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Ted Cruz vs. The Space Pirates

 
 
 
Cheerful Charlie

Cheerful Charlie

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https://futurism.com/the-byte/ted-cruz-space-force-pirates

Shiver me timbers! During a hearing Tuesday of the Subcommittee on Aviation and Space U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) argued that a Space Force is necessary to ward off space pirates.

“Pirates threaten the open seas, and the same is possible in space,” he said during his opening statements. Since “the ancient Greeks first put to sea,” Cruz argued, we’ve recognized the “necessity to protect waterborne traffic and commerce from bad actors.”

And now, he says, it’s time for the Space Force to do the same in space.

...

It is so reassuring that somebody in Washington is dealing sternly with the most pressing real world problems facing planet Earth.
 
Cheerful Charlie said:
https://futurism.com/the-byte/ted-cruz-space-force-pirates

Shiver me timbers! During a hearing Tuesday of the Subcommittee on Aviation and Space U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) argued that a Space Force is necessary to ward off space pirates.

“Pirates threaten the open seas, and the same is possible in space,” he said during his opening statements. Since “the ancient Greeks first put to sea,” Cruz argued, we’ve recognized the “necessity to protect waterborne traffic and commerce from bad actors.”

And now, he says, it’s time for the Space Force to do the same in space.

...

It is so reassuring that somebody in Washington is dealing sternly with the most pressing real world problems facing planet Earth.
Click to expand...

These kinds of bullshit departments are always given to people you want to reward, but you just know they'll fuck up anything important they come close to. All this tells us is that, whoever appointed him (Trump?), doesn't trust him further than he can throw him
 
We need a space force... to protect us from a non-existing problem... a problem that may never exist for mankind... but if we are lucky enough to advance technologically... it'll be quite a while.
 
Ted Cruz could be worrying about global warming. Ted Cruz could be worrying about millions of Americans who lack adequate health care. ted Cruz could be worrying about any number of real problems in America. But nooooooooooo! It's space pirates.

And now as social media explodes with laughter, many WTFs and general derision aimed at Senator Cruz, he's getting pissy about the predictable response he's getting.

For the next 5 1/2 years of his term in office, he will be associated with space pirates and will never live this down. Senator Space Pirate Hunter Ted Cruz.
 
I'm in favor of the space force just because it sounds so cool.

SPAAAACE FOOOORCE!

Pew pew pew!

Watch out, it's the SPACE FORCE!
 
I'd join the space pirates. Sounds a lot cooler than SPACE FORCE.

Plus, I'd never have to DO anything. The SPACE FORCE is being created just for the possibility that I might, one day, I might fly my PIRATE SPACE SHIP that's imaginary at the moment, to threaten to raid the interplanetary commerce that doesn't exist, to profit on the SPACE BLACK MARKET that doesn't exist, and spend money on wine, women and surplus space suits back at my SPACE PIRATE BASE...

Just post a youtube every so often, wearing my SPACE eye patch and speaking SPACE pirate...
 
1. Fifteen men or women, on a dead man's locker
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Drink and outgassing had done for the others
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The mate was laid by the bosun's laptop
The bosun brained with a coolant stop
And cookie's throat was marked in much the same way, though probably by a left-handed assailant
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men, and women, and a few in transition. No judgment!
Like break o'day in an orbital casino
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2

2. Fifteen men and women of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The skipper lay with his nob in an expanding globe of blood, floating in the zero-gravity
Where the scullion's violence was his main depravity
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the pristine stars
Shone down on withered, dried up eyes
In hourly sunset and another hour to sunrise
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
 
Ted Cruz, fearless space pirate hunter, thinks that when we start mining asteroids that rogue nations may resort to piracy. That is his great concern and reason why we must spend money on the great and magnificent Space Force. Really!

Meanwhile, to Cruz's displeasure, the internet and cable TV comedians are dog piling him mercilessly.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-space-pirates_n_5cdcfddfe4b0b4728ba30c72
 
Pirates are the scourge of the Gemini sector.

maxresdefault.jpg
 
I think "Space Pirates" was the title of a porn movie I saw in the eighties.
 
Perhaps Cruz read Piers Anthony's 'Bio of a Space Tyrant: Refugee' and thought it was a depiction of the real near future. LOL.

The story:
Follows Hope and his family's flight from their home on Callisto to Jupiter. Hope's family sets out in a "space bubble" with many other refugees. The group is attacked repeatedly by space pirates, and most of the adults are raped, killed, or kidnapped by the end of the story.
 
Slightly reworded for added eloquence, I was once told (here on this forum, going by whatever name it was at the time) that it doesn’t matter why we do what’s right so long as what we do is right.

To that end, I submit that we separate the what from the why. What it is that he suggests, ought to be evaluated, independent of the reasoning he gives; instead, evaluate the decision through a cost benefit analysis. It might yield (and of course, might not) yield a compelling reason to create a space force—as opposed to a mere comical reason to laugh. Who knows, Neil Degrasse Tyson might be proud.
 
Keith&Co. said:
1. Fifteen men or women, on a dead man's locker
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Drink and outgassing had done for the others
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The mate was laid by the bosun's laptop
The bosun brained with a coolant stop
And cookie's throat was marked in much the same way, though probably by a left-handed assailant
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men, and women, and a few in transition. No judgment!
Like break o'day in an orbital casino
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2

2. Fifteen men and women of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The skipper lay with his nob in an expanding globe of blood, floating in the zero-gravity
Where the scullion's violence was his main depravity
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the pristine stars
Shone down on withered, dried up eyes
In hourly sunset and another hour to sunrise
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Click to expand...

You spelled litre wrong ;)
 
Patooka said:
Keith&Co. said:
1. Fifteen men or women, on a dead man's locker
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Drink and outgassing had done for the others
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The mate was laid by the bosun's laptop
The bosun brained with a coolant stop
And cookie's throat was marked in much the same way, though probably by a left-handed assailant
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men, and women, and a few in transition. No judgment!
Like break o'day in an orbital casino
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2

2. Fifteen men and women of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
The skipper lay with his nob in an expanding globe of blood, floating in the zero-gravity
Where the scullion's violence was his main depravity
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the pristine stars
Shone down on withered, dried up eyes
In hourly sunset and another hour to sunrise
Yo ho ho and a liter of O2
Click to expand...

You spelled litre wrong ;)
Click to expand...

That's Amreicans for you.
 
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