Finally! The missing key to Christ's return

[SLD]

https://www.theonion.com/jesus-announces-plans-to-return-once-the-dow-clears-27-1830155761

Buy, buy, buy!

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Damn. That was my magic number for retirement.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Damn. That was my magic number for retirement.

So you're going to retire from Earth?

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

I had planned just a regular retirement, but now I’m apparently going to burn in Hell instead of moving to the beach.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

With global warming they might be equivalent by the time you reach retirement age.