God Grants Permission to Check Out His Butt

[ideologyhunter]

My current favorite scripture is Exodus 33:23, where God gives Moses a heads-up on how they will split up when the law-giving is done. (They're both up on Mt. Sinai.) God will put Moses in a cleft of the rock and cover him up with his hand while he goes by, so that Moses won't see his face. But it's okay for Moses to get an eyeful of his back, or as the King James endearingly puts it, "my back parts"!!! So here's a supernatural, extra-corporeal entity who has hands, a face, and, I may be interpolating here, butt cheeks. (I've always thought he had gills, too, because that would be awesome.) Now, I would like some devout believers who have had visions to testify to seeing God's butt. It's such a humanizing detail, if you will -- one that makes God cuddly and palsy. "Hey, you checkin' out my butt?!"

 

[James Brown]

Since Jehovah loved the aroma of Noah's sacrifices, this means that God also has nostrils. And, one would presume, boogers.

 

[jonJ]

"Do these Commandments make my butt look big?"

 

[aeebee50]

I do not worry about people's butts only what they do. I could not win a beauty contest. My belly and love handles are the worse.