Jimmy Higgins
Contributor
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2001
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- Calvinistic Atheist
PHOENIX, AZ -- The recent audit of the 2020 election being performed by Cyber Ninjas, a company out of Florida with no auditing experience, has been plagued with countless technical and scheduling issues. Citing missing databases that weren't actually missing was also causing some concern that a true partisan audit of the 2020 election in Arizona wasn't going to be possible. This has led to a transition of reviewing the ballots with workers to the CEO of Cyber Ninjas using a magic 8-ball to determine the legitimacy of the election.
"Okay, let's get this over with," noted the Cyber Ninja CEO on a conference call. "Was the election in Arizona fair? ... Seems to be true?
"Let's try that again. Did the Democrats cheat in the 2020 Election?.... All signs point to no. Damn it! Third time is the charm...
"Did Donald Trump win Arizona in 2020? Certainly not?!!"
The conference call connection broke abruptly. A few minutes later, it was up again and the CEO indicated that the Magic 8-Ball had indeed confirmed that there was malfeasance in the 2020 election. When pressed about the first three questions and answers, he noted that it needed to be calibrated as it was just taken out of the box. When further pressed, the CEO indicated that "maybe" the Magic 8-Ball wasn't the "most accurate method" for determining the presence of election fraud in the 2020 General Election.
"Okay, let's get this over with," noted the Cyber Ninja CEO on a conference call. "Was the election in Arizona fair? ... Seems to be true?
"Let's try that again. Did the Democrats cheat in the 2020 Election?.... All signs point to no. Damn it! Third time is the charm...
"Did Donald Trump win Arizona in 2020? Certainly not?!!"
The conference call connection broke abruptly. A few minutes later, it was up again and the CEO indicated that the Magic 8-Ball had indeed confirmed that there was malfeasance in the 2020 election. When pressed about the first three questions and answers, he noted that it needed to be calibrated as it was just taken out of the box. When further pressed, the CEO indicated that "maybe" the Magic 8-Ball wasn't the "most accurate method" for determining the presence of election fraud in the 2020 General Election.
