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Dem Operatives Pissed Off Fake GA Ballots Not Even Needed

Jimmy Higgins

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ATLANTA, GA -- Several "under the table" operatives have been working hard for the past two months creating fake identities, producing fake ballots, filling the ballots, and then putting the infrastructure in place to have them get inserted into piles for them to be counted. However, this conspiracy ran into one problem.

The Democrat candidates won straight up.

"I worked my butt off," noted Wendell Smith. "I spent most of my holiday time away from my family to make certain that these forged credentials were unimpeachable. And only to find out we didn't need a single one of them."

Indeed, the victory margin for both Democrat candidates is likely to be over 0.5%, the threshold for the allowing of recounts. Rev. Warnock won by over 1 percent, making the 14,000 forged ballots entirely wasted effort and now need to be shredded and burned to destroy the evidence.

"I could have celebrated New Years with my family, but nooooo... I had to be forging social security accounts and faking Facebook account profiles for pretend 30somethings . Do you have any idea how hard it is to hack into university records and create fake diplomas?!"

While the Democrats will celebrate taking control of the US Senate from the Republicans, there are at least a dozen or so people that aren't quite as happy.
 
I guess telling them to drop their same-day ballots in the mail slot at Four Seasons Total Bakery did the trick, then.
 
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