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Let's Hear Your Favorite Insults

 
 
 
I have a coworker who plans to home-school his child because at 4 she's already mastered the pronunciation and use of 'twat-waffle.'

When my kid was that age, he sometimes used 'sock-fucker.' I tried to convince the wife that he'd picked that up at day care. She said that she'd only ever heard submariners use the term. And after two years on a submarine tender, she heard a LOT of submariners use the term. Now there was only one submariner in Kid's life...

In day to day conversation, i try not to use Monty Python if i'm trying to score a hit. It just ends up being an exchange of quoting Monty Python movies or skits. Of course, this can be wonderfully useful if i'm trying to defuse the situation. Suddenly, everyone's got an impression of the scene at the pit of eternal peril...
 
Keith&Co. said:
I have a coworker who plans to home-school his child because at 4 she's already mastered the pronunciation and use of 'twat-waffle.'

When my kid was that age, he sometimes used 'sock-fucker.' I tried to convince the wife that he'd picked that up at day care. She said that she'd only ever heard submariners use the term. And after two years on a submarine tender, she heard a LOT of submariners use the term. Now there was only one submariner in Kid's life...

In day to day conversation, i try not to use Monty Python if i'm trying to score a hit. It just ends up being an exchange of quoting Monty Python movies or skits. Of course, this can be wonderfully useful if i'm trying to defuse the situation. Suddenly, everyone's got an impression of the scene at the pit of eternal peril...
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When my cousin was 3, he used to pronounce Fire Truck, as Fiery Fuck, no matter how times we tried getting him to say it right. He used to proclaim, but I diiiid! I said it, I said it, ooooo, you're gonna make me mad!"

It was hysterical. His parents never got him home schooled, just shoved religion into him to such degree that later in life he sounded like a arrogant twat who oddly couldn't tell if he was being insulted unless a mainstream cussword was used, and then he'd go wide-eyed and stutter about hell. Still hysterically funny, though.
 
DolphinDynasty said:
who oddly couldn't tell if he was being insulted unless a mainstream cussword was used,
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Isn't that the best sort of cousin?!

My cousin, Mark, once ran crying home to his parents because i'd called him 'SUCH a heterosexual.'
His angry mother insisted that i explain the term to him, in front of her and my mother. I guess she meant to shame me.
Mom instantly realized that Aunt Ida didn't know what 'heterosexual' meant, either.
 
ideologyhunter said:
I like the coarse & brutal, as when Patton Oswalt calls a heckler 'a stupid douche-nozzle', but I respond also to the merciless comment made in perfectly acceptable language, as in 'Evidently, you're an amusing person.' (This, said to a sarcastic character in Stage Door.)
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Now you reminded me of "loony biscuit" :D
 
Keith&Co. said:
DolphinDynasty said:
who oddly couldn't tell if he was being insulted unless a mainstream cussword was used,
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Isn't that the best sort of cousin?!

My cousin, Mark, once ran crying home to his parents because i'd called him 'SUCH a heterosexual.'
His angry mother insisted that i explain the term to him, in front of her and my mother. I guess she meant to shame me.
Mom instantly realized that Aunt Ida didn't know what 'heterosexual' meant, either.
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LOL!
 
Elixir said:
DolphinDynasty said:
...stutter about hell...
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You know you're "there" when they... :D
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Yep. Sad really, but true. It's neither a real threat or insult to me to talk about hell, but maybe because I'm aware that if it were real, all the decently moral people would be there for violating whatever thought crime or in just for their unbelief, so I'd be welcomed an surrounded by less abusive people.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mat_(Russian_profanity)

https://www.pri.org/stories/2014-10-08/russian-curses-are-inventive-widely-used-and-banned
[h=1]Russian curses are inventive, widely-used — and banned [/h]
The thing non-Russian speakers don’t really understand about Russian curses, or mat, is that we’re not just talking about your favorite one-syllable curse words here — mat is an entire language unto itself.

Take the word “desk.” Not much you can do with it in English, right? But in Russian, I can “desk” something. I can get super desky and deskify it. I can be the deskiest! Because unlike English, Russian has hundreds of suffixes and prefixes.
“As a result,” University of Chicago linguist Yar Gorbachov tells me, “you could have a whole dictionary filled up with mat words.”
There are actual dictionaries filled with mat words. Paradoxically, the hot-rodded words formed from the four obscene roots (I’ll let you guess what those are…) often turn out not to mean anything obscene at all.

----

Welcome to the wonderful world of Mat.

In the Soviet USSR, the commissars tried to get all people of the USSR to learn Russian. Many people in the Stans purposefully tried not to learn Russian. Except Mat. Everybody speaks Mat.


Linguists rank Russian as one of the top languages for obscene language. Top language is English. Spanish also ranks high, and modern Greek. At the bottom of major languages when it comes to cussing are Japanese and German.
Japanese often do their cursing in English.
 
DolphinDynasty said:
Elixir said:
You know you're "there" when they... :D
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Yep. Sad really, but true. It's neither a real threat or insult to me to talk about hell, but maybe because I'm aware that if it were real, all the decently moral people would be there for violating whatever thought crime or in just for their unbelief, so I'd be welcomed an surrounded by less abusive people.
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As George Bernard Shaw observed "the evil love it in hell - it was made for them!"

Loren Pechtel said:
Elixir said:
you incompressible jizztrumpet
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This one doesn't make sense. Sure that's not supposed to be incomprehensible?
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Elephino... you'd have to ask a Scot. I didn't make them up. Which one would you least like to be called? :)
 
Seen elsewhere, discussing recruits in boot camp:
Favorite quote from my Drill Sergeant "the suns rays travel 93,000,000 miles just to give this planet life and instead those rays fucking hit you, you completely fucking worthless idiot! Apologize to the sun right now!" Private proceeds to yell out "I'M SORRY SUN!" Apologize to the sun ended up being our platoon motto.
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Keith&Co. said:
Seen elsewhere, discussing recruits in boot camp:
Favorite quote from my Drill Sergeant "the suns rays travel 93,000,000 miles just to give this planet life and instead those rays fucking hit you, you completely fucking worthless idiot! Apologize to the sun right now!" Private proceeds to yell out "I'M SORRY SUN!" Apologize to the sun ended up being our platoon motto.
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Every human can eat my shit, not an insult? Go fuck yourself or someone else.
 
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