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Helicopter parenting, the results

 
 
 
Personally, I prefer that people who cannot cope with the real world to be in psychiatric care rather than possibly walking around with weapons or posting on the internet.
 
SimpleDon said:
Loren Pechtel said:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abilash-gopal-md/helicopter-parenting-has-_b_9657534.html

Idiots who end up in psychiatric care because they can't cope with the real world.
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Are you never happy? You blame poor academic performance of the poor on insufficient parenting. Now you have discovered problems with too much parenting.

This is a joke, of course.
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And the very best part is that he has no children, so he has no personal experience basis for judging any of it.
 
RavenSky said:
SimpleDon said:
Are you never happy? You blame poor academic performance of the poor on insufficient parenting. Now you have discovered problems with too much parenting.

This is a joke, of course.
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And the very best part is that he has no children, so he has no personal experience basis for judging any of it.
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I have two grown and very successful children. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how to raise children. To this day my wife and I have absolutely no idea what we did right and what we did wrong. It is more of a mystery now than it seemed to be at the time.
 
SimpleDon said:
RavenSky said:
And the very best part is that he has no children, so he has no personal experience basis for judging any of it.
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I have two grown and very successful children. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how to raise children. To this day my wife and I have absolutely no idea what we did right and what we did wrong. It is more of a mystery now than it seemed to be at the time.
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I suspect most of us parents feel that way, which makes it all the more funny when Loren tries to tell parents what they should or should not do :p

I will also note that the OP author is working from a skewed database. He claims to see a correlation between "helicopter parenting" and the mental health of the older teenagers he treats; however his data group consists of only older teenagers he treats. He has no insight into well-adjusted teenagers and young adults who may have had what some people disparagingly call "helicopter parents".

I also think the label becomes (like so many other labels) less descriptive of the person it is applied to and more about the bias of the finger-pointer.
 
SimpleDon said:
RavenSky said:
And the very best part is that he has no children, so he has no personal experience basis for judging any of it.
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I have two grown and very successful children. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how to raise children. To this day my wife and I have absolutely no idea what we did right and what we did wrong. It is more of a mystery now than it seemed to be at the time.
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Right. I have three, two of who I'm really proud of and one who, well... I'll leave it at that. What was different between all of them in terms of how they were raised?

Hell if I know. Do I go around taking credit for the good? Nope. They are who they are. But I do feel like hell about my kid who's so jacked up.

It's complicated.

"Helicopter Parenting" is an annoyance, but nothing more. They're the parents on Facebook who are constantly posting everything their kid does---they live through their kids. I unfollow these people because they bug the hell out of me. Do they do a better job of parenting? Hell if I know. More importantly, I don't care.

As for people without kids who think they know how to raise kids, I don't take them seriously. One of the things you learn pretty fast is that kids aren't robots. You can raise two kids the exact same way and get very different results. You also learn you aren't an all-powerful demi-god who's word is law that's faithfully adhered to. And there's that really pesky person--AKA the other parent who may either suddenly diverge from the plan or, more likely, you realize, "Oh fuck. We didn't think this through anywhere near as much as we thought we did."
 
Well, raising kids should be hit/miss. After all, you do get to keep trying until you get it right.

Most important job a person can ever have and we approach it by throwing crap at the wall and seeing what sticks.
 
TV and credit cards said:
Well, raising kids should be hit/miss. After all, you do get to keep trying until you get it right.

Most important job a person can ever have and we approach it by throwing crap at the wall and seeing what sticks.
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Parenting tip here - it's actually a lot more efficient or put the crap into a diaper bag and toss it in the trash. I'm not trying to overstep and tell you how to raise your children or anything, just passing on something that's worked for me.
 
RavenSky said:
SimpleDon said:
I have two grown and very successful children. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how to raise children. To this day my wife and I have absolutely no idea what we did right and what we did wrong. It is more of a mystery now than it seemed to be at the time.
Click to expand...

I suspect most of us parents feel that way, which makes it all the more funny when Loren tries to tell parents what they should or should not do :p

I will also note that the OP author is working from a skewed database. He claims to see a correlation between "helicopter parenting" and the mental health of the older teenagers he treats; however his data group consists of only older teenagers he treats. He has no insight into well-adjusted teenagers and young adults who may have had what some people disparagingly call "helicopter parents".

I also think the label becomes (like so many other labels) less descriptive of the person it is applied to and more about the bias of the finger-pointer.
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Let us not forget too, that parents involved in their children's lives are also more likely to seek out help for them if they suffer from anxiety/depression. I'm sure he considers this helicoptering as well.

- - - Updated - - -

Loren Pechtel said:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abilash-gopal-md/helicopter-parenting-has-_b_9657534.html

Idiots who end up in psychiatric care because they can't cope with the real world.
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Do you feel the same about soldiers with PTSD?
 
RavenSky said:
Playball40 said:
Let us not forget too, that parents involved in their children's lives are also more likely to seek out help for them if they suffer from anxiety/depression. I'm sure he considers this helicoptering as well.
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excellent point
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And lets remember that kids inherit their parents DNA. If the parents are anxiety/depression prone it is no surprise that we would see this in the kids.
 
Actually from what I've seen (from a growing group of very honest psychologists) is that what you do as a parent doesn't influence child behavior nearly as much as we would like to think. A lot of parents don't like thinking about that though. They're very resistant to the idea.
 
braces_for_impact said:
Actually from what I've seen (from a growing group of very honest psychologists) is that what you do as a parent doesn't influence child behavior nearly as much as we would like to think. A lot of parents don't like thinking about that though. They're very resistant to the idea.
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Well, Don and I and a few other parents here have already fully acknowledged it :lol:

(But I will still totally take the compliment from my daughter's father that I raised our child into a great young adult)
 
RavenSky said:
braces_for_impact said:
Actually from what I've seen (from a growing group of very honest psychologists) is that what you do as a parent doesn't influence child behavior nearly as much as we would like to think. A lot of parents don't like thinking about that though. They're very resistant to the idea.
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Well, Don and I and a few other parents here have already fully acknowledged it[emoji38]
(But I will still totally take the compliment from my daughter's father that I raised our child into a great young adult)
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Of course! We may not influence behavior add much as we like, but there's still something to be said for such a tough job. There's still a lot involved in treating a person with love, respect and guidance, and knowing when to back off.
 
braces_for_impact said:
Actually from what I've seen (from a growing group of very honest psychologists) is that what you do as a parent doesn't influence child behavior nearly as much as we would like to think. A lot of parents don't like thinking about that though. They're very resistant to the idea.
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What kind of behavior are we talking about? I'm just curious.
 
braces_for_impact said:
Growing research.

Why parenting may not matter and why most social science research is probably wrong

Big Think

Time Article: Why Parents (Still) Don't Matter

Paul Bloom in his work is fascinating. Especially his work on the morality of babies. Yes, 6 month olds already have a basic set of morals of a sort. This is nice when Christians like to ask where morals come from. It isn't a god, let me tell ya.
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There isn't any difference between the actions of an alleged Christian god and natural selection. So maybe they're actually on to something.
 
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