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Racecar Prayer Invocation

Jimmy Higgins

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Jan 31, 2001
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Calvinistic Atheist
For some reason, I'm never asked to do a prayer invocation for race car events. It might have something to do with my career not being remotely involved in the field of religion. But while driving to Mid-Ohio this morning the thought occurred to me. Personally I don't like invocations at these events. While Indycar involves yes Jesus Wheezus, I get a bit angry over the obfuscation. Simon Pagenaud had a serious crash last year at Mid-Ohio, and he still hasn't raced. Might not, competitively ever again. Oh, let's ask the same deity for more magical protection. I mean, if we could trust Jesus so much, why do we have the AMR crews on immediate standby at multiple locations on the track to help a driver or crew?

My Prayer Invocation
Dear Jesus. We thank you for all the blessings you've provided us on this beautiful day. We ask that you look over these drivers in today's race. Sure, we should have ask for this earlier. It isn't as if the practicing and qualifying is remotely free from risk and danger. But there are usually fewer people in attendance before Race Day than there are now, and really this is about the fans, not the drivers. We want the fans to feel free of any guilt in case something tragic happens to a driver, by saying we did all that we could do.

Regardless, we ask you to oversee the safety of these drivers and their crews so that nothing befalls them in this dangerous sport. And of course, if something does happen, we'll happily obfuscate it away by saying it was part of your plan *air quotes* and the driver died doing what they loved. And by the following year, we'll completely forget. I mean, does anyone even remember who Simon Pagenaud was? ... Is? Anyone?

Now Jesus... start their engines.

*nothing*

Hmmm. Well, we thank you regardless. In Jesus's name.
 
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