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CJ Roberts Seen Chasing After Bloodied President Trump in Avant Garde Ruling

Jimmy Higgins

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WASHINGTON DC -- A wailing and bruised President Trump was seen scurrying for his life with a black robed Chief Justice Roberts chasing after him with what appeared to be a bloodied bat. Witnessed stated the Chief Justice yelled out "You can't hide from the law you bastard!"

The event appeared to be a rare Avant Garde ruling by the Supreme Court with respect to the recent case that Texas had brought forth in an attempt to overthrow the Presidential Election results in four states that had voted for former Vice President Joe Biden. 17 states enjoined with the Texas's case as well as over 100 Congressional Republicans. It was currently unknown if the associate Supreme Court Justices were chasing after them.

The case was controversial for many reason, most of which concentrated around Original Jurisdiction, a generality of what cases could go directly to the Supreme Court cases such as border disputes and shotgun weddings. Avant Garde rulings are very rare and usually occur when it is feared a simple dismissal wouldn't get the point across.

Upon hearing of the attack, President Elect Joe Biden stated, "Looks like the Chief Justice beat me to it, but honestly, I'm getting too old for that head busting shit."
 
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