Sanders Unionizes Hospital Staff / Raises Payrates

[Jimmy Higgins]

KNOXVILLE, TN — Senator Sanders had to pause his campaign due to an artery blockage, but that didn’t stop him from pushing forward his platform.

By the time the stent was placed inside the artery blockage, Sanders had already unionized the nursing staff. Shortly after awaking in recovery, the janitorial staff had been unionized.

Janitor union spokesperson Jamal Anderson reported that since unionizing earlier in the day 401k matching was up 15% and hourly wages are up 10%.

“We were inspired by his dedication,” noted Hospital Staff Manager Cal Winters. “Despite our varying positions, he was able to enunciate a sound plan that helped make us aware how a better compensated workforce is a more valuable workforce.

“Even while under a mild sedative.”

The senator is expected to remain in the hospital overnight for observation and to help improve workings conditions in the Cafeteria.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

This might seem like an Onion type satire, but while doctors, nurses and some medical personnel are well paid, many hospital workers at lower levels work for minimum wage. Many of these need food stamps to survive. This is not funny. Sanders has championed a living minimum wage. The GOP has not and Trump wants to slash food stamp programs.

 

[Fentoine Lum]

This might seem like an Onion type satire, but while doctors, nurses and some medical personnel are well paid, many hospital workers at lower levels work for minimum wage. Many of these need food stamps to survive. This is not funny. Sanders has championed a living minimum wage. The GOP has not and Trump wants to slash food stamp programs.

Those who work in elder care are even worse off. This is as clear an indication of our societal illness as one can find. We have no spiritual connection to either our ancestors nor our descendants.