Clearly, Trump has met up with Scrooge's fourth ghost. We are about to see the Love Trump. The rollout will be swift and stunning.
Tues. 11/25: Trump appears on Kimmel; dances to What the World Needs Now; brings Matt Damon onstage and gets Kimmel and Damon to hug.
Thanksgiving, 11/27: Trump pardons a Christmas turkey and Ghislaine Maxwell, but also James Comey, Leticia James, John Bolton, Jack Smith, Adam Schiff, and even Manuel Padilla (who leaked photos of Trump being dressed in Double Jumbo Depends.)
Sat. 11/29: Trump cancels all pending tariffs and grandpa-dances to O Canada for 30 minutes on the Rose Garden/concrete plaza
Mon. 12/1: Trump hires Kilmar Abrego Garcia as White House greeter at $75,000/year plus benefits. He and Malaria adopt a Haitian orphan, "Voodoo Tommy"
Thurs. 12/4: Trump invites MTG to the WH. That night, with a windmill-powered vibrator, he takes her to places that, in her words, "the folks in my sweet district aint dreamed of."
Fri 12/5: ICE instructed to round up all undocumented aliens in Portland, Miami, NYC, Chicago, Charlotte, and 55 other municipalities, and transport them to giant tented ice cream soda parties.
But....but....but...
Wed. 12/24: Eric, Don Jr, and Ivanka have a sitdown with dad, at which he discovers that MAGA purchases of Trump coins, Malaria coins, and all Trump merch have basically evaporated.
Christmas: FCC moves against Kimmel for mortgage fraud; Trump wrings a turkey's neck on Fox and Friends; the Gang of Six (Comey through Padilla, see above) are indicted on sedition charges; 90% tariffs on everyone but the Russkies; Trump sends actual poop plane to bombard Ottawa; Kilmar deported to South Sudan, and Voodoo Tommy to 'some shithole country near Chad'; Trump releases MTG sex tape with his image blacked out; ice cream soda parties are scheduled with Darvon floats -- partiers awake about an hour after takeoff.
"And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. And so, as Tiny Tim observed, 'God bless us, every one!'"