Trump Not Informed on Niger because of Fear of Mispronunciation

[Jimmy Higgins]

WASHINGTON DC -- Independent reports are emerging from the White House indicating that Trump's lack of a response regarding the sudden and surprising deaths of 4 soldiers in Niger, was not due to indifference, but because of pronunciation.

"They feared the worst," stated one source who required to remain anonymous because he wasn't authorized to speak on this, but he decided to anyway.

President Trump has undertaken a substantial amount of criticism for not only poorly worded communications with the family of one of the fallen soldiers, but also the 12 day delay regarding any recognition of the incident. However, sources within the White House are indicating that they feared that Trump would mispronounce the nation's name in a national public broadcast and the aftermath would be "unsalvageable".

One source indicated that almost immediately after the incident in Niger that took the lives of 4 American soldiers, which is still shrouded in questions, staff members secretly tried to test the President and see if he could pronounce the nation properly. The fears partially stemmed from Trump's previous error when speaking with a council of African nations and applauding Nambia, a nation that does not exist.

The initial tests were reportedly failures and then staff try to transition to flash cards to teach the President about a 'soft g'. After two days of periodic attempts, it reportedly became clear that the President wouldn't be able to say the nation's name properly, so staff decided to not even bother telling him about it.

"We really want the Americans to know, that the President does care, it is just that if he tried to say it out loud... well... you know."

 

[RavenSky]

you should write for The Onion

 

[braces_for_impact]

That one was just brilliant.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

I love it

 

[ZiprHead]

you should write for The Onion

I think he should actually submit it to the Onion, just to see what happens.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

you should write for The Onion

I think he should actually submit it to the Onion, just to see what happens.

They don't take anything unsolicited. They also require people to be local, not freelance. So even if the impossible happened, I'd need a serious raise from my current pay to consider moving to the expensive Windy Apple.

 

[Terrell]

Tell DT it's spelled Knee-Jerr, maybe he'd get it right or at least close.

 

[Ford]

you should write for The Onion

I feel bad for the writers there. Reality has become too absurd to satirize.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

you should write for The Onion

I feel bad for the writers there. Reality has become too absurd to satirize.

As I said in another thread, political satire has become paraphrasing.

 

[ideologyhunter]

Reminds me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry places an obit for his wife's aunt, and it turns out as "devoted sister and beloved cunt."