We did it! The Islamic State is no longer!

[Jimmy Higgins]

After an intense bombing campaign weakened the ISIS/ISIL (Issholes?) stronghold, intelligence agencies have confirmed that the top leaders of the group have fled the area that they had taken control of and now Syrian / Iraqi & Kurdish troops are retaking the areas. Slight bits of muffled celebration could be heard in the freed portions of the ISIS as the territories were retaken by an ineffectual government and a Dictator. A CIA source told us that because ISIS/ISIL has disbanded formally, they were forbidden from partaking in any further terror strikes for a 10 year period.

al Qaeda has shown an interest in taking the land formerly held by ISIS/ISIL, however, they were a week late in submitting the proper paperwork and it will likely be stuck in Sharia courts for the next few years.

Meanwhile, terrorist recruitment is down to a record level because the locals didn't mind their spouses, children, and family being splattered by bombs.

All is well in the Middle East!

 

[maxparrish]

After an intense bombing campaign weakened the ISIS/ISIL (Issholes?) stronghold, intelligence agencies have confirmed that the top leaders of the group have fled the area that they had taken control of and now Syrian / Iraqi & Kurdish troops are retaking the areas. Slight bits of muffled celebration could be heard in the freed portions of the ISIS as the territories were retaken by an ineffectual government and a Dictator. A CIA source told us that because ISIS/ISIL has disbanded formally, they were forbidden from partaking in any further terror strikes for a 10 year period.

al Qaeda has shown an interest in taking the land formerly held by ISIS/ISIL, however, they were a week late in submitting the proper paperwork and it will likely be stuck in Sharia courts for the next few years.

Meanwhile, terrorist recruitment is down to a record level because the locals didn't mind their spouses, children, and family being splattered by bombs.

All is well in the Middle East!

Have had your tap water tested?

 

[Nice Squirrel]

After an intense bombing campaign weakened the ISIS/ISIL (Issholes?) stronghold, intelligence agencies have confirmed that the top leaders of the group have fled the area that they had taken control of and now Syrian / Iraqi & Kurdish troops are retaking the areas. Slight bits of muffled celebration could be heard in the freed portions of the ISIS as the territories were retaken by an ineffectual government and a Dictator. A CIA source told us that because ISIS/ISIL has disbanded formally, they were forbidden from partaking in any further terror strikes for a 10 year period.

al Qaeda has shown an interest in taking the land formerly held by ISIS/ISIL, however, they were a week late in submitting the proper paperwork and it will likely be stuck in Sharia courts for the next few years.

Meanwhile, terrorist recruitment is down to a record level because the locals didn't mind their spouses, children, and family being splattered by bombs.

All is well in the Middle East!

Have had your tap water tested?

Don't. Been sitting on water resources board all month. You folks really don't want to know.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

After an intense bombing campaign weakened the ISIS/ISIL (Issholes?) stronghold, intelligence agencies have confirmed that the top leaders of the group have fled the area that they had taken control of and now Syrian / Iraqi & Kurdish troops are retaking the areas. Slight bits of muffled celebration could be heard in the freed portions of the ISIS as the territories were retaken by an ineffectual government and a Dictator. A CIA source told us that because ISIS/ISIL has disbanded formally, they were forbidden from partaking in any further terror strikes for a 10 year period.

al Qaeda has shown an interest in taking the land formerly held by ISIS/ISIL, however, they were a week late in submitting the proper paperwork and it will likely be stuck in Sharia courts for the next few years.

Meanwhile, terrorist recruitment is down to a record level because the locals didn't mind their spouses, children, and family being splattered by bombs.

All is well in the Middle East!

Have had your tap water tested?

Or maybe he has his months and days confused. It's not April 1 where I live.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I think the point I'm trying to make is this weird false dichotomy of the War on ISIS. If ISIS is defeated, the game credits don't start rolling and you do a fist pump.

The talk seems to be about defeating ISIS, not what comes after ISIS. We are spending hundreds of billions on security and to what end? The defeated ISIS just disappears. The disaffected and wannabee terrorists online just stop being interested? The war against ISIS isn't on the ground, it is in the Internet. And even if ISIS loses its ground, it hasn't lost the ground it has made online, which will certainly be taken advantage of by the next group.

 

[funinspace]

What could possibly emerge from a somoliaized Yeman, eastern Syria, western Iraq, and Libya?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

What could possibly emerge from a somoliaized Yeman, eastern Syria, western Iraq, and Libya?

You mean other than status quo?

 

[funinspace]

What could possibly emerge from a somoliaized Yeman, eastern Syria, western Iraq, and Libya?

You mean other than status quo?

Well, things have changed in Afghanistan. The rebels have gained control of only about 10% of the districts since the US ended its....uh...occupation/nation building/fuck-i-don't-know...in June 2014; starting a new chapter called "advise and assist". And in Yemen, the US and NATO aren't actually the ones running a country thru the shredder. Though we are selling the bombs and missiles to our tent buddies...

 

[Crazy Eddie]

You mean other than status quo?

Well, things have changed in Afghanistan. The rebels have gained control of only about 10% of the districts since the US ended its....uh...occupation/nation building/fuck-i-don't-know...in June 2014; starting a new chapter called "advise and assist". And in Yemen, the US and NATO aren't actually the ones running a country thru the shredder. Though we are selling the bombs and missiles to our tent buddies...

Yeah...

Wow...

We're REALLY fucking this up, aren't we?

 

[arkirk]

After an intense bombing campaign weakened the ISIS/ISIL (Issholes?) stronghold, intelligence agencies have confirmed that the top leaders of the group have fled the area that they had taken control of and now Syrian / Iraqi & Kurdish troops are retaking the areas. Slight bits of muffled celebration could be heard in the freed portions of the ISIS as the territories were retaken by an ineffectual government and a Dictator. A CIA source told us that because ISIS/ISIL has disbanded formally, they were forbidden from partaking in any further terror strikes for a 10 year period.

al Qaeda has shown an interest in taking the land formerly held by ISIS/ISIL, however, they were a week late in submitting the proper paperwork and it will likely be stuck in Sharia courts for the next few years.

Meanwhile, terrorist recruitment is down to a record level because the locals didn't mind their spouses, children, and family being splattered by bombs.

All is well in the Middle East!

Yup!