Jimmy Higgins
Contributor
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2001
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- Calvinistic Atheist
WASHINGTON DC -- President Trump, also known as the "King of Israel", pronounced before a large crowd with his arms spread high and wide and in a loud thundering voice that "all would be prosperous". This was followed by dramatic display of lightning and thunder which subsided as Trump crossed his arms. The DOW average reacted to The Second Coming of God's statement by initially going up 350 points before retracting down to a good gain of 250 points as some investors sold out to gain profits on the rise.
The King of Israel continued indicating that a recession could "only come forth by the acts of Satan", but he would repel the "demon spirit" and "plunge the recessionary beast back into the pits hell." After a raucous ovation, the President stated that additional tax cuts would be coming to ensure prosperity, which was then followed by a number of cherubs floating down from the sky and surrounding our Lord.
Senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway stated, "Our Messiah's pronouncement is a continuing sign that all Americans will benefit from his Presidency. The Democrats should finally stop their partisan interference and repent to our leader."
The King of Israel continued indicating that a recession could "only come forth by the acts of Satan", but he would repel the "demon spirit" and "plunge the recessionary beast back into the pits hell." After a raucous ovation, the President stated that additional tax cuts would be coming to ensure prosperity, which was then followed by a number of cherubs floating down from the sky and surrounding our Lord.
Senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway stated, "Our Messiah's pronouncement is a continuing sign that all Americans will benefit from his Presidency. The Democrats should finally stop their partisan interference and repent to our leader."
