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America Split on If Trump's Farts Smell

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Jimmy Higgins

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WASHINGTON DC -- A recent Reuters/Ipsos poll indicated that only 57% of Americans thought or probably thought President Trump's farts smell. The poll was investigated after a bizarre comment by the President during a news conference where he said regarding Biden, "...and unlike me, his farts smell."

During protests over the weekend, some people were seen carrying signs reading "Biden Stinks" and "No Fear From Trump's Rear".

Reuters/Ipsos reached out to 3,200 people and asked whether they believed the President's farts smelled. Slightly over 1 in 5 responded that the President's farts definitely did not smell.

As would be expected, there was a partisan divided, with Democrats mostly reporting they though the President's farts would smell and Republicans thinking they did not. Independents in general, leaned to the side, and thought they smelled.
 
The Secret Service, many of whose agents spend time in close proximity to all US presidents, would not comment.
Nor would current aides and appointees.
Prospective appointees all state that there are no odors attached to Ex-President-Elect Trump's bodily emissions.
Former appointees, especially those fired by tweet, unanimously suggest there is smell, though the degree claimed varies. Scaramucci compared his post-lunch output to a burning dumpster, while Sessions said, "It's no worse than a dead mouse under the washing machine in the basement."
 
Anyway, they're not called farts. They're trumps. As in, you know, 'Honey, did you just trump?' The long high-pitched ones that go Ftt-weeeeeee are called tweeties. The deep sudden ones are called barrtrumps. The old-style term shart is now shartrump.
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
WASHINGTON DC -- A recent Reuters/Ipsos poll indicated that only 57% of Americans thought or probably thought President Trump's farts smell. The poll was investigated after a bizarre comment by the President during a news conference where he said regarding Biden, "...and unlike me, his farts smell."

During protests over the weekend, some people were seen carrying signs reading "Biden Stinks" and "No Fear From Trump's Rear".

Reuters/Ipsos reached out to 3,200 people and asked whether they believed the President's farts smelled. Slightly over 1 in 5 responded that the President's farts definitely did not smell.

As would be expected, there was a partisan divided, with Democrats mostly reporting they though the President's farts would smell and Republicans thinking they did not. Independents in general, leaned to the side, and thought they smelled.
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Why don't we depose Lawyer Ellis on this matter, since she's had recent experience smelling old man farts?
 
MICHIGAN -- Armed protesters alleging voter fraud surrounded the home of Michigan’s secretary of state. About two dozen protesters chanted “Stop the Smell” and accused Benson, a Democrat and Michigan’s chief election officer, of smelling widespread Trumpian farts.
 
It's very rude to post stories from The Onion or other satire sites without providing a clue that it's satire. Some of us, especially me, are quite gullible.
 
Swammerdami said:
It's very rude to post stories from The Onion or other satire sites without providing a clue that it's satire. Some of us, especially me, are quite gullible.
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In my defense, it is original material. I don't plagiarize. Regardless, you can't tell me it is definitively not true either. :D Things have gotten so screwy with Red Hats, you really have no idea what they are willing to believe.
 
fromderinside said:
Uh, Trump farted a tweet storm, or, Trump tweeted a fart storm, or Trump stormed out tweeting farts, or Trump whumps fart tweeting or fart tweeted whump Trumps, or tweeting Trump whump farts.

Or


Or


fergitaboutit Pfffftttt
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Trump, A Real Patron of the Farts.
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
As would be expected, there was a partisan divided, with Democrats mostly reporting they though the President's farts would smell and Republicans thinking they did not.
Click to expand...

Easily explained by the fact that the Republicans are COVID-ridden, and we all know what that does to the sense of smell.
 
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