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Donald Trump's Nightmare

lpetrich

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In the 1950's, Bertrand Russell wrote "Nightmares of Eminent Persons", and one of them was Josef Stalin's Nightmare. World War III ends with the Soviet dictator being captured and with some pacifist activists getting to work on them.
He had been acquainted with these men in the days of his greatness. Not long before the outbreak of the Third World War they had journeyed to Moscow to plead with him and endeavor to convince him of the error of his ways. They had talked to him of universal benevolence and Christian love. They had spoken in glowing terms of the joys of meekness, and had tried to persuade him that there is more happiness in being loved than in being feared. For a little while he had listened with a patience produced by astonishment, and then he had burst out at them. "What do you gentleman know of the joys of life?" he had stormed. "How little you understand of the intoxicating delight of dominating a whole nation by terror, knowing that almost all desire your death and that none can compass it, knowing that your enemies throughout the world are engaged in futile attempts to guess your secret thoughts, knowing that your power will survive the extermination not only of your enemies but of your friends. No, gentlemen, the way of life you offer does not attract me. Go back to your pettifogging pursuit of profit gilded with a pretense of piety, but leave me to my more heroic way of life."

Let's see what Donald Trump's nightmare might be. As a hint, I'll quote from No, Oprah is not going to be a viable Democratic candidate (2018 Jan 11):
In some ways, they’re perfectly good representatives of the yin and yang of our two political parties. Donald Trump: xenophobic, angry, crude, white male. Oprah Winfrey: kind, sympathetic, open, black female. They’re almost caricatures of the right and left. All they need to do is open their mouths in a public forum and stand there like the apotheosis of their representative parties, and people start clamoring to make them our real political leaders.
So would it be Oprah Winfrey becoming President?
 
Donald Trump woke up, and he looked around. The room he was in looked like some hospital room, but a lot of the equipment was unfamiliar-looking. "Wh-what happened?"

A nurse showed up, introduced herself as Flo Bird, and explained to him that he was in a long coma. "We decided to revive you now because, ... well, it's a long story." He tried to sit up, without much success. "Lie back," said Flo, "you're not in good shape."

He gradually recovered his strength, and a few days later, he sat up and looked around. It looked like a hospital room, but some of the equipment looked a bit odd. Flo showed up and asked him how he was feeling. "Great," he responded. But he soon had to lie down again.

Over the next days, he started eating solid food and walking around the hospital. But when he checked out the news, he got the shock of his life. Secretary of State Ilhan Omar was in the Republic of Yamama about some business or other. Secretary of State Omar??? Trump thought to himself "This is HORRIBLE."

About this Republic of Yamama, Trump asked around and he found that it was once Saudi Arabia. That nation had suffered a horrible civil war in the 2020's, a war which ended its monarchy. The winners renamed their nation the Republic of Yamama to show that they were making a clean break with the House of Saud.

Trump then found out about Secretary of Defense Abigail Spanberger, Secretary of Health and Human Services Rashida Tlaib, Department of Justice head Ayanna Pressley, Commerce Secretary Katie Porter, and most horrible of all, President Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

That evening, some hospital staff and patients gathered in a room to watch a speech that AOC was to deliver, and Trump joined them. AOC looked middle-aged, but still very recognizable. She spoke on Green New Deal initiatives in the US and elsewhere, thanking all the people involved in them, and how they are having some success in getting the excess carbon dioxide out of our planet's atmosphere and moderating the climate. She talked about how she was once worried about having children, but that the progress in controlling the CO2 levels encouraged her to have three of them. She also seemed magnanimous about how the oil companies survived as synthetic-fuel companies, and she seemed pleased that wind energy and solar energy were not ruled by corporate oligarchies in the fashion of fossil fuels. Massive planting of CO2-capture farms and forests was well underway.

The others liked AOC's speech, but he was grumpy. Nobody could possibly be anything other than a spiteful, vindictive narcissist, he thought.

With that thought, he awakened. He was still in the White House, and what he experienced was a nightmare.
 
I'll add some more. Secretary of Transportation Ro Khanna, head of the National Security Council Elissa Slotkin, Immigration and Naturalization Service head Jessica Cisneros, ...

Many of these people came into Congress during the 2018 midterm elections, and they helped the Democrats take over the House. Unlike Obama, Trump didn't express his feelings of defeat in public, but he felt that defeat. Now for this Class of 2018 to take over the government -- what a horrible nightmare.


Trump asked Flo Bird about what everybody thinks about his Presidency, and Flo looked him in the eye and said "I have some bad news about that. Very very bad news."
"What kind of bad news?"
"Ready?"
Trump was annoyed, but he said "Go ahead."
"Donald, you think very highly of yourself and you think that you are greatly skilled, but many people have other opinions of you." Flo was trying to be as gentle as she could.
"Other opinions? Wh-what?"
"Donald, I hate to have to break this very bad news to you, but everybody nowadays thinks that your presidency was one of the worst in this nation's history."
Trump could barely speak. "What?"
"Yes, your presidency is considered one of the worst ever."
"How can that be? Everybody loves me. I did great."

After some more back-and-forth, Flo called up an article on assessments of the Trump Presidency with her tablet. She read about the numerous negatives of the Trump presidency - perpetual bragging about being the best, nepotism, encouragement of bullying, xenophobia, keeping immigrants in nasty conditions, banning Muslims, demanding that four Congresswomen return to their home countries, being suspiciously friendly to Vladimir Putin and other strongman leaders, willingly accepting Russian assistance for getting elected, bullying another country to start an investigation that is related to a political opponent, and a totally inept and negligent response to the Pandemic of 2020.

Trump protested "That's totally unfair. That's totally biased. That's fake news. Look at all the good I did."
Flo looked at the article. "The historians find very little that was positive in Trump's presidency," she said.
"But I created jobs. The market rose. America was much better off than under Obama."
Flo read some more of the article. "Look at this," she said. "There is at least one historian who describes the 'myth' of Trump as a great economy manager'."
"Fake news! What's going on? Do they all hate me?"
"No, they don't hate you. They are trying to be objective."
 
Trump's biggest nightmare would be if the Dems sent sleepy Joe to the retirement home and drafted Gov Cuomo.
 
Trump awakened. He found himself in a dark room, and when he squinted his eyes he could see a ghastly figure looming in the shadows.

"Is this supposed to be some kind of nightmare?", Trump exclaimed, "I don't scare so easily! I've seen worse ghosts in the RNC. Show yourself, fiend! Is it you, Mitch McConnell? Or maybe Brett Kavanaugh?"

"No, it's me, your son Eric..." the figure replied.

Trump scoffed. "Eric?? Who let you out of the broom closet? No matter, I'll just call secret service and..."

"... and your only child and heir. Good morning dad!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 
Here's a bit from my Nexus version:
Donald gradually recovered his strength, and his family came in to meet him. They were visibly aged, and his son Barron was now a full-grown man. When he asked them what everybody thinks of his presidency, Ivanka said “I have some very bad news for you, Dad.”

“What?”

“Everybody hates you. They consider you the worst president ever.”

“What? How?” He had a hard time grasping that.

“They think of you as a mass murderer, someone who was inexcusably negligent in the Great Plague of 2020.”

“Huh? I did a great job stopping it.”

“That’s not what everybody nowadays thinks. Seriously, Dad, defending you is an uphill battle, and I’ve pretty much stopped trying.”

She paused. “I’d even decided to change my last name to avoid association with you. I’m now Ivanka Kushner.” Barron said that he is now Barron Knauss, Donald Jr. now Donald Haydon, and Eric now Eric Yunaska, using their mothers’ and wives’ original last names. Donald Jr. conceded that his mother’s last name was too much of a tongue-twister.
It's Zelníčková
 
Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:
"A few things spring to mind.
Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.
For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.
So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.
Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.
I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.
Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.
There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.
Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.
Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.
And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.
Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.
He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.
He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.
And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.
That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.
There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.
So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.
After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.
God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.
He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.
In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.
And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:
'My God… what… have… I… created?
If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."
 
Jesus, that's good! Sounds like Christopher Hitchens (who is much to be missed in the Trump Era.)
My one? I'm flattered.

I remembered Tiffany Trump - she'd be Tiffany Maples, using her mother's last name.

I'm thinking of adding to President AOC's speech in it:

"Everybody's talking about how Donald Trump has been awakened and how he is now doing well. I'd like to welcome him back. Donald, if you are listening, welcome to our time. I know that many of you call him '45', but I like to call him by his real name."

She then described her experience of him and what he was like as a President.

"Everybody asks what we should do about him, and we have addressed that issue. We have considered his career and his personal character and we have issued an executive order that gives him a legal guardian, one who will manage all his assets, one who will manage food and housing and medical care and other such things for him. We have decided on that because he has a long history of reckless and vindictive and uncaring and irresponsible and bigoted and narcissistic behavior, behavior that has involved claiming superior knowledge and skill that he does not possess, behavior that has cost our nation an enormous number of lives and caused a lot of disruption in the Great Plague of 2020. His children have protested that this executive order will treat him like a child, and they may appeal it if they wish."

"Thank you all for watching me, and good night."
 
Jesus, that's good! Sounds like Christopher Hitchens (who is much to be missed in the Trump Era.)
My one? I'm flattered.

I remembered Tiffany Trump - she'd be Tiffany Maples, using her mother's last name.

I'm thinking of adding to President AOC's speech in it:

"Everybody's talking about how Donald Trump has been awakened and how he is now doing well. I'd like to welcome him back. Donald, if you are listening, welcome to our time. I know that many of you call him '45', but I like to call him by his real name."

She then described her experience of him and what he was like as a President.

"Everybody asks what we should do about him, and we have addressed that issue. We have considered his career and his personal character and we have issued an executive order that gives him a legal guardian, one who will manage all his assets, one who will manage food and housing and medical care and other such things for him. We have decided on that because he has a long history of reckless and vindictive and uncaring and irresponsible and bigoted and narcissistic behavior, behavior that has involved claiming superior knowledge and skill that he does not possess, behavior that has cost our nation an enormous number of lives and caused a lot of disruption in the Great Plague of 2020. His children have protested that this executive order will treat him like a child, and they may appeal it if they wish."

"Thank you all for watching me, and good night."

I think he's referring to the Nate White piece I posted.
 
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