Tell me a sentence you could both say during sex and at a job interview.

[ZiprHead]

Tell me a sentence you could both say during sex and at a job interview.

 

[Patooka]

This isn't as stressful as I first thought.

 

[jonatha]

I'm inexperienced, but if you give me a chance I'm sure I can do the job.

 

[DrZoidberg]

"Those are some really big hooters"

If you are applying for a job at an owl farm

 

[Keith&Co.]

"Sorry, it's just weird doing this without a camera set up."


"Can I ask how you came to pick me?"



"I just want to be sure I get your name right for the thank-you card."

 

[bilby]

I have demonstrated ability in this area, as my references can confirm.

 

[Politesse]

"Your references list was most impressive, but I'm concerned about how many contracts you took during such a short time period. Can we have a conversation about follow-through?"

 

[AirPoh]

It's a specialty of mine. I'm sure you'll find it very valuable.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh my God. OH my God. OH MY GOD! YES!

- - - Updated - - -

Are we done here?

 

[Keith&Co.]

"Will you PLEASE stop checking your phone!?!?"

 

[Thomas II]

You came on top!

 

[Atheos]

"I'm really exited about this and can start immediately."

"I think I'm a perfect fit to fill this for you."

 

[Keith&Co.]

I didn't think you were allowed to ask if I was gay?

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Are there any other slots you need me to fill?

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

This position is perfect for me.

My lack of experience will allow you to teach me how you want things done.

This is my dream job.

I can work alone, but I do best as part of a group.

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

I'm a people person.

 

[steve_bank]

This place fits me like a glove.
It feels like a good fit.
Please, please, oh please.... I'm desperate I really need it.

 

[Patooka]

"I'm pretty flexible when it comes to that"
"I always keep my area clean"
"i'm pretty good at both giving and following directions"

 

[ideologyhunter]

If I might ask, does this pay well?

 

[Politesse]

Yes, I believe that my degree in philosophy is relevant to this appointment. Let me explain...

 

[Keith&Co.]

I'm Batman!

...because 9 times out of ten, in both settings, you get identical responses. Like, you're asked to leave.
Or, 'how did you get in here?'
Or 'Is that MY cape?'

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Sounds like a good idea.

 

[OLDMAN]

I can see myself doing this for the next five years..

 

[ZiprHead]

I'm Batman!

...because 9 times out of ten, in both settings, you get identical responses. Like, you're asked to leave.
Or, 'how did you get in here?'
Or 'Is that MY cape?'

"Jen... Relashuuuns..."

 

[Playball40]

How much does it pay?

 

[ZiprHead]

I work well under pressure.

 

[Atheos]

I'd like to come again soon.

 

[Thomas II]

It's my pleasure!

That really made my day!

 

[Keith&Co.]

No, we're not going to talk about jet fuel and steel beams right now.


At Yale, I used to give lectures on this.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I'm over qualified in the technical aspects but I might need other support from time to time.

 

[bilby]

I am comfortable working one on one, or as part of a larger team, and I am also able to work solo and unsupervised if required.

 

[WAB]

I usually like to take my time to do things right, but when the situation calls for it, I can really move my ass.

 

[DrZoidberg]

"Since getting my criminal record I've bettered myself. You don't need to worry that I will do it again".

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

That's a very generous benefits package. Does it come with insurance?

 

[Keith&Co.]

When can you start?


Um, we don't typically see someone using their Mom as a reference.

 

[thebeave]

What is your bathroom break policy?

 

[AirPoh]

[Double fail]

I can start in three weeks.

 

[Atheos]

So I guess I'll need to come in the rear?

 

[SLD]

I am sure I can handle a 40 hour work week.

 

[Politesse]

Before you unseal the background check, I'd like to provide some context for some of the things you're about to see.

 

[Rhea]

I’m very creative and I have a lot of energy.
I have a lot of experience in heat transfer.
Experimentation is something I’ve always enjoyed.
Yes, I can travel.
In order to reach any conclusion, you need to repeat it many times.

 

[ZiprHead]

I enjoy working up a good sweat in warm, moist environments.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I'm really excited about the benefits of this position.




I thought there would be donuts?

 

[ZiprHead]

I'm really excited about the benefits of this position.




I thought there would be donuts?

There is all the pie you can eat.

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Does the job come with dental?

 

[Keith&Co.]

The urinalysis is strictly a formality...

 

[ruby sparks]

'Would you like to see the size of my cock?'

 

[Keith&Co.]

'Would you like to see the size of my cock?'

I must assume applying for a job in animal husbandry, fowl-specific?

 

[ideologyhunter]

Or a porn shoot at a Super 8 in Youngstown.

 

[ruby sparks]

'Would you like to see the size of my cock?'

I must assume applying for a job in animal husbandry, fowl-specific?

Yes. Or, as ideologyhunter noted, a job in the porn industry. Or any job in fact, if the interviewer is (or interviewers are) hot.

Understand that I'm not saying that I'm 100% confident it'll always or necessarily be guaranteed to enhance my chances of getting the job, especially if it's not one of those first two. The PC brigade have ruined certain things of late.

But sometimes, you just have to play to your strengths. If the interview is going badly, for instance, I may have nothing much to lose by taking the risk of revealing what I like to call my ace in the hole.

 

[Thomas II]

'Would you like to see the size of my cock?'

I must assume applying for a job in animal husbandry, fowl-specific?

Or a manwhore?