southernhybrid
Contributor
This thread is for anyone who has experienced, has known someone who has experienced or can give examples of how religion often does harm to individuals. I feel as if I've gotten over the harm it did to me during my childhood and. young adulthood, but I'd like to share my experiences and hope some of you will too. And, I will likely also add a few of the more general harms of religion to society. I'm not claiming that all religious people are harmful, or that every sect of a religion is hateful, but the more conservative ones often do harm people.
First of all, my parents were not at all religious when I was very young. Sure, they believed in a god, but never went to church or practiced any kind of religious rituals that I know of. Those memories were good. My mother started going to a conservative Baptist church in NJ when I was about 4 and became "saved". Saved, as most of you know is the term that conservative Christians use to say they are saved from hell due to their beliefs. So, how did it damage me?
1. I was told that all of my Catholic friends were going to hell for eternity if they weren't "saved". That upset me emotionally. I used to ask my father why a loving god would punish people for all eternity , including those in Africa who had never even heard of the gospel. The answer was always th at god would explain it to us when we got to heaven.
2. My mother forced me to stop going to dancing school when I was about 6 or 7. I loved dancing school. I enjoyed the creativity of dancing and performing at the recital.
3. I was told that playing cards was a sin, so I wasn't permitted to play cards, although we could play with my grandmother, despite it making my mother very nervous. It had something to do with gambling.
4. Although we were permitted to watch TV movies, we weren't allowed to go to the movies, although I did go with my friends in high school, while never telling my mother where we were going.
5. One of my first dates was with a nice, handsome Jewish boy, but since it made my mom very nervous that I wasn't dating a born again Christian, I only dated him a couple of times.
6. My father, who was a very damage man used the excuse, "spare the rod and spoil the child" He would beat us with his belt very harshly, although I was able to stand up to him and get him to stop by the age of about 8. He continued to abuse my younger sister.
7, Speaking of my damaged father, he started thinking that god would send him to hell because he had killed Japanese soldiers during WWII. Of course war is hell, but without religion, at least he wouldn't have had a fear of eternal torture.
8. My father had a massive. heart attack, but was successfully resuscitated, by the local EMTs. He never had a near death experience, and again that made him fear hell.
9. I saw a woman try to convince a relative of hers that if she didn't ask Jesus to save her, she was headed for hell. The woman was one of my patients and she was in the early stages of dementia. I felt so sorry for her being badgered like that.
10.When we owned a little get a way condo in Florida, i recall seeing a man tied to a cross at Easter time to "celebrate" the death of Jesus. It was such a weird, sad sight to see someone do that.
11. When I left Christianity, my parents stopped helping me pay for college. Okay. That's not so bad, but I probably married my first husband partly to get out of their home.
One I almost forgot. My mother had a close Catholic friend who died. I was visiting her at the time and one of her nutty evangelical friends came to visit. She said to my mom, "Did you talk to her about the Lord", with the implication that if she didn't, her friend was now in hell. I wanted to scream at her but kept silent for my mother's sake. Why would she ask my mother after the woman had died and why the fuck did they think that Catholics were going to hell? It's so crazy and cruel. if there was a god, wouldn't that entity care about how people acted instead of what they believed?
12. My first husband was a Baha'i, which at the time I thought wasn't such a bad religion, compared to Christianity. But, it turned out he was a fanatic and he blamed our failed marriage on me not being a member of his religion. Then recently he told our son and his daughter from his 2nd marriage that he was going to give his life's savings to his religion instead of to them. They deserve the money as he never did much for either of them, which is why I call the step dad, the real dad. I've never met my son's half sister but learned that she was homeless for awhile and my ex never helped her out. His third wife told my dil that all he cared about was his religion. I felt sorry for her.
13. I live in the Bible Belt and some of my Christian friends know I'm an atheist. Although they don't try to convert me, they feel free to say things in front of me about how they know god is real etc. I find that a bit rude. I never tell them that their god is fake, as I care about them and don't want to hurt their feelings. Why can't people keep their beliefs to themselves unless asked? Then there are the street preachers downtown. I so want to tell them to go do some charity work like their good book says to do instead of telling people they are going to hell if they don't have the same beliefs as they do.
14. My sister suffers from anxiety and has always had a guilt complex, which I think is a result of our religious upbringing. Oddly enough, she continues to believe, although she's not sure what version of Christianity is the right one.
15. Of course, if you read about the history of non belief and religion, you know that some people were jailed, tortured and even executed for being agnostic, atheist or simply being the wrong sect of the dominant religion in their country. Some of that is still alive today in parts of the Muslim world. I'm currently reading a book about that and even wondering if the current atmosphere in the US will lead us back to that type of discrimination. Even some of my Christian friends are concerned about that. Even my late mother supported the SCS.
Anyone else need to share how religion harmed them during childhood or adulthood? Did you get over it? What helped? When I realized there were no gods, the truth set me free. If you're a liberal Christian or member of another religion, who was raised by conservative believers, please feel to share your story too. Members of liberal religions are atheists friends imo. I've even known three atheist methodists, who enjoyed their church community. We should join with them to keep the crazies from taking over. There used to be a member here who was a minister in a very liberal Baptist church in ATL. I met him and his wife in person. Most of his church members were gay. We lost touch and I have no idea if he still believes, but people like him are our allies. if you need a bit of the supernatural in your life, use it for good and be accepting of those who don't.
First of all, my parents were not at all religious when I was very young. Sure, they believed in a god, but never went to church or practiced any kind of religious rituals that I know of. Those memories were good. My mother started going to a conservative Baptist church in NJ when I was about 4 and became "saved". Saved, as most of you know is the term that conservative Christians use to say they are saved from hell due to their beliefs. So, how did it damage me?
1. I was told that all of my Catholic friends were going to hell for eternity if they weren't "saved". That upset me emotionally. I used to ask my father why a loving god would punish people for all eternity , including those in Africa who had never even heard of the gospel. The answer was always th at god would explain it to us when we got to heaven.
2. My mother forced me to stop going to dancing school when I was about 6 or 7. I loved dancing school. I enjoyed the creativity of dancing and performing at the recital.
3. I was told that playing cards was a sin, so I wasn't permitted to play cards, although we could play with my grandmother, despite it making my mother very nervous. It had something to do with gambling.
4. Although we were permitted to watch TV movies, we weren't allowed to go to the movies, although I did go with my friends in high school, while never telling my mother where we were going.
5. One of my first dates was with a nice, handsome Jewish boy, but since it made my mom very nervous that I wasn't dating a born again Christian, I only dated him a couple of times.
6. My father, who was a very damage man used the excuse, "spare the rod and spoil the child" He would beat us with his belt very harshly, although I was able to stand up to him and get him to stop by the age of about 8. He continued to abuse my younger sister.
7, Speaking of my damaged father, he started thinking that god would send him to hell because he had killed Japanese soldiers during WWII. Of course war is hell, but without religion, at least he wouldn't have had a fear of eternal torture.
8. My father had a massive. heart attack, but was successfully resuscitated, by the local EMTs. He never had a near death experience, and again that made him fear hell.
9. I saw a woman try to convince a relative of hers that if she didn't ask Jesus to save her, she was headed for hell. The woman was one of my patients and she was in the early stages of dementia. I felt so sorry for her being badgered like that.
10.When we owned a little get a way condo in Florida, i recall seeing a man tied to a cross at Easter time to "celebrate" the death of Jesus. It was such a weird, sad sight to see someone do that.
11. When I left Christianity, my parents stopped helping me pay for college. Okay. That's not so bad, but I probably married my first husband partly to get out of their home.
One I almost forgot. My mother had a close Catholic friend who died. I was visiting her at the time and one of her nutty evangelical friends came to visit. She said to my mom, "Did you talk to her about the Lord", with the implication that if she didn't, her friend was now in hell. I wanted to scream at her but kept silent for my mother's sake. Why would she ask my mother after the woman had died and why the fuck did they think that Catholics were going to hell? It's so crazy and cruel. if there was a god, wouldn't that entity care about how people acted instead of what they believed?
12. My first husband was a Baha'i, which at the time I thought wasn't such a bad religion, compared to Christianity. But, it turned out he was a fanatic and he blamed our failed marriage on me not being a member of his religion. Then recently he told our son and his daughter from his 2nd marriage that he was going to give his life's savings to his religion instead of to them. They deserve the money as he never did much for either of them, which is why I call the step dad, the real dad. I've never met my son's half sister but learned that she was homeless for awhile and my ex never helped her out. His third wife told my dil that all he cared about was his religion. I felt sorry for her.
13. I live in the Bible Belt and some of my Christian friends know I'm an atheist. Although they don't try to convert me, they feel free to say things in front of me about how they know god is real etc. I find that a bit rude. I never tell them that their god is fake, as I care about them and don't want to hurt their feelings. Why can't people keep their beliefs to themselves unless asked? Then there are the street preachers downtown. I so want to tell them to go do some charity work like their good book says to do instead of telling people they are going to hell if they don't have the same beliefs as they do.
14. My sister suffers from anxiety and has always had a guilt complex, which I think is a result of our religious upbringing. Oddly enough, she continues to believe, although she's not sure what version of Christianity is the right one.
15. Of course, if you read about the history of non belief and religion, you know that some people were jailed, tortured and even executed for being agnostic, atheist or simply being the wrong sect of the dominant religion in their country. Some of that is still alive today in parts of the Muslim world. I'm currently reading a book about that and even wondering if the current atmosphere in the US will lead us back to that type of discrimination. Even some of my Christian friends are concerned about that. Even my late mother supported the SCS.
Anyone else need to share how religion harmed them during childhood or adulthood? Did you get over it? What helped? When I realized there were no gods, the truth set me free. If you're a liberal Christian or member of another religion, who was raised by conservative believers, please feel to share your story too. Members of liberal religions are atheists friends imo. I've even known three atheist methodists, who enjoyed their church community. We should join with them to keep the crazies from taking over. There used to be a member here who was a minister in a very liberal Baptist church in ATL. I met him and his wife in person. Most of his church members were gay. We lost touch and I have no idea if he still believes, but people like him are our allies. if you need a bit of the supernatural in your life, use it for good and be accepting of those who don't.
