Free cars, and other stuff, September 25th!

I am not anti Jesus or Yahweh. You are inventing an enemy because it makes you feel good to believe it.

Christians love to play the victim. Jesus the ultimate victim. A bloody crown of thorns and crucified. It is a cult of pain.

I do not like Christians who demand I believe like they do.
I do not like a lot of what Christians do based on interpreting the Holy Babel.

Over here Jews who generally just want to live within their community are at the top of the hate crime list. Attacked historically by Christians.

I associate hypocrisy with Christians.

An old saying, your right to extend your elbow ends at my nose.

I do not hate Jesus or Yahweh. I take it as mythology no different than any other. Indifference.

We're almost a week out from the dud Rapture. It was based on a vision from a South African preacher, which somehow got some of the faithful itchin' and boogie'n. To keep the party going, I would like to propose a few more Rapture dates. And who's to say my vision isn't as good as Preacher Mhlaleka's?
December 13, 1925 - Dick Van Dyke's 100th birthday. Just feels right. God keeps him alive for a reason.
Okay, if that doesn't grab you, there's a whole confluence of events around March 18-20 of 2026. If this doesn't convince you to sell your belongings and give the money to the poor (or me), well, nothing will. This is what's coming down in less than 6 months:
March 18, 2026: 13th anniversary of the return (read: Resurrection) of Twinkies to the grocery shelves.
March 19, 2026: 14th anniversary of death of Fred Phelps (a self-declared man of God)
March 20: 172nd anniversary of founding of Republican Party and 96th anniversary of founding of KFC.

I am putting my reputation as a prognosticator on the line. I realize that. You can withhold your praise until mid-December or third week of March, depending. My faith is strong. How about yours?

Rapture in 1925?

HG Wells involved?

Good news, the Rapture is still on. Pastor Mhlakela realized he was using the wrong calendar. Don't try to think about how it works, just go with it and go with God. You have till October 7th now.

ideologyhunter said:

We're almost a week out from the dud Rapture. It was based on a vision from a South African preacher, which somehow got some of the faithful itchin' and boogie'n. To keep the party going, I would like to propose a few more Rapture dates. And who's to say my vision isn't as good as Preacher Mhlaleka's?
December 13, 1925 - Dick Van Dyke's 100th birthday. Just feels right. God keeps him alive for a reason.
Okay, if that doesn't grab you, there's a whole confluence of events around March 18-20 of 2026. If this doesn't convince you to sell your belongings and give the money to the poor (or me), well, nothing will. This is what's coming down in less than 6 months:
March 18, 2026: 13th anniversary of the return (read: Resurrection) of Twinkies to the grocery shelves.
March 19, 2026: 14th anniversary of death of Fred Phelps (a self-declared man of God)
March 20: 172nd anniversary of founding of Republican Party and 96th anniversary of founding of KFC.

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I hope this isn't too much of an inconvenience, but could you be so kind to add a date around September 2026, because I promised to hold the next family BBQ around July or August at the latest.

ideologyhunter said:

I am putting my reputation as a prognosticator on the line. I realize that. You can withhold your praise until mid-December or third week of March, depending. My faith is strong. How about yours?

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Yes your faith is strong but please don't forget my BBQ next year request?

Mucho grassy arse, amigo

The apostles thought the end was near. Christians have thought it was jusr around the corner since then,

The primary biblical basis for the Rapture is 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, where it says the dead in Christ will rise first, and living believers will be "caught up" in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. However, the term "Rapture" itself is not in the Bible; it comes from the Latin word for "snatched away" that translates the Greek word harpazõ from the 1 Thessalonians passage. While some interpretations see this as a secret removal of believers from earthly judgment, others view it as the public, triumphant return of Christ to earth, followed by a resurrection, with the "caught up" believers escorting him back to earth.

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Christian eschatology is the theological study of the "last things" or end times, focusing on the ultimate destiny of humanity and the cosmos
. Drawn from the Greek words eschatos ("last") and logos ("study"), it explores concepts such as Jesus's Second Coming, the resurrection of the dead, final judgment, the millennium, and the New Heaven and New Earth.

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Weaving current events to fit interpreted biblical prophesy is standard Evangelical theology.

Call the nuer on the TV screen and get a free copy of the book that explains how we are in end times as foretold in the bible...

One that came and went was based in the eagle, bear, and dragon fomm the bible. They became the USA, Russia, and China.

In the Bible, the bear, eagle, and dragon appear in symbolic visions of kingdoms and spiritual powers, primarily in the books of Daniel and Revelation. The bear represents the Medo-Persian Empire, while the eagle is part of the four living creatures in visions by Ezekiel and John, representing a face of a cherub and a symbol for one of the evangelists. The dragon, identified as Satan, is the ultimate source of power for a beast described in Revelation that has features of a leopard, a bear, and a lion.
Bear

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Another is a modern prophesy that for Jesus to return the Jerusalem temple will be restored and the old rituals will be restarted.

It is part of the change in Evangelical antisemitism to support for Israel. Modern Israel is part o an end tines prophesy.

The Jerusalem Syndrome. Christians vising Jerusalem hear voices and see things.

Israeli has played it up organizing Chieftain tors for Americans.

blastula said:

Good news, the Rapture is still on. Pastor Mhlakela realized he was using the wrong calendar. Don't try to think about how it works, just go with it and go with God. You have till October 7th now.

South African preacher sets new date for Rapture

The belief that the end days were imminent first made headlines when Mhlakela shared his claims about the rapture in a YouTube video.

www.jacarandafm.com

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Thank god! I was starting to think that this was all bullshit.

October 7 or 8. Got it. I am ready. Cashed out my investments, zeroed my checking account. Claimed my reward at Subway. I'm ready to fly the friendly skies of...Jesus. Sorry, I thought that would sound zippy, but it's lame.
One question, fellow believers. What if it's Rapture Time, and you start to go up, and there's a hailstorm? Or tornado? I want to be part of the New Whatever, but I'm no extremist. Suggestions?

Just remember, not shorts, and if shorts, use underwear, preferably clean.

You think they'll stay clean if I see a tornado comin'??

Or Jesus with a machine gun.