SLD
Veteran Member
Is " buttcheeks" one word or should I spread them apart?
Joke gallery
- Thread starter laughing dog
- Start date
Tigers!
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Woke up with a splitting headache after a night of drinking. That lawnmower is so loud!
I was going to get up but it was too hard. Stuff it.
My neighbour can mow around me.
I was going to get up but it was too hard. Stuff it.
My neighbour can mow around me.
SLD
Veteran Member
Did you know that every single person who confuses correlation with causation ends up dying?
Tigers!
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hyzer
Veteran Member
Did you know that everyone that has ever died did so within 6 months of their birthday….
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Thanksgiving joke:
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The Butterball.
I'll leave now.
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The Butterball.
I'll leave now.
Tigers!
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Don't slam the door on your way out.
I'll leave now.
SLD
Veteran Member
A man goes to a female dentist because he needs a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a large syringe to anesthetize his mouth and jaw. "No way, no needles! I hate needles," the man replied. So the dentist start to hook up a nitrous oxide tank, and the man says again, "No way. I can't do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!"
The dentist smiles and asks him, if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No," he replies, "I'm fine with pills." So she pulls out two blue pills and gives them to him to take, and he does so.
After he swallowed them, he asks, "What pills are these?"
"Viagra," she replied.
"I'll be damned," replied the man, "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer too!"
"It doesn't," she said, "but it'll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth!"
The dentist smiles and asks him, if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No," he replies, "I'm fine with pills." So she pulls out two blue pills and gives them to him to take, and he does so.
After he swallowed them, he asks, "What pills are these?"
"Viagra," she replied.
"I'll be damned," replied the man, "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer too!"
"It doesn't," she said, "but it'll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth!"
SLD
Veteran Member
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception? He toasts the groom
If a cannibal eats a missionary, will he get a taste for religion?
If a cannibal eats a missionary, will he get a taste for religion?
ideologyhunter
Contributor
A man orders 5 shots of whisky at a bar. The barkeep says, "Okay, but what happened to you, man?"
The man says, "I just found out my brother's been lying to me all this time. He's gay, and he's marrying my best friend."
A few days later, the man comes back and orders 10 shots of whisky. The barkeep says, "Okay, what happened?"
The man says, "My son just told me he's gay, and he's been starring in a drag show for the past six months."
A week later, the man comes in and orders 15 shots of whisky. The barkeep says, "I guess no one in your family likes women."
The man says, "No, apparently my wife does."
The man says, "I just found out my brother's been lying to me all this time. He's gay, and he's marrying my best friend."
A few days later, the man comes back and orders 10 shots of whisky. The barkeep says, "Okay, what happened?"
The man says, "My son just told me he's gay, and he's been starring in a drag show for the past six months."
A week later, the man comes in and orders 15 shots of whisky. The barkeep says, "I guess no one in your family likes women."
The man says, "No, apparently my wife does."
ideologyhunter
Contributor
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?
A Cameron Diaz.
A Cameron Diaz.
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Took me a second. Those types are my favorite.