Seduction, pickup, PUA, relationships, etc

[excreationist]

In the early 2000s on IIDB I posted a picture of the following book but I got in trouble....

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed

Self published by author Ross Jeffries. No ISBN. A Down and Dirty Guide to Dating and Seduction for the Man Who's Fed Up with Being Mr. N...

www.goodreads.com

I haven't read that book but I think it uses hypnotic type language like this:
http://www.pickupguide.com/layguide/patterning.htm (Patterning explained)

Over the years I've consumed a huge number of videos, audios (including interviews), ebooks, pickup video games, etc. There is indirect (e.g. Mystery) and direct (e.g. David X), etc.

Here is a taste of it from a show called "Choose Your Own Adventure"



Here is the makeover the writer Neil Strauss had when he joined the seduction community. He ended up writing a book about it called "The Game" where he became a very successful PUA (pickup artist) called "Style".

There are some materials aimed at "shy guys". Some are not shallow and recommend being more open minded about the appearance of the woman. But I had extremely high standards a lot of the time until my late 20s. I had been very self-confident at times but then I felt like a creep. The ebook "Without Embarrassment" helped quite a bit. About the first time I'd had mutual attraction or went on a date/coffee or held hands, etc, was at the age of 29. There were some problems but then I eventually married her. I recommend Dr John Gottman's marriage materials.

I've found that some people feel quite offended when I recommend them resources like these....

BTW here is a very different approach to what I've been talking about but I found it entertaining:
"How to not fail at life (quit bitching about the bitches edition)"

imgur.com

Discover the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, entertaining gifs, inspiring stories, viral videos, and so much more from users.

imgur.com

Also I didn't learn about the importance of eye contact until I read the book "Body Language" as a teenager. Then in my 20s I learnt to role play on my own... I'd use toys and pretend they were different characters. I also didn't properly understand "banter" until my 20s.

In the year 2000 I also read a website called "HOW-2 Meet Women The Shy Man's Guide to Relationships" by Cartaphilus

At the time I still wanted perfect looking women but some shy guys might find this chapter helpful....

Chapter 3 - Challenging the Conventional Wisdom

Popular culture depicts a sleek, long legged, big-breasted, nubile blonde as the ideal love partner... just the type of fantasy woman who would turn up her nose at a shy man, and why not, as she could choose from any number of ruggedly handsome socially adept men... These are the beautiful people, a world unto themselves, unapproachable, narcissistic, smug, and far removed from reality. Shy men are well advised to stay clear of this particular crowd.

Consider instead women outside the mainstream. Fellow social outcasts, they are real people, human beings who have had to grapple with life's hardships, to endure pain, to choke on embarrassment, to feel the lash of rejection... just as you have. Struggling with problems, rebounding from failure, learning by necessity to fight - all this develops the personality, forces one to grow, to become fully human, to become capable of loving and worthy of being loved.

"Ugly" women glow with a serene inner beauty. Their faces are a study in rococo sculpture, an unfamiliar language of landscape and form, an intricate and convoluted roadmap of life itself. Their bodies hold promise of hidden delights. Their spirits reach out in too-long denied explosive passion.

Fat women are round and cuddly. Lush and sensuous, warm and accepting, they radiate love. Their endless flowing curves, impossible to encompass save by caress, express the very essence of femaleness. Soft and yielding, ever so much more squeezable than their sharp-edged bony sisters, they submerge you in their embrace, their embrace, oh, so sweet, the Primeval Ocean, the source of life.

Older women make better lovers, as celebrated in song and folklore. Their life skills uplift shy youthful lovers past barriers of fear and inexperience. Unexcelled as nurturers and teachers, they bestow patience and understanding. They care.

Handicapped women overflow with boundless love. Forging vast inner resources to cope with physical infirmity, they infuse strength annealed with compassion into a relationship. Having anguished, but not shattered, flamed but not burned, cried but not despaired, they bear hope and healing to the fortunate men who find them.

Women of different races and cultures blend an aura of the exotic with a tinge of the forbidden. Diversity adds color to a relationship, and a touch of the strange lends spice and excitement to the flowering of intimacy.

You may want a conventionally beautiful woman hanging on your arm, one you could proudly show off to friends and family as a mark of personal achievement, as a status symbol. What you need is closeness and honesty in an emotionally supportive relationship. Look for a real woman, a woman who, like yourself, has experienced pain and rejection because she does not conform to society's standards of appearance. Look for a woman whose beauty is more than skin-deep.

Thoughts?

 

[rousseau]

Focusing on 'unattractive' women is an odd way of putting it. I'd re-word it to focusing on character first and appearance second, because character is literally more important to the success of your relationship and the quality of the life you'll lead. Beautiful women abound who would make a terrible life partner.

In my experience dating advice begins and ends with not being a creep who makes women uncomfortable. If you can do that it's really not that hard to find a sustainable and fulfilling relationship.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

In my experience dating advice begins and ends with not being a creep who makes women uncomfortable. If you can do that it's really not that hard to find a sustainable and fulfilling relationship.

In other words, you already have all the other things that matter.

 

[excreationist]

Focusing on 'unattractive' women is an odd way of putting it.

For me it involved being open to non-super hot women.... and eventually realising that hot women would be a lot more in demand.

I'd re-word it to focusing on character first and appearance second,

Chapter 3 seemed to be talking about their character....

because character is literally more important to the success of your relationship and the quality of the life you'll lead. Beautiful women abound who would make a terrible life partner.

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife ..... Get an ugly girl to marry you"

In my experience dating advice begins and ends with not being a creep who makes women uncomfortable. If you can do that it's really not that hard to find a sustainable and fulfilling relationship.

Well I was indeed a creep who made women uncomfortable. At first I didn't realise it but then had a lot of rejections, etc.

 

[J842P]

PUA dudes are a bunch of con artists, praying on lonely, socially awkward guys by telling them to act like psychopaths to try to pick up chicks. It's really just the worst thing imaginable.

 

[excreationist]

PUA dudes are a bunch of con artists, praying on lonely, socially awkward guys by telling them to act like psychopaths to try to pick up chicks. It's really just the worst thing imaginable.

On the 2 seasons of "The Pickup Artist" the clueless contestants are taught Mystery's indirect techniques... I guess a lot of viewers would become interested in those techniques....


Though I thought the video in the original post was reasonable...

 

[excreationist]

BTW I agree with this advice about not going after your "dream girl"

 

[excreationist]

PUA dudes are a bunch of con artists, praying on lonely, socially awkward guys by telling them to act like psychopaths to try to pick up chicks. It's really just the worst thing imaginable.

I think the worst part is "canned stories" - on The Pickup Artist they taught the contestants to tell those stories to demonstrate higher value, etc - e.g. that they had a friend who was a plus-size model..... or that there was some crazy fight supposedly going on outside the club....

 

[Jarhyn]

You cannot get around "having the things that actually matter".

The whole job of anyone who is worth wanting to want you is to decide whether you have those things.

If you seek to have them want you, and not have the things they want, you seek to lie to them. This is creepy. It is worse even than not having what is wanted.

People have to figure out the things that matter and do those things. Usually in that set of things is "accept that sex may never happen and does not need to with this person."

I wish anyone who wishes to do creepy bullshit to engineer people to bed with them abject failure and humiliation, at any rate.

It is gross to merely taint oneself with such knowledge because it will hang like a pall and cloud over the authenticity of any relationship you may find if not carefully disclosed at an early point. I will not burn the book, but I would write on the placard of it's unlocked case that such a book as contained such knowledge would quite possibly evoke such a cost on the reader.

 

[excreationist]

Another dishonest thing is "false time constraints" e.g.

We can only stay for a minute because I have to rejoin my friends

You know what, if I didn't have to go right now... Which I do... I would -

Ok there's a shot waiting for me so I can only stay a sec

 

[excreationist]

This is from a seduction community:

What is your MBTI (Myers-Briggs personality profile) type?
INTJ 18.2%
INTP * 13.7%
ENTP 10.1%
ENTJ 9.2%
INFP 8.3%
ENFP 7.9%
ESTJ 5.5%
INFJ 5.2%
ENFJ 4.2%
ISTP 3.9%
ISTJ 3.9%
ESTP 3.1%
ESFP 2%
ISFP 1.8%
ISFJ 1.6%
ESFJ 1.4%

Votes: 4,457

 

[ZiprHead]

There are seduction communities???

Okay, that's creepy.

 

[excreationist]

There are seduction communities???

Okay, that's creepy.

Yes online ones - and there are also "lairs" that can meet up in person....

Each lair has a community board where guys discussed women.
Every now and then a lair would get together, either to go out clubbing, or to listen to a visiting PUA speaker.

 

[excreationist]

BTW about "The Pickup Artist" (see video in post #6)

Mystery's blonde friend Tara says in S1E2:

Mystery and I have been friends for a while and at first it was like so you teach men how to get women into bed. But it's really not about that. I mean all of these guys they want to really find someone special.... and Mystery's method helps people do that.

I guess "someone special" is code for being very attractive. (and maybe more) Though there are only so many very attractive women to go around....

 

[none]

I don't know what kinda "movies" you are allowed to watch....some beg to differ, literally