170 hostages taken in Mali

[Metaphor]

Update: More details emerging; apparently it's not as easy as 'quote a Koranic passage':

Kassim Traoré, a Malian journalist who was in a building about 50 metres from the Radisson, said the attackers had told hostages to recite a declaration of Muslim faith as a way separating Muslims from non-Muslims.

Those who could recite the declaration, the Shahada, were allowed to leave the hotel. The al-Shabab, an al-Qaeda affiliate in East Africa, used a similar approach in the attack at the Westgate Mall in Nairobi in 2013.

Now if it happens that you are taken prisoner by somebody, and they just happen to ask you to recite the Shahada (but remember nobody has ever done anything because of religion, it's just a coincidence), call their bluff and recite it!

There is no god but God. Muhammad is the messenger of God.

I can't tell if you need to ululate at the end or not.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

What if you say it with an American accent?

 

[Metaphor]

What if you say it with an American accent?

They'd probably let you join them. There's no zealot like a converted zealot.

 

[Barbarian]

There is no god but God. Muhammad is the messenger of God.

Pet peeve of mine coming up: the 'la ilaha ill-Allah' part of the Shahada doesn't say this. It means, literally, 'no worshipping [anything] except God'. Other parts of Islamic theology make it clear they believe absolutely no other gods exist, but this isn't one of those passages.

ETA: so, since you can run into trouble no matter which English translation you use, in such a case just say 'la ilaha ill-Allah wa Muhammadun rasul'. It probably won't work, but at least you will have tried.