fast
Contributor
Throughout the years, I've heard on television news channels where family members of murder victims speak out about forgiving their family members murderer. I don't know what to think about that--I don't know how to think about that.
My original thoughts from awhile back are a little different than my new and more recent thoughts, but I'm cautious about solidifying my feelings on the issue. I know where I would stand if it happened to a family member of mine. I'd be riddled with unhealthy rage. I say I know, but what I think is different between myself and others who would claim the same is that my hate wouldn't subside.
I understand that the hate filled minds of most people that have had family members killed by cold-blooded killers can't withstand the negative psychological effects of long-term rage, so it stands to reason that a coping mechanism of sorts must kick in.
People who say positive things and talk about forgiveness or even love never has quite sit well with me, yet I'm reluctant to speak (or think) too negatively -- mostly out of respect --not for their views but empathy for the emotional ordeal they have had to endure.
The people always seem to be portrayed in a positive light, as if they are strong and deserving of respect. Well, for one, I have no cause nor desire to show anything but respect, but I don't know if I should silently think of them as weak. Don't get me wrong--I seriously doubt there is much positive benefit to not allowing oneself to transition between the grievance-like process. On the one hand, there is a process with coping with the death, but the process of coping with your feelings towards the killer is separate and distinct--I would suppose anyway.
So, while I understand how these people that turn to forgiveness are finding some inner peace (and I would in no way want to deny them that), I find myself having some negative, secretly held views--not bad or ugly views, just negative. Like I already mentioned, things never really have set too well with me, especially while listening to the interviews, but I just can't bring myself to admire their stance--it's probably more admirable than mine. I can't imagine my thoughts being anything short of sick and twisted, so forgiveness would likely be a stance shining brighter than anything I had to offer, but that extreme isn't the right comparison.
It just seems to me that a response of non-forgiveness and wanting punishment to the full extent of the law would be better than coming out publicly about forgiving the killers--and most certainly better than whatever might be going through my mind at the time.
My original thoughts from awhile back are a little different than my new and more recent thoughts, but I'm cautious about solidifying my feelings on the issue. I know where I would stand if it happened to a family member of mine. I'd be riddled with unhealthy rage. I say I know, but what I think is different between myself and others who would claim the same is that my hate wouldn't subside.
I understand that the hate filled minds of most people that have had family members killed by cold-blooded killers can't withstand the negative psychological effects of long-term rage, so it stands to reason that a coping mechanism of sorts must kick in.
People who say positive things and talk about forgiveness or even love never has quite sit well with me, yet I'm reluctant to speak (or think) too negatively -- mostly out of respect --not for their views but empathy for the emotional ordeal they have had to endure.
The people always seem to be portrayed in a positive light, as if they are strong and deserving of respect. Well, for one, I have no cause nor desire to show anything but respect, but I don't know if I should silently think of them as weak. Don't get me wrong--I seriously doubt there is much positive benefit to not allowing oneself to transition between the grievance-like process. On the one hand, there is a process with coping with the death, but the process of coping with your feelings towards the killer is separate and distinct--I would suppose anyway.
So, while I understand how these people that turn to forgiveness are finding some inner peace (and I would in no way want to deny them that), I find myself having some negative, secretly held views--not bad or ugly views, just negative. Like I already mentioned, things never really have set too well with me, especially while listening to the interviews, but I just can't bring myself to admire their stance--it's probably more admirable than mine. I can't imagine my thoughts being anything short of sick and twisted, so forgiveness would likely be a stance shining brighter than anything I had to offer, but that extreme isn't the right comparison.
It just seems to me that a response of non-forgiveness and wanting punishment to the full extent of the law would be better than coming out publicly about forgiving the killers--and most certainly better than whatever might be going through my mind at the time.