Jimmy Higgins
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- Jan 31, 2001
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MADRID, SPAIN -- The face of her generation's fight against Global Climate Change, Greta Thunberg, was scandalized yesterday when she was caught in her hotel room switching out new LED bulbs with old incandescent light bulbs. At first, it was assumed she was stealing the bulbs to keep for herself, but a quick search in her room resulted in finding crush LED bulbs in trash bags. Footage from the hotel also uncovered additionally disturbing footage. Firstly, it showed her using the elevator instead of using the stairs which results in approximately 6 ounces of CO2 production. She was also record repeatedly summoning the elevator without actually using it as well. Even worse, Greta was seen starting the vehicle she was using for transportation at around 10 PM, and letting it run overnight.
When initially confronted, Greta Thunberg denied everything, but when presented the video recordings, which itself resulted in additional carbon dioxide emissions, she broke down. "I did it! And I loved it!
"The carbon economy will never die," she kept shouting to many people's astonishment.
She admitted to other acts of bad environmental behavior, such as leaving her phone on during the entire boat trip, having it endlessly searching for cell signal, something, that over the period of two weeks on the trip, equated to the emission of several pounds of carbon dioxide.
All of Thunberg's scheduled appearances have been cancelled.
When initially confronted, Greta Thunberg denied everything, but when presented the video recordings, which itself resulted in additional carbon dioxide emissions, she broke down. "I did it! And I loved it!
"The carbon economy will never die," she kept shouting to many people's astonishment.
She admitted to other acts of bad environmental behavior, such as leaving her phone on during the entire boat trip, having it endlessly searching for cell signal, something, that over the period of two weeks on the trip, equated to the emission of several pounds of carbon dioxide.
All of Thunberg's scheduled appearances have been cancelled.