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Questions For Women

James Brown

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Here's a question for women that I hope doesn't devolve into a stand-off.

To my mind, a front-clasp bra would be easier for a woman to put on and off, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Am I wrong about that, or is there some other reason that most bras are rear-clasp?

It’s the discomfort of the stiff clasp mechanism on your front side where you bend and move.

All clasp mechanisms are inherently bulkier and more stiff than a strip of elastic. So if you put it on the front, you’ll press against it whenever you bring your arms forward (like driving, lifting, typing) and whenever you bend forward (lifting, gardening, reaching). Whereas if that inch-wide mechanism is lying across your flat back, you won’t ever feel it.

In addition to the stiffness, clasp mechanisms are also inherently less airy, so you have a sweat spot that also itches.

Turning the bra around when putting it on is a miniscule effort compared to shifting, pinching and scratching all day. This is true no matter what the weight or boob size is involved.

Thanks. Makes sense.
 

southernhybrid

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I just want to add that every women should dress exactly the way she likes, without any worries about pleasing someone else. A woman doesn't need to please or attract men or to please her partner. Besides that, a good partner is never critical of how a woman dresses. I know that because I have a good partner and in 40 years he has never told me how to dress and he has never criticized my choices in clothing.

I've never criticized the way he dresses either. That's what it's really all about, not why do women do this or that. Women do what they feel is best for them. I like what Rhea said. Despite someone else telling her what to wear, she chooses to wear what she likes and she doesn't care what anyone else thinks about her choices. That's what I'm talking about. An emotionally secure woman with good self esteem doesn't need anyone else's approval for her style choices.
 

Toni

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I just want to add that every women should dress exactly the way she likes, without any worries about pleasing someone else. A woman doesn't need to please or attract men or to please her partner. Besides that, a good partner is never critical of how a woman dresses. I know that because I have a good partner and in 40 years he has never told me how to dress and he has never criticized my choices in clothing.

I've never criticized the way he dresses either. That's what it's really all about, not why do women do this or that. Women do what they feel is best for them. I like what Rhea said. Despite someone else telling her what to wear, she chooses to wear what she likes and she doesn't care what anyone else thinks about her choices. That's what I'm talking about. An emotionally secure woman with good self esteem doesn't need anyone else's approval for her style choices.

I confess I'm a little in awe of Rhea having a personal shopper. I'd have no problem rejecting suggestions but it would be nice to have an objective eye and someone who knows what looks good and what's 'in' for someone my age vs under 25.
 

Rhea

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I confess I'm a little in awe of Rhea having a personal shopper. I'd have no problem rejecting suggestions but it would be nice to have an objective eye and someone who knows what looks good and what's 'in' for someone my age vs under 25.

By "personal shopper," I refer to friends who like to help, based on what they see me choosing for myself. :hysterical:

To one, I remarked, "I really don't like the act of shopping. It is so tedious for me. I wish I could find someone who likes shopping and would just take my money," to which she replied - "I LOVE shopping! You tell me what you want and I will go get it for you! I find bargains!" So I gave her some money and said, "I need shirts and sweaters for work" and a few weeks later a box arrived at my house (she lives several states away) with some fabulous bargains and nice styles that I would never have chosen for myself but that looked nice.

To another I remarked, "I just got a new job and now I need office clothes for the first time in years," and she replied, "Rhea, do not go shopping alone. Take me with you. Promise me you'll take me with you? We'll go to outlets, we'll have lunch, it will be fun. I'll buy you a margarita if you take me with you."
 

Toni

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I confess I'm a little in awe of Rhea having a personal shopper. I'd have no problem rejecting suggestions but it would be nice to have an objective eye and someone who knows what looks good and what's 'in' for someone my age vs under 25.

By "personal shopper," I refer to friends who like to help, based on what they see me choosing for myself. :hysterical:

To one, I remarked, "I really don't like the act of shopping. It is so tedious for me. I wish I could find someone who likes shopping and would just take my money," to which she replied - "I LOVE shopping! You tell me what you want and I will go get it for you! I find bargains!" So I gave her some money and said, "I need shirts and sweaters for work" and a few weeks later a box arrived at my house with some fabulous bargains and nice styles that I would never have chosen for myself but that looked nice.

To another I remarked, "I just got a new job and now I need office clothes for the first time in years," and she replied, "Rhea, do not go shopping alone. Take me with you. Promise me you'll take me with you? We'll go to outlets, we'll have lunch, it will be fun. I'll buy you a margarita if you take me with you."

Still in awe. My late MIL was a like that: she had excellent taste, a good sense of style and a keen eye as to what would and would not look good on a particular person. She bought me a few items I would never have picked for myself but were wonderful. I confess to being nervous about shopping with her because if I admired something, she was inclined to want to buy it for me. Terrible problem, right? But I wasn’t used to that at all. My mother never took me shopping and her tastes ran.....much more pink than mine. And very adverse to spending money—but then, we didn’t have a lot and she had other daughters who were happier to let her pick out their clothes. My MIL had only sons so taking another girl shopping was a treat, even an unfashionable one. We always lived hundreds of miles away from our families so visits were usually centered on things other than shopping.
 

southernhybrid

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I'm glad I'm retired. I wear nothing but skinny jeans and cotton tops, usually from Eddie Bauer. I also love long sweaters, when the weather is just right for them.

My mother and I used to go shopping when I visited her. She always wanted me to use coupons at Macy's. I still have a shirt that I got her to buy for my birthday one year. It wasn't on sale and I think it was very difficult for her to pay full retail. I almost never pay full price for clothing, but I figured since it was my birthday, it was okay to have my mom buy me something special. It's basically a nice t-shirt with long sleeves and lace trim. I have very simple taste in clothing, which is why I'm happy wearing jeans everyday. I stopped wearing dresses by age 50. I gave all of what I had to charity. I kept one pair of dress pants just in case I need to look a little bit dressed up. To each her own.

My late mother in law would just give us her credit card and tell us to buy what we wanted during the last few years of her life. I have a nice dress coat that cost more than I would have paid for a coat. It's a classic style and best of all, it can be washed on the delicate cycle, despite looking like wool. It still looks like new despite being over 15 years old. I rarely wear it now, but I still like it. Maybe I can start calling some of my clothing "vintage". I have a hard time giving some of the older pieces to Goodwill, despite rarely wearing them. One day, when I downsize, they will be donated.

To me, the way to look dressed up, is to wear expensive jewelry with a nice sweater and jeans. That's one of the benefits of being older. You wear whatever you want without any worries. Then again, I wore jeans during the 18 years that I worked as the only nurse in an assisted living facility. The residents seemed to like my casual look. I think it made them feel closer to me, as the atmosphere of the place was very casual. Sometimes wearing a uniform can make it difficult for people to relate to you. Most of my jobs didn't require a nursing uniform. I liked that.
 

Emily Lake

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Interesting bit: As a private 'experiment' the next time we were working alone, I made sure that I also sat with my legs spread really wide. It wasn't immodest: wearing long pants, baggy lab coat, etc. I just made a point of positioning myself so that I took up as much physical space as possible. Didn't change a single other thing about how I did my job or interacted with him. I just made sure that I physically took up as much room as possible.

It was weird: He didn't do that manspreading thing that day. He never did that manspreading thing again with me. Also quit trying to dump extra work on me.

I have no idea why.

How strange. I'm very curious though. I have one neighbor who does this. He even stands with his feet really wide apart, like further than shoulder width. He's an odd duck. Makes me want to try this experiment. :)
 

Emily Lake

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I like loose pants. And I don’t care what people think I look like, honestly.
I used to be VERY skinny and I liked loose pants. Now I am overweight, and I like loose pants.
My professional shopper hates this for me, and always tries to get me to try on the snug pants. “Get one size smaller,” she says, “really.” And the shop-keeper agrees. But I really don’t like that. I like the way men’s pants look. Well, previous style men’s pants. Now they all have the skinny-pant look. Which looks fine on people and I like the way it looks on them, it’s just not what I like for me.


For me it is all about...

It can be really, really, really tough to find a pair of jeans or pants that [...] have convenient and sufficiently deep pockets

Pockets.

LLbean Chinos have great pockets. The fit is not absolutely perfect, but the pockets are. So I buy them.

Oh yes, pockets! I have some work trousers that don't have pockets... but they're parts of a suit, and the jacket has pockets. All of my house clothes and pajamas have pockets. I really don't understand why all clothes don't have pockets. Not that I ever carry things in them, but I always need a place to put my hands.
 

Emily Lake

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Women have to be prepared to do our own hemming. Worse, I have had to explain over and over to a few women why I can't just wear regular sizes. I'm no longer petite in terms of girth but I haven't grown any taller.

Well petite is ONLY height. You can buy Plus sized Petite.
I have trouble with arm-lengths, too.



Unfortunately for me, my metabolism took a nosedive some years ago and I haven't been able to drop pounds I've picked up. Before, I ate like a horse and weighed....under 100 soaking wet. Now, I am much more moderate in my eating habits but alas, although I swore I would never gain weight like a lot of my family members, it was a promise I could not keep.

Feel you. Ditto.

Lol, yes, I feel you both. Age is a bitch.

I always struggle with petites because I have a normal-sized torso, and just have short arms and legs. Petite pants are the right overall length, but the rise is always too short. I end up having to get a larger size and wear them as a lower-rise pant than they're designed for. When I can find them, I really prefer regular cut in a short length. WHBM has a lot of good pants options. I don't have as much trouble with petite shirts, they usually fit pretty good, sometimes they just end up being shorter than they should be on my torso.
 

Emily Lake

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Turning the bra around when putting it on is a miniscule effort compared to shifting, pinching and scratching all day. This is true no matter what the weight or boob size is involved.

I have a friend who grew up without a mom. She's a fair bit younger than me. I went shopping with her for a bra, and she grabbed a bunch of 32-B bras - which I knew were never going to fit her boobs. When she went to try them on, she tried to put the bra on from the front, and was twisting her arms backwards to try to clasp it in back. :rolleyes:

It turned into a bra-fitting lesson. I showed her how to put a bra on with the clasp in front and then turn it around. I also taught her how to test the cup fit, how to do the "jiggle test" and the "bend over" test to make sure she wasn't going to pop out. And I introduced her to full-coverage t-shirt bras, which was eye opening for her. Turns out she was a 32-D, and having the right size was sooooo much more comfortable!

Poor girl. I kind of feel like bra shopping should be taught in middle school, as some sort of girls-day field trip. But I can see so many ways that could go wrong.
 

Loren Pechtel

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Turning the bra around when putting it on is a miniscule effort compared to shifting, pinching and scratching all day. This is true no matter what the weight or boob size is involved.

I have a friend who grew up without a mom. She's a fair bit younger than me. I went shopping with her for a bra, and she grabbed a bunch of 32-B bras - which I knew were never going to fit her boobs. When she went to try them on, she tried to put the bra on from the front, and was twisting her arms backwards to try to clasp it in back. :rolleyes:

If you're flexible enough it works.
 

Toni

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Turning the bra around when putting it on is a miniscule effort compared to shifting, pinching and scratching all day. This is true no matter what the weight or boob size is involved.

I have a friend who grew up without a mom. She's a fair bit younger than me. I went shopping with her for a bra, and she grabbed a bunch of 32-B bras - which I knew were never going to fit her boobs. When she went to try them on, she tried to put the bra on from the front, and was twisting her arms backwards to try to clasp it in back. :rolleyes:

If you're flexible enough it works.

Sure. But why? It's not like the boys have to be contortionists just to get dressed.

Life is hard enough without getting bent out of shape over stupid stuff.
 

Rhea

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If you're flexible enough it works.

Sure. But why? It's not like the boys have to be contortionists just to get dressed.

Life is hard enough without getting bent out of shape over stupid stuff.


Yeah, My initial thought was, yes, I can do that, too, but it was quickly followed by, “but obviously the woman in Emily’s story was not that flexible, so what are we doing, just having a man tell a woman she’s not doing her bra right?”

Yes some people with shoulder flexibity can do that. And if that woman could have, Emily would not have seen her “twisting her arms backward trying to clasp it.”

This is one of those mansplainin’ moments, Loren, when you need to realize, “but of course Emily knows that, and it is not relevant here anyway, and I’m not in possession of any information that those two women in the story did not already know. I should not step and and opine, ‘well, actually,’ here. That would be kind of a dick move and prove their point about ignorant men who think they have all the answers to women’s lives when they don’t.”

(This is a learning moment, Loren. Do you get it? Or does this not register with you?)
 
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Emily Lake

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If you're flexible enough it works.

Sure. But why? It's not like the boys have to be contortionists just to get dressed.

Life is hard enough without getting bent out of shape over stupid stuff.


Yeah, My initial thought was, yes, I can do that, too, but it was quickly followed by, “but obviously the woman in Emily’s story was not that flexible, so what are we doing, just having a man tell a woman she’s not doing her bra right?”

Yes some people with shoulder flexibity can do that. And if that woman could have, Emily would not have seen her “twisting her arms backward trying to clasp it.”

This is one of those mansplainin’ moments, Loren, when you need to realize, “but of course Emily knows that, and it is not relevant here anyway, and I’m not in possession of any information that those two women in the story did not already know. I should not step and and opine, ‘well, actually,’ here. That would be kind of a dick move and prove their point about ignorant men who think they have all the answers to women’s lives when they don’t.”

(This is a learning moment, Loren. Do you get it? Or does this not register with you?)

Oh, she was flexible and could do it... but it was slow and obviously difficult. I showed her how to hook it in front and spin it around, and she was ecstatic that it was sooooo much easier that way.
 

Toni

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Yeah, My initial thought was, yes, I can do that, too, but it was quickly followed by, “but obviously the woman in Emily’s story was not that flexible, so what are we doing, just having a man tell a woman she’s not doing her bra right?”

Yes some people with shoulder flexibity can do that. And if that woman could have, Emily would not have seen her “twisting her arms backward trying to clasp it.”

This is one of those mansplainin’ moments, Loren, when you need to realize, “but of course Emily knows that, and it is not relevant here anyway, and I’m not in possession of any information that those two women in the story did not already know. I should not step and and opine, ‘well, actually,’ here. That would be kind of a dick move and prove their point about ignorant men who think they have all the answers to women’s lives when they don’t.”

(This is a learning moment, Loren. Do you get it? Or does this not register with you?)

Oh, she was flexible and could do it... but it was slow and obviously difficult. I showed her how to hook it in front and spin it around, and she was ecstatic that it was sooooo much easier that way.

I almost always unhook mine by reaching around my back but it takes more time to hook it by reaching around.

For the inevitable query from one of the male posters, let me pre-emptively make this offer:

1. Submit your bra band size to me (view bra size chart online for instructions). I do not need a cup size, just the band size.
2. Provide me with a mailing address and I will personally purchase and mail you a brand new bra FREE OF CHARGE so that you can practice a bit and then video your expertise at hooking a bra behind your back rather than hooking it in front and turning the bra around to the front after you've hooked it.
3. Of course, you will be expected to submit video for proof of expertise.

DM me mailing address and measurement.

I mean, I do get it. It isn't something most men are accustomed to doing. I asked men questions about jock straps and cups.

Of course, I believed what they told me about how they fit, how comfortable/uncomfortable they were, whether it was possible to actually run or climb a tree without your penis getting in the way, etc.
 

Emily Lake

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Honestly, I kind of wish that for just six months, men started bleeding out of their dicks for a week each month, with horrible abdominal cramps and backaches, and that their balls were glued to their abdomens so that they stuck out in front and everyone could always see them through their clothes.

i think we'd start seeing some real social changes after the first month... but I want it to carry on for another five months, just to make sure the lesson sticks.
 

WAB

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Honestly, I kind of wish that for just six months, men started bleeding out of their dicks for a week each month, with horrible abdominal cramps and backaches, and that their balls were glued to their abdomens so that they stuck out in front and everyone could always see them through their clothes.

i think we'd start seeing some real social changes after the first month... but I want it to carry on for another five months, just to make sure the lesson sticks.

Nanner nanner nanner...nanner nanner nanner...

:p
 

Toni

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Honestly, I kind of wish that for just six months, men started bleeding out of their dicks for a week each month, with horrible abdominal cramps and backaches, and that their balls were glued to their abdomens so that they stuck out in front and everyone could always see them through their clothes.

i think we'd start seeing some real social changes after the first month... but I want it to carry on for another five months, just to make sure the lesson sticks.

I won't take credit for this as my original thought but don't you think that if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament?

And what woman hasn't fantasized about a man pushing a full term baby out of his penis?
 

Loren Pechtel

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Honestly, I kind of wish that for just six months, men started bleeding out of their dicks for a week each month, with horrible abdominal cramps and backaches, and that their balls were glued to their abdomens so that they stuck out in front and everyone could always see them through their clothes.

i think we'd start seeing some real social changes after the first month... but I want it to carry on for another five months, just to make sure the lesson sticks.

Ouch!! They're easy enough to bump as it is, out in front would be horrible. Nobody would see them because guys would wear something like an athletic cup.
 
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