fromderinside
Mazzie Daius
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
- 15,945
- Basic Beliefs
- optimist
It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
Many people are exposed to loss or potentially traumatic events at some point in their lives, and yet they continue to have positive emotional experiences and show only minor and transient disruptions in their ability to function. Unfortunately, because much of psychology’s knowledge about how adults cope with loss or trauma has come from individuals who sought treatment or exhibited great distress, loss and trauma theorists have often viewed this typeof resilience as either rare or pathological. The author challenges these assumptions by reviewing evidence that resilience represents a distinct trajectory from the process of recovery, that resilience in the face of loss or potential trauma is more common than is often believed, and that there are multiple and sometimes unexpected pathways to resilience.
My larger point is that certain circumstances may make it impossible to not think negatively. Being able to avoid turning inward may depend on your mental ability to let anxiety dissipate, as well as the severity of the depression. In some cases, physical, chronic depression warps the mind, in other cases life circumstances are so bad that it's near impossible to stay positive.
But don't forget that the feelings of solitude and isolation have a kind of survival value for many, a feature, not a bug. They force us to seek companions rather than being content with our dearth of life circumstances.
It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
My larger point is that certain circumstances may make it impossible to not think negatively. Being able to avoid turning inward may depend on your mental ability to let anxiety dissipate, as well as the severity of the depression. In some cases, physical, chronic depression warps the mind, in other cases life circumstances are so bad that it's near impossible to stay positive.
But don't forget that the feelings of solitude and isolation have a kind of survival value for many, a feature, not a bug. They force us to seek companions rather than being content with our dearth of life circumstances.
My life for about two years after we left FSU with dissertation data accumulated and writing underway is a circumstance right out of your book or horrors. Depression was so thick around me that I nearly faded into a sort of catatonic state. A meeting with a former prof at UCLA wasn't meant to be anything more than an introduction to the aerospace scientific community.
No such luck.
I met and interviewed with Marianne Olds recent widow of Jim Olds who was struggling to keep their lab going at Cal Tech. We hit it off and I joined her team there. A year later I was back in Florida writing and defending my dissertation even though about 20% of the data had been lost somewhere between FSU and Covina CA.
Unbelievable.
I always kept in touch with past academic connections is the only rationale I can come up with how this turnaround took place.
Marriage saved. Good life followed. Never returned to those thoughts again.
I don't know if it was a turning inward. The whole period is a blur now. Selective amnesia? Perhaps.
It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
I didn't. I'm an extroverted person. I just stopped doing things. Doing regular things became exhausting and I just didn't have energy. But I felt like I was in a good mood. I just didn't do stuff. According to my psychiatrist, that is also a normal form of depression. I should also add that he also said that he didn't think I had any depressive tendencies. I was just traumatised, and the depression came as a result of the trauma. Which was pretty extreme in my case. So it didn't need years of therapy to figure out that cause and effect.
I wasn't suicidal and didn't have suicidal thoughts. I was pretty happy and cheerful about life. Just incredibly mentally tired all the time.
^so thick around me
Yea that's a big focus. Honestly? Completely crazy about her, and now more so as mother of my child.Being a good partner is important, most important from my experience. You've got relatively new thing in your life. No surprise it is the center or near center of what you are right now. The thing is whether she thinks your interest is is adequate and wanted. Really. That is the only thing you should be using as a compass. What you are working on will determine your life value.
There will come a time when back and leg rubs become your contact sport.
I'm not really one to look outward, I know what I have and am holding on tight. Including banging on a pot near her head about breast cancer check ups. That'll likely happen.
I'm not really one to look outward, I know what I have and am holding on tight. Including banging on a pot near her head about breast cancer check ups. That'll likely happen.
Above is a point where looking inward can be counterproductive. Not a good idea to insert fear in others unwanted, especially when they are realistically concentrating elsewhere.
First law of devotion is to be devoted. Being so is definitely not being fearfully obsessive about well being of the one to which devotion is aimed. Loved one, when truly in crisis, will give clues.
For instance when bride began being fearful of going to a job she loved it was time to get her to share. Turns out all she needed was a person to shout at someone who was making things worse from a previous situation.
Donned my superman suit. Got on the horn and berated person as a professional with elegant credentials. Admonished him for sloppy and childish behavior as an uncaring administrator. Made sure she heard.
Amazing effect. Kind of like that of Mighty Mouse declaring "here I come to save the day".
He was chastised. She was supported. Both worked things out nicely. Just a little demonstration of support, caring, and sensitivity were all she needed.
Of course proper staging makes things work out.
It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
I didn't. I'm an extroverted person. I just stopped doing things. Doing regular things became exhausting and I just didn't have energy. But I felt like I was in a good mood. I just didn't do stuff. According to my psychiatrist, that is also a normal form of depression. I should also add that he also said that he didn't think I had any depressive tendencies. I was just traumatised, and the depression came as a result of the trauma. Which was pretty extreme in my case. So it didn't need years of therapy to figure out that cause and effect.
I wasn't suicidal and didn't have suicidal thoughts. I was pretty happy and cheerful about life. Just incredibly mentally tired all the time.
These days I feel like I may be a functional depressive like this, in some respects. I have enough energy and motivation to do very well in day to day, critical tasks, but when it comes to pushing myself beyond boundaries to experience the world in any kind of joyful way, it's difficult.
I rarely have the motivation to see friends, travel, go to movies, or really do much of anything other than hang out with my wife and read. Maybe it's just because those are the only two things I actually like doing? Who knows.
It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.