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PM Johnson Found Dead In Ditch after Royal Assent On loose lipped PM Statement

Jimmy Higgins

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LONDON, ENGLAND -- The loose lips of former Prime Minister Boris Johnson led to his untimely death. The Prime Minister had noted that he'd "rather be dead in a ditch" than ask the EU for an additional delay in the Article 50 Brexit maneuver.

What the PM was unaware of, was his statement was technically made in a forum that provided for an automated Royal Assent.

The body was discovered by a teen who had originally thought they found a bloated manatee wearing a suit and a ruffled toupee in a ditch.

Scotland Yard confirmed that the body was positively ID'd as the former Prime Minister and that his death looked particularly painful.
 
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