Atheist kids on the topic of Christmas

[Rhea]

I'm sure there are many humorous moments, so post 'em here for the Holidays!

Sparked by my daughter who was at a piano lesson and the teacher, who is religious, was joking about Christmas gifts and how you can open them for days if you use things like advent, the birth and the arrival of the wise men.

Daughter looks confused and says, "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Teacher replies, "well the wise men arrived what was it, three days? Six? after the birth."
Daughter, "You'd think if they were actually wise men, they'd be punctual."
Teacher, "well they were on camels!"

 

[dx713]

No kids, but this week while my Mum was visiting, a fun discussion happened in my house.
Wife started setting the nativity scene with her, but as we intend to just by a few each year, our collection of santons is still barebones (namely Baby Jesus, Joseph, Marie, beef and donkey, and a shepherd with a couple of sheeps).

Wife (practising catholic): I need to buy the wise men, they're missing.
Me (just passing by): they're not missing yet, they only arrive at epiphany.
Wife (and from a very devout family to boot): at home, we put everything on at the same time.
Mum (atheist): You can't do that! *shocked*
Wife: Why not?
Me: Where did you hide Jesus?
Wife: Hide, what for? *shows Jesus in the middle of the stable*
Mum (still atheist): But it's not Christmas yet! *even more shocked*

I found that a fun example of the entanglement of religion and tradition, when the local atheist ends being the one defending a religious tradition from the practising but alien believer.

 

[Perspicuo]

That's what you get when people feel observed by an omniscient being who is also a prude and who might, just might, take a small gesture to heart.

Must be torture. Well, I know, it was torture!

 

[dx713]

It was the reverse, actually.
The one believing not caring, and the one not believing caring.

Not because she's afraid of any god, but because she was taught how to properly set a crèche (nativity scene) by her own grandma*, and she's gonna make sure that tradition is passed along to her own grandkids! (I found it quite heartwarming, along with the funny of her atheist self schooling my practising catholic wife on a catholic tradition).

*Along with aioli, of course, but that she needn't worry: my wife is a very good cook and a sponge for new tastes, she's already cooking aioli and pieds-paquets better than I can, and the kids are used to a wide variety of tastes and not picky about (quality) food.

 

[Playball40]

When my son was four, we were invited to a Christmas pageant at the church. We were sitting in the front row of a very crowded church and the pastor was giving his typical Christmas sermon. There was a pause and all was quiet when my son piped up in a rather loud voice......Mom? Who is "baby Jesus"?? There was an audible gasp in the room.

 

[Rhea]

I found that a fun example of the entanglement of religion and tradition, when the local atheist ends being the one defending a religious tradition from the practising but alien believer.

Funny how that often works out that way.

 

[braces_for_impact]

I was at an event last year to get a turkey, (it was at a church) when the worker started talking to my then 3yr old daughter about God. She explained that God was "up there" watching over us. My daughter, looking confused, looked up and said "like in the attic?" I couldn't stop laughing.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

My favourite is from my niece who said "I don't believe in God because he's not real and it's stupid to believe in things that aren't real."

 

[credoconsolans]

When my son was four, we were invited to a Christmas pageant at the church. We were sitting in the front row of a very crowded church and the pastor was giving his typical Christmas sermon. There was a pause and all was quiet when my son piped up in a rather loud voice......Mom? Who is "baby Jesus"?? There was an audible gasp in the room.

Reminds me of the story of the bored 1st grader at a Passion Play at church and when the grand procession of Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph started up the aisle, his mother, trying to encourage the kid's enthusiasm said, "Look, it's the King."

To which the little kid perked up and said,"Elvis?"

 

[Rhea]

his mother, trying to encourage the kid's enthusiasm said, "Look, it's the King."

To which the little kid perked up and said,"Elvis?"

Awesome!

My daughter gave me another chuckle (she is 12, btw) she was asking about some aspect of church because she takes piano lessons in a church so she sees these symbols all around her, and I was trying to explain why some things confused her by not going together, and I stumbled saying, "and so somethings these things all together are less... they're not... um...." and she finishes for me, "coherent?" Yeah. That.