Capitalism Invades The Bathroom

[ZiprHead]

New Toilet Makes Poop Breaks Uncomfortable So Employees Can’t Take Long Bathroom Breaks

Working sucks and one of the few things you can do to escape the grind is to take a nice long break in the bathroom. This is known by both every employee and every employer. There are companies that try to control how frequently and for how long employees use the bathroom like it’s some sort of totalitarian regime coughcoughAmazoncoughcough, but the laws of common decency still mostly hold in American workplaces. People go to the bathroom, and if it seems like they’re taking extra long in there to scroll through Twitter, well, no one will ask about it.

So, of course, someone came up with a way to ruin toilets. A start-up company called StandardToilet has created a john of the same name, and is being supported by the British Toilet Association, which is a group that campaigns for “better bathroom facilities in offices and public spaces,” according to the Daily Mail.

If that’s true, it’s a bit confusing why they want the StandardToilet out there, because the seat is deliberately tilted 13 degrees to make it uncomfortable to sit on for an extended period of time.

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

I would sit on that thing so long people would begin to wonder if I had died in there. With any luck, it would result in some sort of muscular strain which I could leverage into a suit.

Alternatively, I'd make a cushioned seat with the base at at the reciprocal angle so it sits level. Sure, I would look like a total tool taking it to the restroom, but what are they going to do about it?

To be honest, I never took long bathroom breaks when I worked in an office. I mean, we had a nap room available and no one monitored my work hours or time at my desk. But it's hard not to get your backside up at shit like this.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Looks like I’ll need to create a company to make a seat that levels it out.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Two door stops should do it...

 

[laughing dog]

I am surprised it took this long for someone to come up with such a product.

 

[Half-Life]

It's like you guys don't know anything about business. I learned way back in college during my Freshman year of college year that the #1 purpose of a business is to maximize shareholder wealth.

"Letting employees go to the bathroom and waste as much time as they want" was nowhere on the list.

 

[Keith&Co.]

It's like you guys don't know anything about business. I learned way back in college during my Freshman year of college year that the #1 purpose of a business is to maximize shareholder wealth.

"Letting employees go to the bathroom and waste as much time as they want" was nowhere on the list.

Did thry ever mention the relative productivity between workers who are cherished assets and those who feel like slave labor?

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

It's like you guys don't know anything about business. I learned way back in college during my Freshman year of college year that the #1 purpose of a business is to maximize shareholder wealth.

Ask for your tuition back. They took you for a ride.

"Letting employees go to the bathroom and waste as much time as they want" was nowhere on the list.

Must have been an interesting list.

How much time did the list allow for breathing, daily? How many litres of fluid were permissible for employees to consume? What methods of resolving an itchy ballsack were approved and which were prohibited?

Surely the list must have covered all that.

 

[Half-Life]

It's like you guys don't know anything about business. I learned way back in college during my Freshman year of college year that the #1 purpose of a business is to maximize shareholder wealth.

Ask for your tuition back. They took you for a ride.

"Letting employees go to the bathroom and waste as much time as they want" was nowhere on the list.

Must have been an interesting list.

How much time did the list allow for breathing, daily? How many litres of fluid were permissible for employees to consume? What methods of resolving an itchy ballsack were approved and which were prohibited?

Surely the list must have covered all that.

Nope. You can google it. It's the #1 goal of a business.

 

[Canard DuJour]

Workers of the world, smash the cistern - you have nothing to lose but your chains.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Ask for your tuition back. They took you for a ride.



Must have been an interesting list.

How much time did the list allow for breathing, daily? How many litres of fluid were permissible for employees to consume? What methods of resolving an itchy ballsack were approved and which were prohibited?

Surely the list must have covered all that.

Nope. You can google it. It's the #1 goal of a business.

Yeah, kis, do halfie's own homework to buttress his point.

Just ignore the edit whrre he changes from 'purpose of a business' to 'goal'.

 

[krypton iodine sulfur]

Ask for your tuition back. They took you for a ride.



Must have been an interesting list.

How much time did the list allow for breathing, daily? How many litres of fluid were permissible for employees to consume? What methods of resolving an itchy ballsack were approved and which were prohibited?

Surely the list must have covered all that.

Nope. You can google it. It's the #1 goal of a business.

Yeah, kis, do halfie's own homework to buttress his point.

Just ignore the edit whrre he changes from 'purpose of a business' to 'goal'.

In his defence, the purpoal of google is to generate revenue for the share holders, so really it doesn't matter for beans if googling it turned up anything useful anyway. The primary thing is that I'm generating traffic and ad revenue for the shareholders.

 

[DBT]

Not as bad as the place that took the doors off the stalls so that their employees could not take siestas. Or the engineering workshop where the personal officer timed people going in and out of the loo.

 

[rousseau]

It's like you guys don't know anything about business. I learned way back in college during my Freshman year of college year that the #1 purpose of a business is to maximize shareholder wealth.

"Letting employees go to the bathroom and waste as much time as they want" was nowhere on the list.

Did thry ever mention the relative productivity between workers who are cherished assets and those who feel like slave labor?

Yea, the worst functioning companies in my city have no respect for their workers, pay them like shit, and treat them with distrust. The idea that installing these toilets would lead to higher productivity is a massive fallacy and the result of executives with no capacity to actually make good decisions.

 

[RVonse]

The best ways to prevent non productive uses of time is simply to pay an incentive to employees. If they produce more they get paid more, simple as that. Since most people come to work to get paid, they are motivated to do exactly that.

There is no need to play games in the restroom. Especially in today's world where lawsuits are a big concern.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

I would deliberately slip off that toilet onto the floor and then sue the company.

 

[Worldtraveller]

If you really want to see the result of horrible humans and capitalism, check out Hostile Architecture.

Wonder how (not really) HL reconciles that with his supposed xianity.

 

[ronburgundy]

This is a good thing for public bathrooms, which is probably why the British Toilet Association supports it. Smart phones have increased the time people sit there occupying limited stalls, such that you increasingly find all the stalls full. I see this especially that airport where people are just waiting around anyway, so why not on the toilet.

Even in the workplace, these toilets may not be liked by those who like to sit there in solitude for 10-15 minutes (which I do sympathize with), but will be welcomed by their coworkers who will have to wait less often for a stall to free up.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Even in the workplace, these toilets may not be liked by those who like to sit there in solitude for 10-15 minutes (which I do sympathize with), but will be welcomed by their coworkers who will have to wait less often for a stall to free up.

Depends on the facilities. Where i work, there are plenty of restrooms with plenty of toilets. I don't think I've had to wait for a stall more than five times in the last 20 years. I have a bigger problem that the cleaners are in the restroom nearest my office when the plumbing decides it's time to Go.

So i would get absolutely no benefits from this scheme at work.

On the other hand, i can see your point about airports. Probably a better solution than my idea, which was an electric shock delivered after a certain time. And a display on the back of the stall door, showing the countdown. "The Camper Shock will be delivered in 4:47, 4:46, 4:45...10, 9, 8..."

 

[Gun Nut]

OMG, I am getting a protractor and taking a measurement... because after about 5 minutes sitting on my company toilets, my legs start to go numb.
If this is on purpose I am smashing shit, motherfuckers!