Jimmy Higgins
Contributor
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2001
- Messages
- 44,083
- Basic Beliefs
- Calvinistic Atheist
In Galaxy Far, Far, Away, and little longer ago as it was, a former member of the Empire military is trying to get a job.
Interviewer: So, we see you haven't held a job in the last couple of years.
Hija: Well, I had served in the Imperial Military for a decent amount of time, and after the Death Star thing, I needed to step back and do some soul searching.
Interviewer: The loss of the Death Star was a pretty hard day for many. I lost four from my family and dozens of friends that day.
Hija: Yeah...
Interviewer: Yeah, so about that, you list yourself as having served in the Imperial Military for several years, but you don't actually list what you did.
Hija: I umm... served in many positions, here and there.
Interviewer: The Imperial Military definitely has a lot of positions. Which is why I asked, because saying one was in the military could mean just about anything. What branch did you serve in.
Hija: ... the Imperial Navy.
Interviewer: Wow. That is pretty impressive. Serving in that, even working in a Canteen is a pretty big deal. I was actually in the Imperial Navy myself.
Hija: Great, guess there is probably millions of us out there.
Interviewer: Definitely a lot of ships out there. Which one did you serve on?
Hija: ....
Interviewer: ....
Hija: The *unintelligible*.
Interviewer: Excuse me, the what?
Hija: The Deva*untelligible*
Interviewer: Sorry, still not catching that.
Hija: The Devastator.
Interviewer: No way! I was on the Devestator!
Hija: Really... oh goody... *eyes looking back and forth*
Interviewer: True story, I was actually on it the day they boarded the rebel ship with the Princess on it.
Hija: Oh crap.
Interviewer: I was in the tech portion of the crew, you know, the ones that kept the computers going.
Hija: I'm going to throw up.
Interviewer: You know, now that you mention it, there was something else odd that day. An escape pod was ejected from the Corvette we captured, and it contained the droids with the plans that'd be used to destory the Death Star and all my family and friends.
Hija: *visibily sweating* *nods*
Interviewer: And it was detected, but no one fired on it, for some reason. I mean imagine, the guy that detected it, and fired... and the Empire defeats that rebel scum.
Hija: Yeah... imagine... only if...
Interviewer: So, where did you serve on the Devestator?
Hija: I was a *unintellible*.
Interviewer: Didn't make that out, you know if you are going to work for us, you'll need to work on those communication ski....
Hija: I was a Gunner.
Interviewer: ...
Hija: ...
Interviewer: ....
Hija: *nervous smile*
Interviewer: ....
Hija: ,,,
Interviewer: A gunner?
Hija: Yeah.
Interviewer: Port side gunner?
Hija: *tears coming to eyes* *gulp* Yes.
Interviewer: Worked under Gunnary Captain Bolvan.
Hija: *looking for eject button seat* Yes.
Interviewer: I see...
Hija: ...
Interviewer: ....
Hija: ...
Interviewer: Meh... it isn't like you'd have hit them anyway... you were in the Imperial Military. Christ... if we missed only 25% fewer shots, we'd have brought the Rebels to submission by the end of the First Act. But god help us if we needed to actually suppress something. It was a miracle the Death Star ever hit a target.
Hija: *relief*
Interviewer: Yeah, don't worry 'bout it. You'll feel right at home here at Comcast. Welcome aboard.
Interviewer: So, we see you haven't held a job in the last couple of years.
Hija: Well, I had served in the Imperial Military for a decent amount of time, and after the Death Star thing, I needed to step back and do some soul searching.
Interviewer: The loss of the Death Star was a pretty hard day for many. I lost four from my family and dozens of friends that day.
Hija: Yeah...
Interviewer: Yeah, so about that, you list yourself as having served in the Imperial Military for several years, but you don't actually list what you did.
Hija: I umm... served in many positions, here and there.
Interviewer: The Imperial Military definitely has a lot of positions. Which is why I asked, because saying one was in the military could mean just about anything. What branch did you serve in.
Hija: ... the Imperial Navy.
Interviewer: Wow. That is pretty impressive. Serving in that, even working in a Canteen is a pretty big deal. I was actually in the Imperial Navy myself.
Hija: Great, guess there is probably millions of us out there.
Interviewer: Definitely a lot of ships out there. Which one did you serve on?
Hija: ....
Interviewer: ....
Hija: The *unintelligible*.
Interviewer: Excuse me, the what?
Hija: The Deva*untelligible*
Interviewer: Sorry, still not catching that.
Hija: The Devastator.
Interviewer: No way! I was on the Devestator!
Hija: Really... oh goody... *eyes looking back and forth*
Interviewer: True story, I was actually on it the day they boarded the rebel ship with the Princess on it.
Hija: Oh crap.
Interviewer: I was in the tech portion of the crew, you know, the ones that kept the computers going.
Hija: I'm going to throw up.
Interviewer: You know, now that you mention it, there was something else odd that day. An escape pod was ejected from the Corvette we captured, and it contained the droids with the plans that'd be used to destory the Death Star and all my family and friends.
Hija: *visibily sweating* *nods*
Interviewer: And it was detected, but no one fired on it, for some reason. I mean imagine, the guy that detected it, and fired... and the Empire defeats that rebel scum.
Hija: Yeah... imagine... only if...
Interviewer: So, where did you serve on the Devestator?
Hija: I was a *unintellible*.
Interviewer: Didn't make that out, you know if you are going to work for us, you'll need to work on those communication ski....
Hija: I was a Gunner.
Interviewer: ...
Hija: ...
Interviewer: ....
Hija: *nervous smile*
Interviewer: ....
Hija: ,,,
Interviewer: A gunner?
Hija: Yeah.
Interviewer: Port side gunner?
Hija: *tears coming to eyes* *gulp* Yes.
Interviewer: Worked under Gunnary Captain Bolvan.
Hija: *looking for eject button seat* Yes.
Interviewer: I see...
Hija: ...
Interviewer: ....
Hija: ...
Interviewer: Meh... it isn't like you'd have hit them anyway... you were in the Imperial Military. Christ... if we missed only 25% fewer shots, we'd have brought the Rebels to submission by the end of the First Act. But god help us if we needed to actually suppress something. It was a miracle the Death Star ever hit a target.
Hija: *relief*
Interviewer: Yeah, don't worry 'bout it. You'll feel right at home here at Comcast. Welcome aboard.