LA County Sheriff Confirms Physics to Blame for Tiger Woods Accident

[Jimmy Higgins]

Los Angeles, CA -- In a press conference, the LA County Sheriff confirmed that Physics was responsible for the severe SUV accident golfing legend Tiger Woods was involved in The Sheriff explained that Newtonian Mechanics were "heavily involved" in the predicament that made it impossible for the vehicle driven by Tiger Woods to stay upright and on the road. The Sheriff explained that while the Principles deduced by Isaac Newton were the primary cause of the accident, Isaac Newton was in no way a suspect or person of interest in the case. When asked whether Einstein's Relativistic Physics were also a potential cause, the Sheriff indicated that while the speed Woods' SUV was travelling was far in excess of the legal limit and was reckless, it did not come close to approaching the speed of light, allowing for classical physical mechanics to be the sole cause of the accident. The Sheriff abruptly ended the press conference when a reporter asked whether a relative frame of reference would be relevant when assessing the accident.