an Islamic Exorcism in the Back of a Glaswegian Nail Salon

[Potoooooooo]

http://www.vice.com/read/i-went-to-an-islamic-exorcism-in-the-back-of-a-glaswegian-nail-salon-293


While I was at college, I'd wake up each morning to find my doormat covered in flyers. They were mostly promoting dirt-cheap jello shots, or dirt-cheap wings, or Eksman's Drum 'n Bass Birthday Bash (Ladies Free B4 10 PM)—all the usual suspects. But every now and then, among the pamphlets promoting activities bad for my general wellbeing, there would be the odd leaflet for "Islamic jinn removal services."

Jinn are supernatural beings mentioned regularly in the Quran, entities made of a smokeless "scorching fire" that are said to be capable of inhabiting human hosts. They supposedly have free will, meaning—like humans—they can decide if they want to be neutral, or good, or evil, pesky bastards, floating around, constantly on fire, whispering in ears, and leading benevolent souls to ruin.

Jinn removal, as you may have guessed, involves forcefully expelling one of these specters (known as a "jinni" in the singular) from the human body—which seemed like pretty heavy shit to be going on in the middle of British suburbia.

 

[Eldarion Lathria]

They should stop taking the jinn into their bodies, the usual forms are jinn and tonic, or jinn with vermouth in a martini, or some other mixed form. The best way to remove jinn is time, a lot of water and some good whisky. Being in Glazgo, they should be able to get some good blended, or a single malt, for not too much.

Eldarion Lathria

 

[Bullmoose Too]

I was sitting far away from my monitor and that the leaflet was about Islamic jizz removal services. Then I got closer and was sorely dissappointed.

 

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

They should stop taking the jinn into their bodies, the usual forms are jinn and tonic, or jinn with vermouth in a martini, or some other mixed form. The best way to remove jinn is time, a lot of water and some good whisky. Being in Glazgo, they should be able to get some good blended, or a single malt, for not too much.

Eldarion Lathria

Being in Glasgow, they're more likely to go with Buckfast.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Well, that's good. The Vatican is making mint these days through exorcisms and the Muslims would be fools to not try and get in on the racket.

 

[Draconis]

Exorcism works best when there's nothing there to start with.