• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Secret Service Devises New Plan to Allow Trump to Campaign Outdoors Again

Jimmy Higgins

Contributor
Joined
Jan 31, 2001
Messages
45,487
Basic Beliefs
Calvinistic Atheist
WASHINGTON DC -- Nearly a month after the attempted assassination of Donald Trump in Bethel, Pennsylvania, the Secret Service has been devising a way to allow Donald Trump to campaign safely outdoors again during his Presidential run. The new plan, unveiled in Washington included a number of changes that would help "ensure" a "safe space" for Trump to speak to large crowds outdoors without being killed. The plan includes:
  • Posting a post-it note on a wall "security board" when a person arrives at an event with ammunition, range finder, guns, and/or repeatedly states they want to harm Trump
  • Including members on the security team who care if Trump is shot at
  • Provide guns to all attendees who are much more likely to notice someone trying to gain a vantage point to target Trump
  • No longer provide suspected assassin a "sporting try" before firing at suspect
  • Suspend all non-violence training seminars
  • Have cruise missile on standby on nearby Navy vessel
  • If all else fails, target Trump themselves so suspected assassin can't kill him
 
Back
Top Bottom