Twas the night before Christmas, and these three guys were out to have themselves a fine ol' time.
From bar to stripjoint to whorehouse, the three went. Then they went back and started over! But their luck ran out, and the totally blitzed driver ran them into a tree at high speed, and they all died.
So, the three rather ragged and suddenly sobered miscreants appear before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter gives them all the eye, and crossing his arms, tells them, "OK, we all know what you three were up to, and obviously that isn't the sort of behaviour which gets one into Heaven. But you're in luck; none of you are terribly evil, and this being the night of our dear Saviour's birth, I'm going to give you a chance. If you have an item about your person which can represent some aspect of the Christmas season, then I'll open the Gate and let you in."
So, the first drunk scratches his head, pats himself down- and smiling, he pulls a lighter from his pocket, flicks it, and says, "This represents the candles of Christmas!"
Peter smiles, and allows him to enter.
The second drunk steps up, feeling in his pockets- and comes out with a large ring of keys, which he jingles. "This represents the jingle-bells of the Christmas season!"
Peter allows this too.
So the third drunk- who had been driving the car- steps up, in a cold sweat. He doesn't smoke, so has no lighter. And his keys remain in the wreck down on Earth. He desperately goes through all his pockets- and suddenly stops, smiles, and pulls out of a back pocket-
a skimpy pair of women's panties.
St. Pete, with a raised eyebrow, says, "Now, just how are *those* supposed to represent the spirit of Christmas, pray tell??"
And the third drunk, with a huge grin, says-