Jimmy Higgins
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That's right kiddies! It is December which means it is time for the BCS Playoff rundown as we are just one game away from swifting through the remains of what was yet another season of glorious abuses of publicly funded college football with players who are under rewarded for their performance, except at colleges that can't afford a college football team.
The top 4 are current:
I put Alabama in the Top 4 at #5 because it was reported that a heat bloom was picked up by satellites, that monitor surface temperatures, near the vicinity of the BCS compound. This can only mean that a massive array of super computers are tasking away trying to find legitimate reasons for Alabama not only to be #5 (after losing to a #13 team), but to deserve a place in the BCS playoff. Believe it or not, this is the sixth playoff... and Alabama has made it every year. This year will be the hardest as the heat bloom indicates.
What really matters the most is the Georgia v LSU game. If Georgia loses, they will have a second loss, which means Alabama will be the Fourth Seed due to their wicked strength of schedule and dominant victories over collegiate powerhouses New Mexico State, Arkansas, and Western Carolina. Alabama only two loses came against the two of the three teams (Southern Mississippi being the only team with a winning record Alabama beat this year) they played that had a winning record. You can't argue against that!
Now, there are the other teams like Ohio State which did an impressive job mopping up the Big Ten which has a notable history in football. The Buckeyes defeated three ranked teams this year (all in the Big Ten), including Michigan (3 losses), Minnesota (are you fucking kidding they are still #8 with 2 losses), and Penn State (who hold out of conference victories over Buffalo, Idaho, and Pittsburgh!). Additionally, Ohio State held Miami (of Ohio) University to just 5 points while beating out-of-conference juggernauts South Florida and Central Michigan! Ohio State faces Wisconsin (again) who is 10-2. A win for Wisconsin would not likely put them into the Top 4 because their market sucks. Ohio State likely survives in the Top Four with a loss because their market doesn't suck like Wisconsin's does.
While LSU's victories over Alabama, Florida, and Auburn would give one reason to suggest they have a pedigree, it is their non-conference victories over Georgia Southern, Utah State, and I believe Trump University that really have some people scratching their head as to why they aren't #1 in the BCS.
This leaves us with Georgia, the team on the Alabama bubble. Like LSU, they have victories over teams with winning records, but they lost to a team called the Gamecocks... and that is just embarrassing. They need to summon the strength and courage they showed in their match up against Murray State to overtake LSU and ensure themselves a place in the Top 4.
This finally leaves us, for realz, with Clemson... who play in the ACC, the conference that has compromising photos of high level BCS staffers, so even if Clemson lost to Virginia (a team whose second best victory came against Florida State... if this were 15 years ago), they'd likely stay in the Top 4 because of said compromising photos. Granted, it is possible Alabama has an army of PIs out there trying to one-up the compromising photos against the BCS for force a fourth seed.
So, there you have it.
College Football is da schitt!! I mean actually. People actually think this is actually legitimate sport. WWE is less scripted! At least when Jeff Hardy shows up out of his mind, Sting didn't job to him (technically TNA).
The top 4 are current:
- Ohio State
- LSU
- Clemson
- Georgia
- Alabama
I put Alabama in the Top 4 at #5 because it was reported that a heat bloom was picked up by satellites, that monitor surface temperatures, near the vicinity of the BCS compound. This can only mean that a massive array of super computers are tasking away trying to find legitimate reasons for Alabama not only to be #5 (after losing to a #13 team), but to deserve a place in the BCS playoff. Believe it or not, this is the sixth playoff... and Alabama has made it every year. This year will be the hardest as the heat bloom indicates.
What really matters the most is the Georgia v LSU game. If Georgia loses, they will have a second loss, which means Alabama will be the Fourth Seed due to their wicked strength of schedule and dominant victories over collegiate powerhouses New Mexico State, Arkansas, and Western Carolina. Alabama only two loses came against the two of the three teams (Southern Mississippi being the only team with a winning record Alabama beat this year) they played that had a winning record. You can't argue against that!
Now, there are the other teams like Ohio State which did an impressive job mopping up the Big Ten which has a notable history in football. The Buckeyes defeated three ranked teams this year (all in the Big Ten), including Michigan (3 losses), Minnesota (are you fucking kidding they are still #8 with 2 losses), and Penn State (who hold out of conference victories over Buffalo, Idaho, and Pittsburgh!). Additionally, Ohio State held Miami (of Ohio) University to just 5 points while beating out-of-conference juggernauts South Florida and Central Michigan! Ohio State faces Wisconsin (again) who is 10-2. A win for Wisconsin would not likely put them into the Top 4 because their market sucks. Ohio State likely survives in the Top Four with a loss because their market doesn't suck like Wisconsin's does.
While LSU's victories over Alabama, Florida, and Auburn would give one reason to suggest they have a pedigree, it is their non-conference victories over Georgia Southern, Utah State, and I believe Trump University that really have some people scratching their head as to why they aren't #1 in the BCS.
This leaves us with Georgia, the team on the Alabama bubble. Like LSU, they have victories over teams with winning records, but they lost to a team called the Gamecocks... and that is just embarrassing. They need to summon the strength and courage they showed in their match up against Murray State to overtake LSU and ensure themselves a place in the Top 4.
This finally leaves us, for realz, with Clemson... who play in the ACC, the conference that has compromising photos of high level BCS staffers, so even if Clemson lost to Virginia (a team whose second best victory came against Florida State... if this were 15 years ago), they'd likely stay in the Top 4 because of said compromising photos. Granted, it is possible Alabama has an army of PIs out there trying to one-up the compromising photos against the BCS for force a fourth seed.
So, there you have it.
- Ohio State (defeater of their over-ranked conference opponents and Miami (OH))
- LSU (beat actual schools)
- Clemson (handily overtook every Division II team they played and have their finger on the "send" button)
- Georgia (Gamecocks!)
- Alabama (defeated one school with a winning record)
College Football is da schitt!! I mean actually. People actually think this is actually legitimate sport. WWE is less scripted! At least when Jeff Hardy shows up out of his mind, Sting didn't job to him (technically TNA).