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What is this girl up to?

Tammuz

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There is a girl at my job who behaves as if she is of two minds.

Some days, she seems eager to talk (or at least communicate in some way) to me, and quite often locks eyes with me or otherwise seems to try to make a non-verbal contact over the office space.

Other days, she seems completely off to me, doesn't look at me and seems to try to avoid me.

So why is she behaving like this? Since I have Aspergers, I'm certainly missing a lot of implicit communication (not just with her but with everyone actually, just a fact of life for me). Pretty much everyone else has a more consistent behavior with me (whether it's friendly or hostile).

The few times I have spoken for a longer time with her (beyond "hi"), it has been a rather stiff conversation.

Her friend is usually goofy (in a joking and friendly way) when she talks to me.

What is this girl up to?
 

Tom Sawyer

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Maybe she's wondering what you're up to. Perhaps one day you were looking vaguely in her direction and she thought you were staring at her, so she looked back curious as to why. Then you saw her looking and wondered why she was staring at you and you stared back. Then she was like "That guy's staring at me again. What's up?". Then you were like "Why the hell is this girl looking at me? Is she trying to say something?". Then when you do talk, she's thinking "He's not bringing up why he keeps staring at me. WTF is going on?" while you're thinking "Why is this conversation so stiff? I don't know what it is she wants from me".

Either that or she's been looking at the guy who sits behind you.
 

KeepTalking

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Regardless, keep in mind the old adage, "Don't shit where you eat."

Workplace romances often do not end well, either for the romance, or the workplace.
 

Horatio Parker

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I'd vote don't ask. Leave her be, just be friendly and polite, no more, and if she wants to go further, she'll give you an indication. Her conflicts are her problem.

I'd never ask such a direct question, and this is probably the best course of action...

From your own account, she has resisted your attempts to communicate. If she doesn't want to talk, don't try to make her talk. Play it cool.
 

TSwizzle

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There is a girl at my job who behaves as if she is of two minds.

Some days, she seems eager to talk (or at least communicate in some way) to me, and quite often locks eyes with me or otherwise seems to try to make a non-verbal contact over the office space.

Other days, she seems completely off to me, doesn't look at me and seems to try to avoid me.

So why is she behaving like this? Since I have Aspergers, I'm certainly missing a lot of implicit communication (not just with her but with everyone actually, just a fact of life for me). Pretty much everyone else has a more consistent behavior with me (whether it's friendly or hostile).

The few times I have spoken for a longer time with her (beyond "hi"), it has been a rather stiff conversation.

Her friend is usually goofy (in a joking and friendly way) when she talks to me.

What is this girl up to?

She's gagging on it.
 

laughing dog

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I'd never ask such a direct question, and this is probably the best course of action...
You don't have to be direct, but simply work up to it after a couple of conversations. I can understand you don't want to or think you are able to, but then only chance of discovering what she is really up to is to be patient and see what develops.
 

jab

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There is a girl at my job who behaves as if she is of two minds.

Some days, she seems eager to talk (or at least communicate in some way) to me, and quite often locks eyes with me or otherwise seems to try to make a non-verbal contact over the office space.

Other days, she seems completely off to me, doesn't look at me and seems to try to avoid me.

So why is she behaving like this? Since I have Aspergers, I'm certainly missing a lot of implicit communication (not just with her but with everyone actually, just a fact of life for me). Pretty much everyone else has a more consistent behavior with me (whether it's friendly or hostile).

The few times I have spoken for a longer time with her (beyond "hi"), it has been a rather stiff conversation.

Her friend is usually goofy (in a joking and friendly way) when she talks to me.

What is this girl up to?
How old is this girl?
 

credoconsolans

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There is a girl at my job who behaves as if she is of two minds.

Some days, she seems eager to talk (or at least communicate in some way) to me, and quite often locks eyes with me or otherwise seems to try to make a non-verbal contact over the office space.

Other days, she seems completely off to me, doesn't look at me and seems to try to avoid me.

So why is she behaving like this? Since I have Aspergers, I'm certainly missing a lot of implicit communication (not just with her but with everyone actually, just a fact of life for me). Pretty much everyone else has a more consistent behavior with me (whether it's friendly or hostile).

The few times I have spoken for a longer time with her (beyond "hi"), it has been a rather stiff conversation.

Her friend is usually goofy (in a joking and friendly way) when she talks to me.

What is this girl up to?

Maybe she's actually busy working those days.
 

rousseau

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Messages
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Why not ask her?

I'd vote don't ask. Leave her be, just be friendly and polite, no more, and if she wants to go further, she'll give you an indication. Her conflicts are her problem.

Yea, as a worker in the political scene of a company you're best to just shut your mouth unless asked to speak and continue doing your job well, and no more. Creating emotional waves, good or bad, doesn't really help anyone.
 

NobleSavage

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There is a girl at my job who behaves as if she is of two minds.

Some days, she seems eager to talk (or at least communicate in some way) to me, and quite often locks eyes with me or otherwise seems to try to make a non-verbal contact over the office space.

Other days, she seems completely off to me, doesn't look at me and seems to try to avoid me.

So why is she behaving like this? Since I have Aspergers, I'm certainly missing a lot of implicit communication (not just with her but with everyone actually, just a fact of life for me). Pretty much everyone else has a more consistent behavior with me (whether it's friendly or hostile).

The few times I have spoken for a longer time with her (beyond "hi"), it has been a rather stiff conversation.

Her friend is usually goofy (in a joking and friendly way) when she talks to me.

What is this girl up to?

Could just be mood swings. Like you have Aspergers maybe she is bipolar or something similar. When she is in a good mood, she talks to you. When she is having a bad day, she just wants to be left alone. I wouldn't take it personally.
 
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