Meanwhile in Red County America

[Jimmy Higgins]

Yeah, so anyway, a Township in Medina County Ohio had a Trustee Boardman disappear a while ago and was missing for months. His body was eventually found in a pond, in a rather public area. An autopsy was concluded and indicated a number of things, including stab wounds and no water in his lungs.

So this is where the story starts getting interesting.

“It would be inappropriate to draw any conclusions beyond this factual report,” Medina County Prosecutor S. Forrest Thompson told reporters Thursday. “It would be disrespectful to the family to say more.”

...

“What we have is a death — a tragic death,” he said. “To call it murder is premature. To call it suicide is premature.”

That is the County Prosecutor there.

In mid-December, authorities found blood at the township hall in Macron’s disheveled office and in his vehicle, which was parked next to Chippewa Lake about 3 miles away. But Macron was nowhere to be found.

Let's not rush to judgments here. There could be a rational and natural explanation to what happened.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Yeah, so anyway, a Township in Medina County Ohio had a Trustee Boardman disappear a while ago and was missing for months. His body was eventually found in a pond, in a rather public area. An autopsy was concluded and indicated a number of things, including stab wounds and no water in his lungs.

So this is where the story starts getting interesting.

That is the County Prosecutor there.

In mid-December, authorities found blood at the township hall in Macron’s disheveled office and in his vehicle, which was parked next to Chippewa Lake about 3 miles away. But Macron was nowhere to be found.

Let's not rush to judgments here. There could be a rational and natural explanation to what happened.

I was going to say the first part was right--stab wounds could be murder or they could be suicide. Thus it would be premature to call it one or the other.

However, the latter information basically rules out suicide.

 

[Nice Squirrel]

I hear the pickerel can stab you from shore when there is a good walleye chop.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Yeah, so anyway, a Township in Medina County Ohio had a Trustee Boardman disappear a while ago and was missing for months. His body was eventually found in a pond, in a rather public area. An autopsy was concluded and indicated a number of things, including stab wounds and no water in his lungs.

So this is where the story starts getting interesting.

That is the County Prosecutor there.

Let's not rush to judgments here. There could be a rational and natural explanation to what happened.

I was going to say the first part was right--stab wounds could be murder or they could be suicide. Thus it would be premature to call it one or the other.

However, the latter information basically rules out suicide.

How the fuck do you kill yourself through several stab wounds and then deposit your body on a lake?

 

[Nice Squirrel]

I was going to say the first part was right--stab wounds could be murder or they could be suicide. Thus it would be premature to call it one or the other.

However, the latter information basically rules out suicide.

How the fuck do you kill yourself through several stab wounds and then deposit your body on a lake?

In Minnesota it would not be unheard of, although it would take lots of beer and a canoe with twelve-inch spiked gunnels.

 

[Sarpedon]

First you fashion a knife out of ice. Then, you go on the frozen lake, and stab yourself with it. Then the ice melts, leaving no murder weapon and the body in the lake.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

First you fashion a knife out of ice. Then, you go on the frozen lake, and stab yourself with it. Then the ice melts, leaving no murder weapon and the body in the lake.

Dude, you've been watching too much Bones.

 

[Valjean]

Clearly yet another invasive fish species done 'im in -- probably some aggressive variety of dwarf billfish, adapted to fresh water.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

I was going to say the first part was right--stab wounds could be murder or they could be suicide. Thus it would be premature to call it one or the other.

However, the latter information basically rules out suicide.

How the fuck do you kill yourself through several stab wounds and then deposit your body on a lake?

Sit on a tree branch over the water, stab yourself.

It's not exactly unheard of for suicides to go to great lengths to make their deaths appear to be murder.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

It's not exactly unheard of for suicides to go to great lengths to make their deaths appear to be murder.

So, their last act in the world would be to waste other people's time and taxpayers' money. I can't say that I'm sorry to be rid of those people.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

How the fuck do you kill yourself through several stab wounds and then deposit your body on a lake?

Sit on a tree branch over the water, stab yourself.

Okay, so he finds a tree located over water in a pond, stabs himself several times and keeps himself up until his heart stops beating... then falls in. That is commitment to the plot! So when his body smacks into the ice on the frozen lake in December, how exactly is it so hard to find his bled out body, with his car parked next to the lake?

It's not exactly unheard of for suicides to go to great lengths to make their deaths appear to be murder.

I see it on crime dramas all the time.

 

[Arctish]

Don't forget the blood in his disheveled office and his car.

First he makes a mess of his office, then he stabs himself, then he drives 3 miles to a lake, then he climbs a tree and walks out onto a very sturdy branch (did you see his picture? We're talking 100 year old oak at least, none of that bendy pine or maple stuff) that overhangs the ice far enough that he's away from the shore so he isn't spotted right away, then he waits until he stops breathing before falling in, and there you have it.

Easy peasy.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Don't forget the blood in his disheveled office and his car.

First he makes a mess of his office, then he stabs himself, then he drives 3 miles to a lake, then he climbs a tree and walks out onto a very sturdy branch (did you see his picture? We're talking 100 year old oak at least, none of that bendy pine or maple stuff) that overhangs the ice far enough that he's away from the shore so he isn't spotted right away, then he waits until he stops breathing before falling in, and there you have it.

Easy peasy.

In Loren's defense, he did note earlier that blood in the office and car indicated it was murder. I just don't get the tree stabbing thing. Must have happened to someone his wife knew.

 

[dismal]

So... a low level official in East Bumfuck, Ohio was overly careful in a statement.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Don't forget the blood in his disheveled office and his car.

First he makes a mess of his office, then he stabs himself, then he drives 3 miles to a lake, then he climbs a tree and walks out onto a very sturdy branch (did you see his picture? We're talking 100 year old oak at least, none of that bendy pine or maple stuff) that overhangs the ice far enough that he's away from the shore so he isn't spotted right away, then he waits until he stops breathing before falling in, and there you have it.

Easy peasy.

Apparently a lot of you didn't read what I said.

The blood in the office and car makes the suicide theory very unlikely.

I was going on the first part--stabbed body in the water. That's not proof of murder vs suicide.

The reality is that some people don't want others to think they committed suicide so they fake a murder.