'prophets' who claim that Trump is God-fearing and sent by God. I have had to tell them so many times that these videoes are mucking up my mental state. Another reason to avoid YouTube and 'prophets'
Have you consider dared getting new friends? I mean, I get it: I have family members and friends who are die-hard Maggats but we don’t talk politics —because we are related and friends. No one would like to hear/read my response if they tried sending me that shit and in return I don’t talk about how wonderful Harris or other Dems are. At least partly because the best thing about a lot of Dems is that they aren’t Trumpsters.
 
I laugh not out of meanness or mockery at anyone here but during this past election cycle I saw a lot of atheists and agnostics here making posts about Trump and the supposed antichrist. And I agree. Trump has many of the characteristics of the biblical antichrist.

Somebody needs to make a movie about this. The antichrist comes as a Trump like figure and only the people don't believe the Bible know the Bible well enough to recognize such a figure as he is because the Christians have become so bat shit insane and shallow.😂

In all seriousness the last 10 years have told me and you a whole lot about the American public. It is dumb but as vicious and callous as it is dumb. It deserves whatever it gets if it elects Trump again.
The Revelations reference holds in that many of the devoted are also devoted to him, one of the least moral folks on most fronts.
I have friends who keep sending me links to you tube videoes about 'prophets' who claim that Trump is God-fearing and sent by God. I have had to tell them so many times that these videoes are mucking up my mental state. Another reason to avoid YouTube and 'prophets'
Have you consider dared getting new friends? I mean, I get it: I have family members and friends who are die-hard Maggats but we don’t talk politics —because we are related and friends. No one would like to hear/read my response if they tried sending me that shit and in return I don’t talk about how wonderful Harris or other Dems are. At least partly because the best thing about a lot of Dems is that they aren’t Trumpsters.
The worse part is living in Aust. I do not wish to get such videoes. But some people think that I have nothing better to do than watch them. Some friends occasionally make one prefer them to be not so.
 
What would we do if the were like 700 electoral votes one could wn and Trump got 666 of them? :ROFLMAO:

It could happen. The US could make Guam, Puerto Rico, Israel, England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland states of the US one day.:ROFLMAO:
 
What would we do if the were like 700 electoral votes one could wn and Trump got 666 of them? :ROFLMAO:

It could happen. The US could make Guam, Puerto Rico, Israel, England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland states of the US one day.:ROFLMAO:
He could declare that he got 666 electoral votes tomorrow night.
That would be as good as getting them, as long as he repeats it every five minutes for the next four years.
 
Back
Top Bottom