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Analysts Indicate Unlikeliness That Band Will "Rock All Night"

Jimmy Higgins

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Omaha, NE -- Analysts are indicating that the claim by the Midwestern progressive rock band Kansas that they "might rock all night" was not likely to come to pass.

Kansas, out of neighboring Topeka, Kansas, was about one hour into the show when bass guitarist, Billy Greer, addressed the crowd after performing Miracles Out of Nowhere and concluded by saying that it was possible they "might rock all night". That was proceeded by raucous cheering and applause. It was unclear how many in the crowd actually thought Kansas would perform a set list that would last through to the next morning or whether they simply liked hearing the statement.

Analysts, citing the band's age, local ordinances, as well as attendee logistics such as babysitters, felt that there were just too many restrictions that would prevent the band from playing all night.

"It is not uncommon for bands to say this," noted Rolling Stone editor Todd Wilkins. "But it is simply just not feasible to play a 10 or 12 hour set list on the fly."

At the time of publication, the band was two hours into the show and had already played most of their familiar material and would need to go deeper into their catalog to get through to 2 AM.

CORRECTION: The article has been modified to correct the spelling of Teopka, Kansas.
 
Also not supported by research:
The Black-Eyed Peas' assertion that "...tonight's gonna be a good, good, good, good (thirty more good's, by my count) night..." (OMG, I hate that song.) You can tell it was written by people under the age of 40. After 40, your outlook is, Meh, it's okay, it'll do, just don't oversell it.
 
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