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Trump Surprises Troops With Visit

Jimmy Higgins

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Crimea, Russia - Despite being on holiday, President Donald Trump visited soldiers midday Sunday to offer his support. "These are difficult times," noted the President. "There is a war being waged against our values and we must defend them at all costs."

"Take my story for instance, I won an election in a record landslide. Does the media report that? No. My inauguration, the biggest attendance the nation's history, and the media posts fake news to suggest it wasn't. So I know about wars that need to be waged."

The military serving in the recently annexed area of Crimea was said to have been pleased, but a little surprised by Trump's visit.

"Big things are coming, I promise you that."
 
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