Law And Order: Trek

[Keith&Co.]

In the criminal justice system of the Federation, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, using almost 100% complete computer surveillance of every citizen, and nearly infallible lie detectors, so the 'investigate' part almost seamlessly transitions to the 'prosecute' part; and the state-employed therapists, who help the offenders process their crimes and their guilt. "What made you steal in this century? Can we talk about your motivation?" And "You KNEW you were on camera the entire time, was it arrogance or stupidity that made you think you'd get away with it?"
These are their stories. DUN DUN

 

[Keith&Co.]

In the criminal justice system of Q'onoS, the Klingons are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the priests of Kahless, who decide if the offense is a matter of honor. Honorable criminals get a weapon and a chance to challenge their accusers, dishonorables just get beaten bloody by the victim, the victim's clan, witnesses, bystanders, and law school students looking for extra credit.
These are their stories. Their bloody, bloody stories. I mean, like, blood and gobbets of flesh thirty feet up on the compound walls. DUN DUN

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Prosecutor: So Captain Janeway, do you deny that you were responsible for wiping out an entire species?

Janeway: But they were the Borg.

Prosecutor: So you admit it was premeditated and you have no remorse?!

Janeway: But we...

Prosecutor: I rest my case.

 

[Keith&Co.]

In the criminal justice system of Ferenginar, the Ferengi are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the law brokers, who help shoppers purchase the best cops available on their budget. These are their serialized stories. Subscribe now so you won't miss a judgment! DUN DUN

 

[Keith&Co.]

In the criminal justice system of Romulus, the Emperor is represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The thought police, who investigate treason, and the district assassins, who put an end to the treason. These are the Empire's stories. DUN DUN

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

In the criminal justice system of Ferenginar, the Ferengi are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The financial regulators, who investigate crime, and the financial regulators that benefit from the bribes to cover up those crimes. These are their serialized stories. Subscribe now so you won't miss a judgment! DUN DUN

 

[Keith&Co.]

In the criminal justice system of Vulcan, the Vulcans are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The observers, who record the details of each crime, and the moral philosophers, who criticize the crime. Clues left behind, the obvious logic failures of the participants, the poor grasp of criminal science leading to the crime being noticed, signs of emotional entanglement, human influences, irrational choices made...
The resulting 'hostile dissection' of the crime is broadcast in a talk-show format as the philosophers dogpile on the nameless miscreant. The broadcast ends when a Vulcan calls in to the show with some comment, such as, 'You know, maybe it was not a crime of passion. Perhaps the killer had a perfectly rational reason to use a pineapple as the murder weapon.' The technical term for anyone motivated to defend the logic of a felon is 'prime suspect.'
These are their stories. DUN DUN

 

[Jayjay]

In the criminal justice system of the Q continuum, the Q are represented by two separate yet equally important entities: The Q, who investigates crime, and the Q, who prosecutes the offenders. These are his or her stories.

DUN DUN

 

[Patooka]

In the criminal justice system of the Cardassian Union, the people are represented by five separate yet equally important entities: The Obsidian Order who will explain why you are going to be executed. The civilian government to show how idiotic idealism is. The Guls, who are committing and preventing treason depending on who you ask and a plain simple tailor who we don't talk about. These are their stories.

DUN DUN

*Pointing out that there are only four entities and not five will result in the speaker being remorseful for their sedition and complete willingness to report for reeducation at Lazon II