So, the simple way to solve this problem is to charge a fee to hook up to the grid, and then buy and sell energy on the grid like any other commodity, rather than having the cost of connection and maintenance buried in the cost of energy.
Why are people so worked up about something that can be solved by accountants?
Because it would be an awful lot of accountants. A household with rooftop solar may become efficient enough to produce more electricity that it consumes, but it produces only during the day, and consumes at least some energy at night. The cost of a few large providers doing this on the interchange level or switching on or off on the scale of entire power plants is one thing, but tracking and switching for millions of households is more of a task. Really you need a technology solution, both for the tracking and the switching, and even then keeping track of everything is expensive.
It's not impossible, but it's not particularly easy either.
And utilities can make demands of industrial customers that they can't of home users.
My former employer had some problems with the power company--something wasn't good enough in the supply system. We blew up a couple of the power company's transformers even though we weren't drawing too much--no breakers were tripping. The real problem was undersized transformers that made invalid assumptions about peak loads--even though we staged our start-up loads to keep the load down their transformers couldn't handle it. Rather than put in a big enough one they made us stage the loads enough to keep their transformers from exploding. (And of course we had to pay for the extra power to keep those motors spinning during the staging process.)